Take it away, Todd.
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No Dicks vs. Dicks
Check this out, I'm in the women's room and Gayle's in the men's room. Yeah, yeah, we've all done this by accident, but we're doing this intentionally. I get to talk at her blog about Dicks and No Dicks while she is stuck at mine working through her deepest, darkest mind-numbing fears. Who has the lighter gig today?
It's refreshing to come out of the dark and into the light today and say hello to the fine folks following this blog. Please don't take this as being abrupt but I'm going to get right to the story.
Recently I was out with a friend and he wanted to go throw down a beer and we stumbled upon this ramshackle bar in the middle of a town neither of us knew. I mean this place might have been new forty years ago. The only thing fresh there was the grass growing on the leaning roof and the beer bottle caps stuck in the ceiling.
The writer in me was drawn to their curious bathroom labels.
Creativity can be found in the strangest places, huh? But my mind wouldn't stop here, I started thinking about other labels they could have used. I mean, really, why stop at the Dicks thing. So I started making a list of her / him alternative bar bathroom labels:
1. In / Out
2. Hole / Moutain
3. Pink-green / Blue-green (for the eco-conscious)
4. Tidy / Messy
5. Sit / Stand
6. PMS / NFL or NBA or MLB (your choice)
7. Tampon / Temper
8. Romance / Sex
9. Wine / Beer
10. Earth / Wood
This was becoming so much fun that I flirted with asking my twitter friends to help me come up with more but thankfully common sense took over.
I'm going to leave Gayle's bathroom now. I am tidying up on the way out and yes, lifted the seat and washed my hands. I do appreciate the opportunity to come over here and say hello and at resist all temptation to pitch my book. A writer's promotional constipation: we want to promote and it is right there at the surface. But. We. Just. Can't.
Where is the paper towel dispenser, Gayle? No, no, not one of those hand dryers when we have to touch the germ-ridden door handles anyway?
I exit and try to leave behind those brain stealing alternative bathroom labels. It's not working, here's another: Hello / Goodbye.
Todd Russell started writing fiction immediately after he learned how to go to the bathroom on his own. Mental Shrillness, a collection of six twist ending horror stories, is his first book. An Amazon reviewer writes: “I was appalled … the stories are horrifying, disturbing and nauseating at times. I recommend Mental Shrillness to adult readers to challenge themselves on how strange a story they can handle.” You can follow Todd’s work at http://toddrwrite.com/
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Amazon US Kindle
Barnes & Noble NOOK
Smashwords (multiple e-formats)
Amazon DE (Germany)
Thanks, Todd! Now, please just get out of my restroom. By the way, did you eat the potpourri?