Boo!

This is just a brief post in honor of Halloween, to ask:

Who's your scariest monster?

Are you old school, and find this guy gives you the willies?

Or maybe you need someone a little more hardcore…

This guy seems to garner his share of scares (there's even a phobia named after him, I think).

As for myself, I'm not normally frightened by the monsters themselves, when they're not in context, as in, ripping an innocent victim's heart out and feeding it to the other innocent soon-to-be-victim. So many of our movie monsters have been parodied, to the point where, even if I was frightened, now I see the absurd humor. ("Freddy, seriously, ever think of plastic surgery for all that acne scarring?")

However, I was in Mo's Music in Fullerton this Thursday, where my son takes guitar lessons. Mo's loves to decorate for all the holidays. They had witches and ghosts and spooky stuff, but this made me run screaming:

That's right. It's Pumpkin-Head Matron. You see, a long time ago, there was a soccer mom who bought some miniature candy bars to give out for Halloween. Every time a group of trick-or-treaters came to the door, she'd give a few pieces of chocolate away, then she'd have one for herself. Or two. As the evening progressed, she doled out ONE bar to EACH child, then had three or four to herself.

The next morning, when she woke from her sugar-induced coma, she stumbled to the mirror and discovered - TA DA TAAAAAA -

She'd lost her waist and grown a pumpkin head!!!

Be afraid. Be very afraid.