Talkin' bout the big man

I confess, Frankenstein never frightened me as much as Dracula or the Wolfman or even the Blob. Yeah, he's big and strong and ugly, but I can totally outrun him, at least in the movie version.

When I read Mary Shelley's story, I now look back at that 1931 classic and think, "How did they come up with that choice?" I mean, this walking log is a far cry from Shelley's very agile monster.




When I read the novel, it was a lot scarier than any of the movies, mainly because the young doctor is relentless in his desire to create a human being, and doesn't stop to think of the consequences until the being is alive. To me, this is the fearful heart of the story. Much like Michael Crichton's JURASSIC PARK, man is doing things because he can, not because he should, and chaos ensues.

Here's a piece:

* * *

No one can conceive the variety of feelings which bore me onwards, like a hurricane, in the first enthusiasm of success. Life and death appeared to me ideal bounds, which I should first break through, and pour a torrent of light into our dark world. A new species would bless me as its creator and source; many happy and excellent natures would owe their being to me.

* * *
Then, after:

* * *

I had worked hard for nearly two years, for the sole purpose of infusing life into an inanimate body. For this I had deprived myself of rest and health. I had desired it with an ardour that far exceeded moderation; but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart.

* * *

Guess we should have thought this through, huh? The book ends even more tragically than the movies. And I'm not certain who I feared more while I was reading - the monster or the doctor.

What scares you more, a monster, or a man?

When I was skimming through YouTube, I found a live clip of Edgar Winter playing "Frankenstein." It's endlessly long, but I like it for three reasons: 1) Edgar is freakishly impressive playing all those instruments, 2) everyone is pretty campy, 70s-wise, and 3) that young imp playing next to Edgar is Rick Derringer.




I don't know why I get a kick out of this, but I do.

A stitch in time

Of all the literary and movie monsters, this guy never frightened me.

First of all, it's not like he could sneak up on you. Not only is he bigger than Andre the Giant, he wears hobnail boots. Do you know how noisy those things are?

Secondly, I could totally outrun him, even in my highest heels.

I did love the book, however, for its unflinching view of scientists who rush forward to prove their theory, without thinking whether it is the good and moral thing to do. The consequences in the book serve as testament to how much we can screw up this life by trying to 'improve' upon it.

If Frankenstein wasn't scary to me, at least he was useful to my funny bone.



Yeah, I love me some Mel Brooks. Gene Wilder was simply adorable in this movie, and everyone else played their parts so well. This movie deserved an Oscar, dammit!

I'm throwing in one more character, just as a counterpoint to Mary Shelley's bleak vision. Sometimes scientists get it right - if they happen to live in Halloweentown.

Boo!

This is just a brief post in honor of Halloween, to ask:

Who's your scariest monster?

Are you old school, and find this guy gives you the willies?

Or maybe you need someone a little more hardcore…

This guy seems to garner his share of scares (there's even a phobia named after him, I think).

As for myself, I'm not normally frightened by the monsters themselves, when they're not in context, as in, ripping an innocent victim's heart out and feeding it to the other innocent soon-to-be-victim. So many of our movie monsters have been parodied, to the point where, even if I was frightened, now I see the absurd humor. ("Freddy, seriously, ever think of plastic surgery for all that acne scarring?")

However, I was in Mo's Music in Fullerton this Thursday, where my son takes guitar lessons. Mo's loves to decorate for all the holidays. They had witches and ghosts and spooky stuff, but this made me run screaming:

That's right. It's Pumpkin-Head Matron. You see, a long time ago, there was a soccer mom who bought some miniature candy bars to give out for Halloween. Every time a group of trick-or-treaters came to the door, she'd give a few pieces of chocolate away, then she'd have one for herself. Or two. As the evening progressed, she doled out ONE bar to EACH child, then had three or four to herself.

The next morning, when she woke from her sugar-induced coma, she stumbled to the mirror and discovered - TA DA TAAAAAA -

She'd lost her waist and grown a pumpkin head!!!

Be afraid. Be very afraid.