Hey, gang, I found Peri's diary the other day. You know, Peri Minneopa, the main character in my book, Freezer Burn. She's a private investigator in my novel, but she used to have a career cleaning houses. Most of it's pretty dull stuff, but I thought this entry was really interesting:
"10/14/07
I'm exhausted. Cleaned the Jeffers house and Dr. Bite's office today – his name isn't really Dr. Bite, but he's a dentist, so I like calling him that. Doesn't matter, he's never there when I come to clean.
The Jeffers house was a sty this time. Mrs. Jeffers is on travel. I could tell because her side of the sink is missing some bottles, and her power suit isn't in the closet, but the dry cleaning bag is still hanging there. She didn't run off, 'cause the Volvo was in the garage. From the looks of the place when she's gone, it wouldn't surprise me if she did just pack it up and leave. Between the husband, the teenage girl and the ten-year old boy, none of them can pick a towel up, throw a wrapper away, get a dish even near the kitchen, let alone the sink, nothing. Usually, when I go to their house, I do the basics and I'm done in two hours. I gave them an extra half-hour today and worked my ass off to get everything done in a half-assed way.
Mr. Jeffers started to give me a little grief about the lack of serious dusting, but I pointed out that he may want to put a little stain remover on the shirt I picked up off the floor, because Mrs. Jeffers' dark berry lipstick was all over the inside of the collar. He stared at me, trying to figure out if I knew Mrs. Jeffers doesn't wear dark lipstick (I know she likes the bronzes), then shut up and paid me.
Dr. Bite's office was in its usual state when I got there. Neat and organized, even before I start cleaning. It even smells mint-y fresh. I dust, clean the bathroom and scrub the sinks out. I don't touch the equipment – that's their department. Found a note under the chair in his office when I was vacuuming today. "Call me 555-6009" in big, curly handwriting, with a little smiley face, like a teenager would sign. Of course I was curious. Is it a note he found, or is Dr. Bite a perv, messing with little girls?
True confession time – I opened his desk drawers to see if I could find out what the note meant. One of the drawers was locked, but I know the key is under the desk lamp, because I move it when I dust. It's a pretty stupid place to hide a key, so I went ahead and used it. If the pictures in that drawer are the same woman who wrote that note, at least she looks legal – every bare inch of her. At that moment, I was really happy I'd never let any of my exes take photos of me in the nude. Or Skip.
Speaking of Skip, we were going to have dinner tonight, but he got called on a case. Sometimes sucks dating a detective. So I had a long soak in the tub for my tired muscles, then had my favorite dinner, Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream, and watched a Sherlock Holmes movie. I love mysteries. While I was in the tub, I started thinking about what Blanche said when we had lunch Wednesday. She thinks I should get out of the housecleaning business and become a private investigator. I can't help but think about the PI's I see on TV or read about in books. They're always in some kind of hot water. I hate danger, but my shoulders and knees sure are feeling today's bout with the Jeffers house. I suppose I could just do background checks, surveillance, stuff like that. Sitting in a car is easier than scrubbing toilets, any day. I'm just afraid I wouldn't be any good at it.
Well, gonna read one more chapter of that new Michele Scott mystery before I turn in. Her amateur sleuth, Nikki, is always in trouble. I wonder if I should tell Skip about that gun I saw in Dr. Bite's locked drawer.
Goodnight."
I guess she decided to start a new career after all. Too bad it didn't turn out to be as low risk as she'd hoped.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
My big, fat (possibly existential) question of the day
Attention! Attention, Writers! If you are a writer, I need your attention, NOW!
I'm taking a poll, mostly because I'm so damn curious, if I was a cat I'd be down to my last life right now.
First, go to the Southern California Writer's Conference blog (click here) and watch the clip of Joe Wambaugh, David Brin, Mark Clements, and other authors talk about the technical process of writing. I was particularly struck by their unwillingness at the time (1996) to embrace the word processor as a writing tool. Thomas Wolfe wrote Look Homeward, Angel standing in his kitchen, using the top of his refrigerator as a desk - the first draft was somewhere between 250,000 and 380,000 words (I guess Wolfe had a hard time counting). A few years ago, I was privileged to hear Ray Bradbury speak; although he is quite computer literate, he still prefers to use a typewriter for his manuscripts.
Now, my question to you, as a writer is this: How much of your time, your labor, your perserverance, would you give to your book(s) if you did not have the wonders of the modern computer? Be absolutely honest about this - knowing your last novel went through 30 revisions, would you still be willing to re-type the whole thing for submission to an agent?
What I'm looking for is basic insights into all of us, as writers. Perhaps you use a typewriter, or like to write things out by hand. Perhaps you like to use different tools for different types of writing. As for myself, I'm still mulling this over. My first, easiest response is that, being a former software engineer and feeling so comfy around computers, I don't know why I'd use anything else. But that's not all of it, since sometimes I like the feel of a pen in my hand. I'm still thinking about it... but why should I be the only one lost in thought? Please share.
I'm taking a poll, mostly because I'm so damn curious, if I was a cat I'd be down to my last life right now.
First, go to the Southern California Writer's Conference blog (click here) and watch the clip of Joe Wambaugh, David Brin, Mark Clements, and other authors talk about the technical process of writing. I was particularly struck by their unwillingness at the time (1996) to embrace the word processor as a writing tool. Thomas Wolfe wrote Look Homeward, Angel standing in his kitchen, using the top of his refrigerator as a desk - the first draft was somewhere between 250,000 and 380,000 words (I guess Wolfe had a hard time counting). A few years ago, I was privileged to hear Ray Bradbury speak; although he is quite computer literate, he still prefers to use a typewriter for his manuscripts.
Now, my question to you, as a writer is this: How much of your time, your labor, your perserverance, would you give to your book(s) if you did not have the wonders of the modern computer? Be absolutely honest about this - knowing your last novel went through 30 revisions, would you still be willing to re-type the whole thing for submission to an agent?
What I'm looking for is basic insights into all of us, as writers. Perhaps you use a typewriter, or like to write things out by hand. Perhaps you like to use different tools for different types of writing. As for myself, I'm still mulling this over. My first, easiest response is that, being a former software engineer and feeling so comfy around computers, I don't know why I'd use anything else. But that's not all of it, since sometimes I like the feel of a pen in my hand. I'm still thinking about it... but why should I be the only one lost in thought? Please share.
Friday, March 20, 2009
The wheels are in motion
Okay, they've been in motion every since Karen Syed said, "Would you like a contract?" Let's say that they're in gear and going ten, maybe fifteen, miles an hour. Yesterday I went to the Placentia City Hall and rented one of the community buildings for my book launch. Specifically, I rented the Backs Building in Kraemer Memorial Park. This one:
It's Peri and Skip's favorite neighborhood restaurant. In my short story in Missing ("Cleaning Up at the Franks"), this place is called Paolini's. That's because this place used to actually be called Paolini's. I like that name better than Capone's, but hey, I don't own the place. They changed the name halfway through my work with Kat, my editor, so I had to do a global replace if I wanted the book to halfway match reality. Capone's would be a great place to have a launch party. Good food, we could have alcohol, but I'd be paying an arm and a leg, and possibly my liver and a couple more organs. I love my book, but I can't go into debt celebrating its release. Of course, in this economy I'm just hoping Capone's lasts until my next book.
Back to the Backs Building – first of all, I'll set the mood with Dean Martin. In addition to Dino, I'll have some of Peri's favorite music (Eric Clapton and Arrowsmith), and I'll try to press my son's singing/guitar playing into service.
I'll decorate the tables with roses, to tie in with the Forever Roses Ring. I'll offer punch and cookies. Look at the cookie cutters I found:
Cool, yes? If I can get cookies made like these, it would be perfect. If it's cost-prohibitive, I could have a couple dozen of these to decorate the plate of plain cookies.
For entertainment, here's what I'm thinking:
1. Portable DVD players around the room, playing slide shows and other teasers for book.
2. Brief interview (I plan to enlist my friend, Robin, to come up with interesting questions).
3. Brief reading, along with a little Q&A.
4. Raffle off a book (money goes to support Placentia Library).
5. A large jar of olives – guess how many are in the jar and win a book.
6. First x number of people get promo materials.
What have I forgotten? Oh, yes, how about a table full of my books for sale, and an endless supply of pens for me to autograph them!
So… how's that sound? BTW, I'm holding it Sunday, July 19th, in the afternoon. Come on out and have some cookies!
I thought this would be a good place to have the launch party because this is where they find the first body in my book. Actually, they find it behind this building. The good thing about this building is that it's large enough to handle a lot of people, and it has a connection to the book. The bad thing about this building is that I can't serve any alcohol here, so Peri's dirty martinis will not be available.
I would have preferred to rent this place:
It's Peri and Skip's favorite neighborhood restaurant. In my short story in Missing ("Cleaning Up at the Franks"), this place is called Paolini's. That's because this place used to actually be called Paolini's. I like that name better than Capone's, but hey, I don't own the place. They changed the name halfway through my work with Kat, my editor, so I had to do a global replace if I wanted the book to halfway match reality. Capone's would be a great place to have a launch party. Good food, we could have alcohol, but I'd be paying an arm and a leg, and possibly my liver and a couple more organs. I love my book, but I can't go into debt celebrating its release. Of course, in this economy I'm just hoping Capone's lasts until my next book.Back to the Backs Building – first of all, I'll set the mood with Dean Martin. In addition to Dino, I'll have some of Peri's favorite music (Eric Clapton and Arrowsmith), and I'll try to press my son's singing/guitar playing into service.
I'll decorate the tables with roses, to tie in with the Forever Roses Ring. I'll offer punch and cookies. Look at the cookie cutters I found:
Cool, yes? If I can get cookies made like these, it would be perfect. If it's cost-prohibitive, I could have a couple dozen of these to decorate the plate of plain cookies.For entertainment, here's what I'm thinking:
1. Portable DVD players around the room, playing slide shows and other teasers for book.
2. Brief interview (I plan to enlist my friend, Robin, to come up with interesting questions).
3. Brief reading, along with a little Q&A.
4. Raffle off a book (money goes to support Placentia Library).
5. A large jar of olives – guess how many are in the jar and win a book.
6. First x number of people get promo materials.
What have I forgotten? Oh, yes, how about a table full of my books for sale, and an endless supply of pens for me to autograph them!
So… how's that sound? BTW, I'm holding it Sunday, July 19th, in the afternoon. Come on out and have some cookies!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Here I come, to save the day!
What do we ask for in a hero? Is it different from what we ask in a heroine? Alexandra Sokoloff is dissecting protagonists today in her blog (http://thedarksalon.blogspot.com). She does a damn fine job of picking apart Jake Gittes, Jack Nicholson's character from Chinatown. I recommend you skip over there and read it, it's high quality brain food.
As usual, she asked her readers to share their favorite hero/ines, an exercise we had already done with our villains. Some readers like their heroes with deep flaws; some like them best when they're vulnerable underdogs. Since I'm a constant lurker on her blog, I wrote a rather long comment about all of the qualities I like in my protagonists, then I thought about specific characters I like - and I erased the comment. I wasn't certain my heroes all lived up to the qualities I'd listed. Instead, I listed the characters and said I'd have to think about what it is I like about them. I meant, of course, in the sweeping generalization sense.
One of the things I like about Alex's blog is that we truly have discussions - she makes comments about our comments. Her comment to me: "But I'd like to hear what you like about them."
So I thought, instead of taking up vast amounts of Alex's comment space, I'd discuss my who are my favorite heroes here (and why):
1. Sherlock Holmes. Okay, he's not the most two-dimensional character in history, but he set the standard for brilliant detectives. My heroes need to be smart. They have to outwit the villain, not outpunch him. It would have been nice if Sir Arthur had given us some inkling into Holmes' reasons for the drug abuse - I never quite bought his excuse of "ennui", but I understand that it wasn't important to his audience at the time. I remember enjoying the book The Seven Percent Solution, by Nicholas Meyer, which tried to take us a little deeper into Holmes' addiction.
2. Philip Marlowe. Whether reading The Big Sleep, or watching the Bogart version, I could really go for this guy. Tough, smart, and playful, something Holmes lacks. He stays ahead of the villains, most of the time, and when he gets caught, he's smart enough to find a way out of trouble. He could be seen as world-weary, which I'm not a big fan of, but he's still got that burning inquisitiveness that keeps him from giving up on humanity. He stays up late to figure out Geiger's code book (I'm talking about the movie here), and he continues to work the Sternwood case even when the D.A. and the general's daughter try to make him stop. This isn't a guy who's finished with life.
3. Eve Diamond. She's the intrepid reporter created by Denise Hamilton, a former (intrepid) reporter for the L.A. Times. I like Eve because she's good at her job, and she goes about it fearlessly. This is fairly sexist on my part; I assume my heroes are fearless, but I require my heroines to be so. Eve will go into any den in Hell to get the story, even if her heart is trying to claw its way out of her to escape. Her love life is usually a hot mess, but she's aware of the problem. Poor thing, she really does think the next guy will be The One, but she keeps choosing bad boys.
4.Flynn Carsen. This is the hero of The Librarian movies. If you haven't seen them, they were made-for-TV movies by Turner Network Television (TNT). Flynn is played by Noah Wyle; he is a supersmart geek (even by geek standards) who has a gazillion university degrees and a head chock full o' facts. He thinks he wants to get a steady job, find a girl, and live a normal life. Instead, he is recruited to be the "Librarian", in charge of collecting and maintaining a unique collection of artifacts - like Excalibur, Pan's flute, the Holy Grail, etc. Check it out here. What I like about Flynn is that he is smart, but hasn't quite accepted his fate as Keeper of Really Important Relics. He is also truly heroic in his desire to do the right thing, at any cost.
5. Rick O'Connell. The hero of the Mummy movies first strikes me as a lout, but as soon as the lovely Evelyn hires him and gets him cleaned up, he gets smarter. I like Rick because he is smart, but he doesn't want to admit it. Part of the reason, I think, is that his knowledge may be from an ancient source, which he doesn't believe in. I also love that he is intensely loyal to his wife, and later, his son. He's kinda yummy, too.
6. Ripley. Sigourney Weaver impressed me as a heroine because it was the first time I saw that kind of physical strength portrayed by a woman on the screen. She fought the Alien with her brain, and every weapon she could get her hands on.
7. Nick and Nora Charles. I don't think I'd like to see these two separately, but I love them as a team. Funny, smart, and snappy dressers!
The next three are strictly from TV-land:
8. Brenda Lee Johnson. She's a driven police chief in L.A. (The Closer) who keeps a stash of junk food in her drawer because she eats chocolate when she's stressed. Again, a smart cookie, I wouldn't say she's absolutely fearless, but she will leap into the thick of things, even when she's afraid.
9. Ziva David. She's not really the "star" of NCIS, but I like her character, the Mossad-trained Israeli who mangles English slang, threatens suspects with bodily harm, yet fusses over her teammates and occasionally, second-guesses herself.
10. Allison DuBois. Even if you don't believe in the power of psychics, this character on Medium is compelling. She has spent a lifetime fearing this ability, being told to ignore it, trying to drink it away. Now that she's allowed to use it, she doesn't always know what the dead are trying to tell her. She's supremely human, trying to be a mom and a wife and a responsible member of society - and I like her because she's like me in some ways, trying to juggle all the balls, plus add the one marked "Me" in every once in awhile. Only she gets to discover the murderer and save the day!
So those are mine. It's clear I want my hero/ines to be smart, funny, fearless people. I don't care if they have flaws, as long as they are at least human.
What are your favorite traits in a hero/ine? Are they the same for both?
As usual, she asked her readers to share their favorite hero/ines, an exercise we had already done with our villains. Some readers like their heroes with deep flaws; some like them best when they're vulnerable underdogs. Since I'm a constant lurker on her blog, I wrote a rather long comment about all of the qualities I like in my protagonists, then I thought about specific characters I like - and I erased the comment. I wasn't certain my heroes all lived up to the qualities I'd listed. Instead, I listed the characters and said I'd have to think about what it is I like about them. I meant, of course, in the sweeping generalization sense.
One of the things I like about Alex's blog is that we truly have discussions - she makes comments about our comments. Her comment to me: "But I'd like to hear what you like about them."
So I thought, instead of taking up vast amounts of Alex's comment space, I'd discuss my who are my favorite heroes here (and why):
1. Sherlock Holmes. Okay, he's not the most two-dimensional character in history, but he set the standard for brilliant detectives. My heroes need to be smart. They have to outwit the villain, not outpunch him. It would have been nice if Sir Arthur had given us some inkling into Holmes' reasons for the drug abuse - I never quite bought his excuse of "ennui", but I understand that it wasn't important to his audience at the time. I remember enjoying the book The Seven Percent Solution, by Nicholas Meyer, which tried to take us a little deeper into Holmes' addiction.
2. Philip Marlowe. Whether reading The Big Sleep, or watching the Bogart version, I could really go for this guy. Tough, smart, and playful, something Holmes lacks. He stays ahead of the villains, most of the time, and when he gets caught, he's smart enough to find a way out of trouble. He could be seen as world-weary, which I'm not a big fan of, but he's still got that burning inquisitiveness that keeps him from giving up on humanity. He stays up late to figure out Geiger's code book (I'm talking about the movie here), and he continues to work the Sternwood case even when the D.A. and the general's daughter try to make him stop. This isn't a guy who's finished with life.
3. Eve Diamond. She's the intrepid reporter created by Denise Hamilton, a former (intrepid) reporter for the L.A. Times. I like Eve because she's good at her job, and she goes about it fearlessly. This is fairly sexist on my part; I assume my heroes are fearless, but I require my heroines to be so. Eve will go into any den in Hell to get the story, even if her heart is trying to claw its way out of her to escape. Her love life is usually a hot mess, but she's aware of the problem. Poor thing, she really does think the next guy will be The One, but she keeps choosing bad boys.
4.Flynn Carsen. This is the hero of The Librarian movies. If you haven't seen them, they were made-for-TV movies by Turner Network Television (TNT). Flynn is played by Noah Wyle; he is a supersmart geek (even by geek standards) who has a gazillion university degrees and a head chock full o' facts. He thinks he wants to get a steady job, find a girl, and live a normal life. Instead, he is recruited to be the "Librarian", in charge of collecting and maintaining a unique collection of artifacts - like Excalibur, Pan's flute, the Holy Grail, etc. Check it out here. What I like about Flynn is that he is smart, but hasn't quite accepted his fate as Keeper of Really Important Relics. He is also truly heroic in his desire to do the right thing, at any cost.
5. Rick O'Connell. The hero of the Mummy movies first strikes me as a lout, but as soon as the lovely Evelyn hires him and gets him cleaned up, he gets smarter. I like Rick because he is smart, but he doesn't want to admit it. Part of the reason, I think, is that his knowledge may be from an ancient source, which he doesn't believe in. I also love that he is intensely loyal to his wife, and later, his son. He's kinda yummy, too.
6. Ripley. Sigourney Weaver impressed me as a heroine because it was the first time I saw that kind of physical strength portrayed by a woman on the screen. She fought the Alien with her brain, and every weapon she could get her hands on.
7. Nick and Nora Charles. I don't think I'd like to see these two separately, but I love them as a team. Funny, smart, and snappy dressers!
The next three are strictly from TV-land:
8. Brenda Lee Johnson. She's a driven police chief in L.A. (The Closer) who keeps a stash of junk food in her drawer because she eats chocolate when she's stressed. Again, a smart cookie, I wouldn't say she's absolutely fearless, but she will leap into the thick of things, even when she's afraid.
9. Ziva David. She's not really the "star" of NCIS, but I like her character, the Mossad-trained Israeli who mangles English slang, threatens suspects with bodily harm, yet fusses over her teammates and occasionally, second-guesses herself.
10. Allison DuBois. Even if you don't believe in the power of psychics, this character on Medium is compelling. She has spent a lifetime fearing this ability, being told to ignore it, trying to drink it away. Now that she's allowed to use it, she doesn't always know what the dead are trying to tell her. She's supremely human, trying to be a mom and a wife and a responsible member of society - and I like her because she's like me in some ways, trying to juggle all the balls, plus add the one marked "Me" in every once in awhile. Only she gets to discover the murderer and save the day!
So those are mine. It's clear I want my hero/ines to be smart, funny, fearless people. I don't care if they have flaws, as long as they are at least human.
What are your favorite traits in a hero/ine? Are they the same for both?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Who knew?
You all know I write a newspaper column, right? Most people consider it an "Erma Bombeck" style of humor essay, which doesn't offend me in the least since I loved Erma and even share a birthday with her. You can read some of my columns here.
I've been writing the column since March 2005, describing the ups, downs and quirkiness of life at the Carline house. It's been an interesting job. Every week I tell some tale about Marcus at school or Dale and I trying to have a conversation, but I rarely get any feedback about my essays. Were they good? Did anybody laugh? Is anybody reading them?
Four years later, I've started to get noticed. People I meet around town tell me they read my column every week and enjoy it a lot. It's such a reward to know I'm not writing into a void. Still, I consider my essays to be frivolous little excursions into one family's life. You know, a mom's story about getting her son to do his homework, or a woman's tale of getting her car repaired. Not exactly hard-hitting news.
Then, this weekend, that perception changed. I was at the end of the year banquet for my son's high school soccer game, sitting at a table with two couples I didn't know, chatting about our kids and the latest budget crisis, etc. At the end of the evening, one of the women moved over to the chair next to mine and said, "I want to thank you for all those articles you write. My son is two years behind Marcus, and I feel like you've prepared me for everything he's gone through."
She pointed out an article I had written specifically about the transition from elementary school to junior high. I was a little dismayed by the extremes at the time: we had gone from a very supportive, feel-good elementary education, to an environment that rivaled most universities in the degree of "sink or swim" independence, and lack of involvement from the teachers. When her son went into junior high, she knew how to be pro-active, just from reading my humorous take on Middle School Survival tactics. People do tell me they like my columns because they see themselves in my situations, but who knew my sassy writing would actually help someone?
Her remarks were the high point of my weekend. I've written my column for four years, and will probably continue, as long as I enjoy it and my editors keep me around. I remember, after the first year, thinking I was a pretty good writer now and why wasn't I getting more noticed? Now, I look back and see how much I had to learn and to grow, both in my skills and my reputation. And I feel that I'm truly ready to be a successful author, as well as a "famous-in-my-own-backyard" columnist.
What about you? Did anyone else think they were ready for the next big thing, whether it was a book deal or a work promotion, only to realize there were still some lessons to learn? What did you do to be ready to take that step?
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