Aw, you say, what a lovely garland. Lovely, my eye. This thing is about 25 feet long and is not soft or flexible. As a matter of fact, it is as pliable as a corpse with rigor. With a one-story house, there is no bannister to drape it over, so I wrap it around the fireplace chimney.
If I can get Marcus to help, he's tall enough to hold one end while I wrap, then grab the middle, etc. If I do this by myself, I am using fishing line, heavy objects, and the stepladder to accomplish the same thing.* By the time I am finished wrestling this monstrosity, this is what it looks like to me:
I know what you're thinking - Why does she put it on the fireplace in the first place?
See the book-like object on the left? It is an Advent Calendar. Inside, there are 24 teeny books on strings that tell the Christmas story. When Marcus was a wee little lad, every night he would read the 10-15 words in the appropriate book, then he would hang the book on the garland. I believe the last time he did this, he was a sophomore in high school and there might have been some mild protestations as he did them.
And so Gayle makes one more trip down Nostalgia Lane.
Here. Just listen to Nat while I go sit by the tree with some wine. A really big glass of wine.
*Why don't I ask my hubby to help me? Because when we work together, it sounds like this:
Dale: Mrmfaphljf.
Me: What?
Dale: I. SAID. WHAT. DO. I. DO. WITH. THIS.
Me: Wrap it around there (gesturing).
Dale: Where?
Me: There.
Dale: Mrmfallphfhl.
Me: Never mind. I've got this.
