"The notion that such persons are gay of heart and carefree is curiously untrue. They lead, as a matter of fact, an existence of jumpiness and apprehension. They sit on the edge of the chair of Literature. In the house of Life they have the feeling that they have never taken off their overcoats."
- James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

It sounded like such a simple plan

I am exhausted, Peeps, and I still have errands to run. Blame it on the holidays, and my own damned creative streak. You see, I had an idea. An awful idea. I had a wonderfully awful idea.

Every year, my family takes a Christmas photo (see this blog post for how that goes), and I write a Christmas letter. I try to keep the letters brief, inject a little humor, tug on a heartstring, etc. For years now, I've been submitting our picture to either an on-line service, or schlepping to the local drugstore, to make picture cards. Some years, it would be the 4 x 8 card, with our photo on one side and some kind of "Season's Greetings" on the other. Some years, I opted for the 5 x 7 folded card with the message inside.

But each year, I had to print the letter separately, and then find a way to fold it into the card. Neither style of card lent itself to inserting an 8-1/2 x 11 inch piece of paper, unless I folded it into some kind of origami critter.


This year, we ended up with some good pictures, and one really funny one. I couldn't decide which photo to use. Then I got the Most Brilliant of Ideas. If I used a brochure template, I could put one photo on the front, then the other photo on the first fold-out, and finally, the letter on the inside. It would be Per.Fect.

I went to Office Max and behold! They had brochure paper, nice and thick, and already scored for easy folding. I could print as many cards as I needed, without wasting. I wouldn't have to wait for my cards to be processed and shipped to me. And no more origami letters!

Here's the thing: I have two printers and they BOTH hate the brochure paper. It's the wrong weight for them. It's like I'm trying to feed a hamburger to confirmed vegans. Neither of them like to grab it and feed it in, to be printed. They get a corner, wrinkle the paper, then announce that they "need paper." They do not need paper. They are both big wussies.

So in order to implement my brilliant plan and save money/time, blah, blah, I spent all morning in front of my wireless printer, feeding it one sheet of brochure paper at a time, in order to produce 60 copies of our Christmas card/letter. Many bad words were said. Many names were called.

It did not feel like the most wonderful time of the year.

So here's the front of our "Christmas brochure:"


Open it up and you'll see this:



Unfold the last flap to read:



If I need to make more, I may just take my files to Office Max and let them make copies. It costs a lot more to make color copies, but it will definitely save my sanity.

Got any Christmas photos/letters floating around the internet that you'd like to share? Perhaps a story or two of the sacrifices you've made to get those cards in the mail?

1 comment:

Tameri Etherton said...

You slay me.

Those poor printers! At least you finally got a finished product and it looks great.