"The notion that such persons are gay of heart and carefree is curiously untrue. They lead, as a matter of fact, an existence of jumpiness and apprehension. They sit on the edge of the chair of Literature. In the house of Life they have the feeling that they have never taken off their overcoats."
- James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Wrapping up Christmas - at least the fireplace

As I've said in a previous post, I'm responsible for decorating the inside of our house for Christmas. Or Halloween. Or Easter. Or Whateverthehell Day. For the most part, I can handle this. There's only one thing that I could really use an extra pair of hands on:

Aw, you say, what a lovely garland. Lovely, my eye. This thing is about 25 feet long and is not soft or flexible. As a matter of fact, it is as pliable as a corpse with rigor. With a one-story house, there is no bannister to drape it over, so I wrap it around the fireplace chimney.

If I can get Marcus to help, he's tall enough to hold one end while I wrap, then grab the middle, etc. If I do this by myself, I am using fishing line, heavy objects, and the stepladder to accomplish the same thing.* By the time I am finished wrestling this monstrosity, this is what it looks like to me:

I know what you're thinking - Why does she put it on the fireplace in the first place?

See the book-like object on the left? It is an Advent Calendar. Inside, there are 24 teeny books on strings that tell the Christmas story. When Marcus was a wee little lad, every night he would read the 10-15 words in the appropriate book, then he would hang the book on the garland. I believe the last time he did this, he was a sophomore in high school and there might have been some mild protestations as he did them.

And so Gayle makes one more trip down Nostalgia Lane.

Here. Just listen to Nat while I go sit by the tree with some wine. A really big glass of wine.

*Why don't I ask my hubby to help me? Because when we work together, it sounds like this:

Dale: Mrmfaphljf.
Me: What?
Me: Wrap it around there (gesturing).
Dale: Where?
Me: There.
Dale: Mrmfallphfhl.
Me: Never mind. I've got this.


Tameri Etherton said...

I'm pretty sure your husband and mine are twins separate at birth. The more I learn of yours, the more he sounds like mine.

Hrmphgglermpfh, indeed!

David will hang the lights on the tree, but with a lot of complaining. I do all the decorating, inside and out. The one thing David kicks butt at? Wrapping presents. Thank goodness, too. I kind of suck at wrapping, only because I have very little patience for it. David is meticulous and every package looks gorgeous. I would envy him, but that might imply I have a desire to be that good. So I just thank him profusely and hand him another package to wrap.


Gayle Carline said...

Dale and I purchase and wrap the presents for our own families. I swore not to fall into the trap where the wife buys for everyone. At one point, Dale expressed a wish that I would buy for his family, but I pretended not to hear. I'm the better wrapper, but I've gone lazy over the years. Gift bags and cute boxes work for me. I do put curling ribbon on the boxes, which is why my thumb is raw right now - I kind missed with the scissors and scraped the top of it. Someone's getting the gift of DNA on their package...

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