"The notion that such persons are gay of heart and carefree is curiously untrue. They lead, as a matter of fact, an existence of jumpiness and apprehension. They sit on the edge of the chair of Literature. In the house of Life they have the feeling that they have never taken off their overcoats."
- James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times

Sunday, May 6, 2012


My good friend, Tameri Etherton, has a kick-ass blog (and someday will release a kick-ass novel, trust me) and every month she posts a "Crush of the Month" where she waxes poetic about whatever actor or singer or Starbucks barista (okay, kidding about this one) she thinks is deliriously exciting. Check her out - her posts are great fun.

Her crushes are always very logical choices. Her guys are always gorgeous. I mean, the woman's got good taste. Her posts remind me of my own crushes, except mine are mostly not as, hm, reasonable as hers. I mean, it's not always obvious why I'm so taken with some guys. And while I'm certain, she would have a great time meeting any one of her adorable guys, I am hoping I never run into any of my crushes, because I would giggle like a schoolgirl.

This is not attractive for a woman of my age.

So these are the men I will not be meeting:

I was first smitten with Eric Clapton when I went to see Concert for Bangladesh. I didn't know at the time he was deeply ill with the effects of heroin addiction and his friends feared he might not live. He did recover, however, and he's still a major crush. I've seen him twice in concert, and given the chance, I'd see him again.

Just don't bother getting me a backstage pass. I won't use it. Or I will use it, embarrass myself completely and blame you.

Then there's this guy:

I don't know how to explain my crush on Danny Glover, except to show you this:
My hubby.

I first noticed Danny in Silverado, liked him in the Lethal Weapon series, but really "saw" him in Grand Canyon. I dunno, he's just so solid - I mean, I know he plays bad guys, too, but his good guys are earthy and real and quiet and-and-and-

Never mind. Moving on.

Okay, this is kind of a no-brainer. I cannot, under any circumstances, come into contact with this man without becoming a blithering idiot. And if you add in his latest TV partner, I would be locked away in the looney bin.

I can't really say I loved the Batman movies, but I did love Robin/Chris.

There's one guy I don't exactly have a crush on, in terms of "isn't he dreamy", but I'm still pretty sure a giggle-fit would result if I ever met him. This is a problem, because the chances of my meeting this guy are pretty darned good. You see, I've been corresponding with him about being the featured guest at our Placentia Library Author's Luncheon, held next March.

That's right. Dean Koontz. I confess, I'm in awe of the man. He's written a gazillion books, only half of which I've been able to read. Anything he writes sells an infinite number of copies. According to one of his anecdotes his books are published even when his editor hates them.

I nearly met him today, when I saw him speak at the Fullerton Library. He was supposed to sign books afterward, and I spent most of the morning practicing, "Hi, Mr. Koontz, I'm Gayle Carline, we've been corresponding about your visit to the Placentia Library," without giggling and bursting into blushing flames. Unfortunately, he had to leave early, so there was no signing. (He did feel badly about it, and gave us all a free, pre-autographed copy of Trixie's memoir.)

If everything goes well and he's our guest, I'm wondering whether I can get all my tee-heeing done in the car on the way to the event, or if I will need a big glass of something to calm me down.

Who are some of your crushes? And what goes best with being a blithering idiot - red or white wine?


Jenny said...

This post made me laugh, Gayle. Actor, David Millbern is one man who floats my boat :-)

Tameri Etherton said...

Hahahaha! Okay, now I have an Agenda.

Get Gayle backstage to see Eric Clapton.

Get on that luncheon list to be Gayle's Wingwoman when she meets Dean.

Find out how to get on the set of NCIS, take Gayle along for a 'studio tour'.

Why would I do all of this? Well, because I love you, naturally! Also because it would be great fun to see you giggle like a school girl, which, truth be told I would also do if I met my crushes and even these guys. They are so cute!

What's that? You noticed I left off Danny? Of course I did. You have the better version of him at home every night! You don't need Danny when you've got your hubs.

Thanks so much for the cool shout out. Keep on crushing, my friend.

Gayle Carline said...

Tameri, you're evil. And you know I'd go along with it, KNOWING what an IDIOT I'd make of myself.

If we get Dean for the luncheon, I'll save you a ticket.

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