That time of the month - the end!

To finish this month's constant yapping, I'm going to complete my interview with Peri, conducted one early Sunday morning in her office.

GC: Should we talk about your love life?

Peri: If we don't who will? (laughs) I've been dating Skip Carlton for, um, about 6 years now.

GC: Wow, six years is a long time.

Peri: I know what you're thinking. It's what everyone else is thinking. Six years and no marriage? Skip wants to, but I don't. I've been married three times, so for me, it's kinda "been there, done that, got the t-shirt."

GC: So, it doesn't sound like marriage is for you?

Peri: Not really. My first husband was in the Navy, a nice guy but we were both too young and it was probably more about the physical attraction than anything else. I tried to pick the second husband based more on what we had in common.

GC: What happened there?

Peri: We were both college graduates, Protestant, liked classic rock and and old movies. We differed in only one way - he liked being a sociopath. Me, not so much.

GC: Ew. And the third?

Peri: Brilliant, funny, gorgeous, kind, generous. Unfortunately, a year into the marriage he figured out he's gay.

GC: Whoa, that would have been nice to know earlier.

Peri: Ya think? Anyway, I like the way things are now. Skip and I spend a lot of time together, but we both have our own places, so when things get too tense, we can go to our corners and cool off.

GC: How's Skip taking this change of careers?

Peri: Ha, speaking of things getting tense. He tries to act nonchalant, but I know it makes him nervous. Even though I'm doing background checks and surveillance, he worries about me. Now he knows how it feels.

GC: Because he's a cop? Does Placentia have a lot of crime?

Peri: No, but he carries a gun, other people carry guns. Chances are good, sooner or later they'll meet up.

GC: So let's talk about your career. Why did you get into private investigation?

Peri: I was a successful housecleaner for years. I did private residences, offices, you name it. Didn't make me rich, but I could afford to buy a little house, take a few vacations. When I turned 45, I started thinking about how long I'd have to work before I could retire, and I pictured myself at 60, on my knees several times a day, scrubbing bathtubs. I'm in good health, but what if I had back or joint problems?

My friend, Blanche, always teased me about figuring out everyone's secrets just from emptying their trash. Then, when the Franks' son went missing, I kind of helped with that investigation (Gayle's note: see Missing). It made me think I could make a living doing something that didn't involve bleach and rubber gloves – as a rule.

GC: Now that you've been doing it for awhile, how do you like being a private eye?

Peri: Sitting in my car with a camera sure beats schlepping garbage, although I'm hoping not every case is as dangerous as my last surveillance job (Gayle's note: see Freezer Burn).

GC: Thank you for your time, Peri, and good luck with the new business!

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Just because I won't be doing a blog a day doesn't mean I won't be blahging any more. I'll try to get 2-3 good posts up per week, so stay tuned.

Peri's first interview

Since the whole point of the Blog-A-Day challenge is to see I've got the chops to do a whole big blah-g book tour, I thought I'd try out one of the things I've seen other authors do when they visit other sites. They interview their characters, so I'm going to interview Peri Minneopa, my protagonist of Freezer Burn.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Due to our hectic schedules, Peri and I decide to meet in her office on Sunday morning. She rents a small space on the first floor of the Founders Plaza. It's sparsely furnished and decorated, but the back wall is a floor-to-ceiling window, overlooking the atrium. Peri stands up from behind her desk to greet me. She's about half a foot taller than me, with cornsilk blonde hair, and she's wearing khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt over a blue tank top that matches her eyes. She offers her hand to shake and I put a cup of coffee in it.

Peri: (laughing) How did you know?

GC: It's seven in the morning. Who doesn't need coffee?

We sit down, take deep sips of caffeine, and begin.

GC: Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?

Peri: Well, I was born in Spreckles, California, which is next door to Salinas. My parents moved to California from Minnesota when they got married.

GC: Why?

Peri: My folks were kind of beatniks, I guess. Early hippies. They had this idea of moving to a farm community to "get back to the land." So we lived in this rented farm house on about ten acres where my dad was always trying to raise things.

GC: What did he raise?

Peri: My mom's blood pressure, mostly. You know that joke about the new farmer who can't raise chickens? "Either I'm burying 'em too deep or watering 'em too much." That was Dad. Good thing he figured out he couldn't do it for a living – he got a job as a banker so he could play farmer on the weekends.

GC: And your mom?

Peri: She was probably the true beatnik. Dyed her own cloth, made clothes and sold them at the farmer's market.

GC: Tell us how you got into housecleaning as a career?

Peri: Well, it all started because my parents wanted me to go to UC Berkley and I wanted to go to UCLA, which meant I went to UCLA on my own dime. I had some scholarships, but I earned the rest of the way working for a housecleaning company. Once I got my Bachelors in English Lit, I worked for a couple of years writing ad copy, then went back to cleaning.

GC: I heard there was a pretty interesting story about your transition back to housecleaning.

Peri: (laughing) Oh, that. I was working for a pig of a boss for this ad agency, and I really hated it. The ad men thought that grammatical errors and misspelled words are really great gimmicks for selling a product, so I had to write the accompanying copy for some really stupid slogans. One day, Pig Boss came to my desk and threw my latest write-up at me, yelling because I had tried to write something meaningful about some snack food with the slogan, "It Tastes Gooder."

He screams at me, "I don't want your damned two-dollar words. Write it like a five-year old with learning disabilities."

I stood up – I was much taller than him – and kinda leaned over him a little. "You want a five-year old?" I took my cup of orange juice, poured it on his head and told him, "I quit, ya big butthead." Then I stuck my tongue out at him and left.

At that point, I decided to open my own housecleaning business. I still had my list of clients, and they were really happy to see me return, so it all worked out.

Tune in tomorrow for a discussion of Peri's marital mishaps, and what got her into private investigating.

The days of whines and jeezes

J.A. Konrath, who writes the Jack Daniels series, once described his writing style as (I'm paraphrasing here), "I give my main character a goal. Then I throw every obstacle I can think of at them to keep them from reaching that goal."

I think this describes most stories. The protagonist must have something they want, even if it's just to be left alone. And the author must spend the entire tale trying to keep them from getting it.

My main gal, Peri, wants to do low-risk investigations, like background checks and surveillance. You know, hunt around on the Internet and in libraries, sit in her car with a camera, easy stuff. Of course, that would make a pretty dull book. "Peri turned in her reports, went home and had a dirty martini, and they all lived happily ever after." The only thing to make that worse is if Peri never worried about her bills, her age, or her ability to buy Grey Goose vodka. Bo-ring.

And yet, as much as I like to read books with a quick pace and constant turmoil, I'd like my life to resemble the unsellable plot I've described above. No worries, no conflicts, happily ever after.

Today, however, I don't get my wish. I'm juggling three different events for my son's choir, worrying about the lack of sign-ups for summer horse camp, and trying to figure out how to squeeze a week's worth of travel to see my family in Illinois into our summer schedule. I thought I had a nice 8-day time frame worked out, when my husband said he needed to be back a day earlier and my son needs to be back two days before that.

Oh, yeah, and there's the book launch party, my publicity and marketing plans (am I missing an opportunity? Ack!), and I should be working on the next book.

So, in honor of today's resemblance to a soap opera plot, I'm naming this Whine and Jeez Friday. Please feel free to post your latest whine, about your life, your writing, your career, your kids, your pets, your landlord, your spouse...

I'm listening.

The moment I've been waiting for could wait a moment longer.

For those of you who are published authors and have been down this road before, I ask for some indulgence of my wide-eyed innocence.

Before Freezer Burn was published, it was read by lots of people, in bits and pieces. Agents looked at it; so did editors, publishers, and other writers. I listened to the critiques carefully, applied the rule of three when I wasn't certain about a change (get the same comment from three independent sources), and tried to lock my ego in the cabinet when someone's opinion rubbed me like sandpaper.

Now that my work is done and between covers, I feel confident that I've told a fun story in an entertaining way. Could it be improved? Probably. Is there truly a book out there without flaw? (Let's leave sacred writings out of that question, for tolerance's sake.) My philosophy is this: If you like my book, read it. If you don't, put it down. And God grant me the serenity to ignore the reviews.

Which brings me to my wide-eyed ignorance:

You see, I already have some pre-release copies of my book, a few of which I've sent to people for favorable blurbs (I've already told them that, if they don't like my book, silence is golden - please don't try to spin, "it made me want to throw up in my mouth" into glowing praise). In addition, although I'm having a launch party in July, some of my friends want to read the book ahead of the party, so I've been selling them copies.

There's my problem. I heard from one of my friends, who hasn't finished my book, but who knows two other friends who did. She said the other two thought it was funny that I never described Peri in the book.

Huh?

On page 12, she bends her tall frame to look into a freezer, remarking that it's 50 years old, like her. On page 28, she fluffs her Nordic blonde hair. On page 186, she points to her freckled arm and describes her parents as very blond and Viking… I could continue, but you see what this did to me? I was certain that I had described enough of Peri to make her flesh and blood, and equally certain that no one else ever mentioned that before.

But it gets worse. My friend then relayed the information that one of the other gals "had notes." Notes?

"She's very literary," my friend said. "Don't you want to know how to make your next book stronger, if you plan to make a living doing this?"

Good thing I subscribe to WWPD?* I knew just how to reply.

"No. I know where to go when I want a critique. All I want from friends and family is adulation. If you read it and like it, tell me. If you read it and don't like it, shut the hell up. If you don't want to read it under those conditions, don't read it at all."

Too harsh?

I spent the rest of the day in a foul mood, wondering why some people think it's their unsolicited business to improve the way I do things.

I was still trying to shake it off when I got this email from Gordon Kirkland, one of my reviewers, an author who has won Canada's Stephen Leacock Award of Merit for Humour three times, and a writer I respect:

"I just finished reading an advance copy of Gayle’s first novel, Freezer Burn, a mystery with Gayle’s unique comedic voice spread all over it. It brings together a rather odd group of characters, with a couple of strange bodies thrown in for good measure.

I won’t give the plot away, other than to say it twists and turns like a highway designed by a drunken surveyor.

It makes a great summer read!"

In case you're wondering, we had a little online chat last night, where he told me he truly did like my book, mentioned a couple of the subplots in particular, and had no notes for me. So if nothing else, I learned yesterday not to read reviews, and that Gordon likes me! He really likes me!

*WWPD? = What Would Peri Do?

It's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the ego

In the last half of my interview with Marsha Toy Engstrom, Book Club Cheerleader Extraordinaire, we discuss what happens when a good book club goes bad, plus, what's on the horizon for our Pom Pom Queen.

Did you ever have a disappointing session with a book or club members?
One time the group chose a book that no one liked. We found it sophomoric, shallow, and basically not worthy of reading. Not wanting to waste our discussion time together, we took the book’s theme—college campuses—and turned our discussion into a more personal girls’ chat about our own college experiences. We talked of life lessons, lost loves, and our own coming of age stories. It was a discussion that brought up a lot of funny anecdotes, and some surprises (You streaked where?) and helped us see a different side of our fellow group members. Many members have commented that they believe this meeting had a strong impact toward bringing our group closer together.

How do you recover from a toxic group?
I’ve heard of—but fortunately have never experienced—a downright toxic group session. Not to say that all meetings I’ve ever attended have been sunshine and roses. When a group builds a safe environment, true disagreement and different perspectives are not only tolerated, but encouraged. The varying opinions make for a rich discussion. That’s why many reading groups love to discuss controversial books—such as those written by Jodi Picoult. The key is to maintain respect for the differing opinions. A club can outlaw personal attacks in their Code of Conduct by writing a ground rule something like, “Focus on the issue, not the person.” I have been in groups in which the conflict caused more tension than was truly healthy. In those cases, the facilitator or another group member can simply remind offending members of the ground rules, and reassure them that they are encouraged to state their own opinion as long as they don’t belittle or disrespect another person’s opinion. Conflict—done properly—should encourage better dialogue, thinking, and understanding. Those are all critical to a winning book club. ‘Group-think’ is a Glamour ‘Don’t’!

Will there be a Book Club Cheerleader book out someday to help us boring people?
I am working on a book—its working title is Celebrating Book Clubs: The Book Club Cheerleader’s Guide to Building a Winning Book Club. But it’s not to help “the boring.” Like my website, it is designed to help book clubs maximize the energy they already have in their groups by allowing them to focus on the three aspects of The People, The Fun, and The Book. Many groups focus only on The Book. But I’ve seen too many book clubs fizzle out before their time because they didn’t pay attention to the group dynamics of their club.

Like my website, Celebrating Book Clubs will give readers tips to take care of their fellow members by making them feel important and involved, and teach groups some techniques for making better group decisions. It will also give book clubs ideas for fun activities and games, while keeping the book as the center of their celebration. One chapter will walk new book clubbers through holding their first meeting, while another chapter will give reading groups some turn-key party productions that are ready to be plucked from the book (for those with less time or energy.) But readers can also use these ideas simply as jumping platforms to prime the pump of their own creativity.

When you read a book do you need:
- a likeable protagonist?
I used to believe that if you could not like the main character, the book had no chance of holding your attention. However, I’ve found—at least for myself—that if the author can make you have some sympathy or respect for the protagonist, you don’t necessarily have to like him or her personally. For example, when our group read Five Quarters of the Orange by Joanne Harris, I did not like Framboise, the main character. I found her gruff, self-centered, and unfriendly. However, Ms. Harris was able to help me see Framboise’s side of the issues, so that even if I did not agree with her, I could understand her. So I guess the real issue is that a skilled writer can work wonders—and Joanne is a master at her craft!

- a great opening line?
Everyone loves a great opening line—but that doesn’t necessarily make the rest of the book great. Remembering Nancy Pearl’s “50-page rule”, the author needs to hook you—not just in the opening line—but in the opening chapters. That being said, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity… " Now Dickens knew how to write a brilliant opening line—and back it up with a great book!

- the promise of hot sex scenes?
I remember reading Lady Chatterley’s Lover in college and thinking it was even hotter than Rosemary Rogers’s latest offering. Looking back, I realize, rather than reading great literature, I was enjoying a stand-in romance with a novel between real boyfriends. I now laugh at the Literary Review’s “Bad Sex in Fiction Award”—since that could’ve been my college major! Apparently, Auberon Waugh established this award "with the aim of gently dissuading authors and publishers from including unconvincing, perfunctory, embarrassing or redundant passages of a sexual nature in otherwise sound literary novels." I guess that last portion of the passage, “otherwise sound literary novel” can take out a bit of the sting for those authors who ‘win’ the award. Surprisingly this has included such household names as John Updike, Thomas Wolfe, and Norman Mailer. The former won for ‘lifetime achievement.’

So, what I believe makes an ideal book club read is a creative, well-written story (Fiction or Nonfiction) with character development, conflict and tension, controversial subjects, and a plot that moves appropriately forward (without either dragging or racing). If you find such a gem—please let me know! (Gayle's note: Try Freezer Burn!) For a list of my book club favorites, please check out the bottom of the Celebrating Books page at http://www.bookclubcheerleader.com/celebrating.books.html

Rah, Rah, Reading!

Rah, Rah, exactly, Marsha! Good luck spreading your message, "They come for the Book, they stay for the Fun, and they leave if you screw up the People part."