In addition to my two horses and the cat, we have a Pembroke Welsh Corgi named Mikey. I use the term "we" very loosely. My son wanted a cat so we got Katy, who immediately bonded to me. Then he wanted a dog, so we got Mikey, who bonded to, yes, me. Even the goldfish (RIP) used to swim to my side of the bowl when I walked into the room.
Mikey will listen to Dale and Marcus, my hubby and son, but when Ihe hears my voice, they disappear. He understands that Dale and Marcus are ahead of him in the pack, but I am the pack leader.
Go ahead, say it: I am the Alpha Bitch.
If Peri had a dog, she would definitely be the alpha bitch, but I doubt she'd like a dog as attached to her as Mikey is to me.
Every morning, he waits for me to get up and let him out to go pee. Dale gets up earlier, and I know the dog would like to relieve his full bladder, but he stays by my side of the bed until I stir. I imagine what he might say if he could talk-
"Thanks, sir, no, I'll wait for HER. SHE'S the only one who can open the patio door the way I like it. SHE pours the dog food into my bowl JUST RIGHT."
Actually, if he could talk, he'd probably say, "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"
Being worshipped has its downside. I cannot go anywhere in the house alone. Hell, I can't go anywhere in a room alone. If I am in the kitchen and I walk to the stove, Mikey follows me to the stove. If I walk to the table, he follows me to the table. It's like having a growth on my calf muscle. I can even hear his toenails clicking impatiently while I'm in the bathroom. This is only slightly better than when Marcus was a toddler and would wiggle his fingers under the door ("Mom? Are you there, Mom? What are you doing?")
The one thing he might love more than me is food. The only two things he won't eat are the stems of collard greens, which are too tough, and raw mushrooms. He loves grapes, apples, broccoli, carrots, and I've seen him dive for cilantro I've dropped on the floor. Once, he dug through my gym bag and either ate a baggie of Echinacea or vitamins. I know he was very perky for the rest of the day.
The funniest thing he ever did in the name of food was when I walked into the dining room and found him on top of the table, eating cookies. Picture it, people: a corgi has gotten on top of a dining table. What the-? Did he fly?
Turns out, someone had left a chair pushed out.
After a lifetime of finishing whatever Marcus left on his plate within the dog's reach, Mikey finally had a bout of pancreatitis (I think it was that large helping of birthday cake and ice cream) that put him on the low-fat, low-calorie bandwagon. Every day he gets 2/3 cup of dry, diet kibble.
If I had to eat that, and only that, every day, I'd kill someone.
As much as MIkey can annoy me, I still love him. (There's a crack here I could make about my hubby, but I'll resist.) He's already 10 years old, and a little gimpy in one shoulder. I'll weep like a baby when he goes, and I'll have to get another one, not to "replace" him, but to pet and lead and bond with and gather more stories about.
Now it's your turn: what's the most annoying, funny thing your loving, adorable pet has ever done?
