Isn't she fabulous? Check out the shoes - who wouldn't want to dress up like her? There are only two problems. One is I don't have the time, or possibly the ability to MAKE a costume like this, and I don't know where I'd rent one. The other is, at my age, I don't have the abs to make it fab. But if given the opportunity, I'd make it work.
Maybe I should just stick with this one. I could probably whip up an adult-sized version of this without too much trouble. (In case you don't know, I'm a horse. My Aunt Ardell made this for me, and was my idol forever after.)
Now then, to more pressing, non-scary matters:
I'VE CHOSEN A WINNER.
Remember last month when I was trying to goad you all into helping me chose a name for my next humor book? Remember the rules, where you could vote for one, or come up with a new one, and that I'd either pick the one with the most votes or the suggestion that was so freakin' brilliant it made every other title hide in shame?
That last thing happened. A title was submitted that was P.E.R.F.E.C.T. Perfect, I tell you. When I turned it in to Joe Felipe, my cover designer, he designed the P.E.R.F.E.C.T. cover for it. It's kErma, I tell you. Karmic Erma.
Title submitted by Tameri Etherton, who will receive a free, autographed copy.
When Gayle Carline clawed her way into her local newspaper office and groveled until they gave her a weekly humor column, she worried about not having enough material. Then she took a look at her life. Nearly every week something in her house or car needs repair, her son doesn't know why being able to see his carpet is a big deal, and her husband believes less is more, especially when it comes to communication. In What Would Erma Do, she chronicled her first two years as a paid exaggerator. Now she's back with two more years of merriment, along with editorial high jinks and readers' opinions. It's the most fun she's ever had without a credit card.
"This is off the record, right, Mom?" - Marcus Carline
Quotes from World Famous Reviewers:
"When I retire, I'm writing some rebuttals." - Dale Carline
Are You There Erma? It's Me, Gayle will be released within the next two weeks (I still want to give it one more read-through). As always, it will be available as a paperback for $12.99, as well as an e-reader through Kindle, Nook, Sony, Apple, Kobo, you name it, I'll sell it there for the low-low price of 99 cents.
I'll, of course, announce its availability on Facebook, Twitter, and the 6 o'clock news, if I can figure out a way to get their attention without being arrested. But if you want to just be told, ship me your email and you'll be the first to receive the announcement. I promise, PROMISE, not to email you anything else, unless you request it.