Survival of the fittest. Or the most hydrated.

I was prepared for the Placentia Heritage Festival. I had my booth layout calculated and rehearsed. I had a cute and cool outfit to wear for the anticipated 96-degree heat. I had my cowboy hat with the tiara on it to keep the sun off my face during the parade.

What I wasn't prepared for was that the weatherman was slightly wrong. It wasn't a 96-degree day. It was 107 degrees. 

That kind of heat is all kinds of trouble. It started with the parade. We had a record number of marching bands, 30 of them, filing past the reviewing stand to be judged. It's important to these schools, so they want to look and sound their best. 

Guess what happens when you dress teenagers in polyester and wool and hand them tubas to play in 107-degree heat? By the time the fourth ambulance went screaming by, they cancelled the parade and shuffled us down to the park.

My booth was ready and waiting, staffed by my trusty assistant, Marcus. I'm usually over there by 11 a.m., but with all the bodies fainting in the parade, I didn't arrive until noon. At least the booth looked good, and several people had come by to reserve their books. They returned, so I could sign their purchases.

Even Dino showed up.

I'd like to say that the heat wasn't an issue, but it was brutal and relentless. My cute and cool outfit was drenched, which didn't matter since there were very few people even wandering by the booth. I did have a few people come out to see me, which I appreciated beyond words. Thank you, Rick and Linda Ochocki, Kathy Abell, Michelle, Pat, Stephen Connell, Dan and Cathy Lekawa, and probably a few more that I can't remember due to my own personal heatstroke.

My Sister-in-Crime Right-Hand Gal Pal, Pat Broeske endured the heat!

Michelle Knowlden, local OC author extraordinaire, stopped by!

At the end of the day (which came early, because the organizers realized we were in a dress rehearsal for hell), I did sell a number of books. However, I didn't give away nearly enough of the prizes. Of my 6 baskets, I only gave three away. One of them will remain in my heart forever.

Just as the staff was announcing that we'd be closing an hour early, I spotted a familiar face at my booth. An older lady, named Penny, whom I'd met years ago at our Concerts in the Park, came by. She was shocked and thrilled that I remembered her name.

As we talked, I learned the years had been unkind to my friend. Now 76, she had a stroke last year, and was semi-dependent upon wearing an oxygen mask. I was actually worried that she would overheat. She told me that she still read my column every week.

I smiled and grabbed one of my baskets. "You know what you need?" I told her. "A prize for being my favorite reader."

She was over-the-moon happy. Did she buy anything? No. Do I care? No. I care that she enjoys her life, and if I can help, I'm happy to do it.

I packed up and headed home, where I slept for two days, due to heat exhaustion, I believe. Next year, we're all wearing t-shirts with this on them:

People are now asking when my new books will be available as ebooks. You can expect them on or before Halloween. Stay tuned, but in the meantime, you can pick up a paperback from Amazon, B&N, or any independent bookstore.

What did they mean when they said...?

This weekend was not nearly as spectacular as last weekend at the Placentia Library, but I got a little work done, which is always a good thing.

1. I worked a bit on the new book. My mechanic, Allen, gave me an interesting way to tamper with the tire on Peri's car so it goes flat after about a mile, without letting Peri suspect it was sabotaged. I'm thinking of giving him a small part in the book. He's quite a character.

2. I re-did the "Where's Gayle?" page of my website, so that I have actual calendar pages with events listed and links to those events. I think it's easier to find things, although I'm now thinking I should work on it a little more so you can go directly to a month, instead of scrolling through January to get to April. Of course, I'm assuming that anyone wants to know where I am, which may be a great leap of ego on my part.

3. I added a page to my author pages to list some of the very kind reviews from folks about Freezer Burn, which brings me to my question(s) of the day…

As a book reader, how important are reviews to you? And, in keeping with that theme, how important is the source of the review?

Here's the thing: I'm getting really nice reviews from people. Some of them are from "professional" book reviewers who've posted on Amazon and other places. I have a lovely review from my friend and humor-mentor, Gordon Kirkland, and one from the delightful Mr. Dino Martin Peters on his I Love Dino Martin blog. And then I have some great reviews from regular Joes (and Janes), if you will.

Does a review only matter if it's from Publisher's Weekly or an incredibly famous person? I mean, if the debut author happens to know a reviewer on the PW staff, or the incredibly famous person, and asks for a review, they're probably going to get, at the very least, an ambiguously nice one. "A well-written thriller from a promising new novelist" doesn't sound like wild applause to me.

Then there are the reviewers (famous and not-so-much) who don't post reviews if they didn't like the book. This is fine, except there's no way to mark a book "not reviewed by X", because if there was, it would automatically be known they didn't like it. When I see 5 stars from a reviewer on all of their reviews, I start to wonder if they like everything, have no taste in reading material, or are paid for their opinion.

Or does it carry more weight if Joe Schmo says, "What a great story"? Unless I'm related to Uncle Schmo, or his best buddy, shouldn't a reader who doesn't owe me diddley-squat carry more weight than another writer? Especially another writer who may want me to return the favor.

Let's say you go into a bookstore, just looking for new reading material. You see a cover that catches your eye. You read the jacket blurb and find the plot intriguing. Maybe you read the first page, or perhaps give it the "page 99 test" - is Page 99 as fascinating as Page 1? Is there any point in there where you read any review blurbs on the book? And do the reviews actually influence you?

By contrast, maybe it's two a.m. and you can't sleep so you're shopping on Amazon for a different author in a genre you like. Without Page 99, how important are the reviews?

Tell me what draws you to a book as a reader. Then, next, I have some questions for writers.

It's a long way to the top - if you wanna launch a book.

List of things to do:
1. Clean house. Check.
2. Order caterer (Bedazzled is great). Check.
3. Decide what to do at Backs Community Building. Ch-ch-check.
4. Buy the stuff for the Backs Building. Check.
5. Have book launch party. Check, check, and check.

Okay, got that off my list. Now what?

Just joking. Planning and holding a book launch party is so much more than making a list. In all, there were a dozen lists made. Lists of what to buy, lists of what to do, lists of who to call, and lists of what order the buying/doing/calling needed to be done.

Yes, lists like this.

Of course, Life had to stick its nose into the middle of all my beautiful plans. First was the trip to Decatur. It's a requirement, according to my hubby, that we visit my family every other year. We managed to squeeze in five days the week before my book launch party. While we were eating Krekel's burgers and admiring the Chicken Car, I made a few phone calls, faxed some forms, and made more lists.

When we returned home, our dog, Mikey, was under the weather. Six hundred dollars and two days' of tests later, the vet determined he's "borderline" with Cushing's disease. "Borderline" means they don’t want to give him meds; just bring him back in six months for more blood tests. Great.

Then there was the email from my newspaper publisher. "Hello, sorry to do this to you, I know we just did this earlier this year, but I don't know if it got lost or what, but the accountants that be are saying we need a new contract with you. Here is the one I had you sign earlier, will you resign it and mail it in really quick. They said I can't run you column again until I get it."

Translation: print the contract, sign it and run it down to the Anaheim office so I can continue getting paid.

As I put out fires and checked off lists, The Big Day kept getting closer. I had the room layout complete, contests and raffle organized, and displays ready, but I still had no idea what I was doing that day, apart from (hopefully) selling books. On Thursday, I read Brett Battles blog and commented to him that I was stressed and clueless. His response was perfect: "…please don't judge my launch party with what is the norm to do. I have no idea either, and just wing it, too. Ultimately it doesn't matter. As long as you're happy...it's your party after all!"

I relaxed, and decided to give a brief talk, which I practiced while I was cleaning my house… and cleaning… and cleaning.

When the actual day arrived, my friend (and partner in crime) Robin Reichelt came over to help me. With my son, Marcus, and her son, Ryan, we decorated the Backs Community Building Main Room, and waited for 2:30. Suddenly -

IT WAS TIME FOR A BOOK LAUNCH!

Lots of people showed up, from friends and family to people who read my column. Among the highlights:

The column folk were great fun, wanting me to introduce them to Marcus and asking me if he gets hassled about being in my column so much.

My friend, Ken Niediger (and his lovely wife, Colleen) took tons of pictures, which I'll post as soon as I get them.

Dean Martin showed up for a photo op.

I never grow tired of autographing my book!

I'll be posting more about the event in a couple of days, after I've had time to sleep and process it all more. But let me just say - this whole book thing just gets better and better!

What a character

Before I tried writing an entire novel, I used to listen to authors talk about their characters as if they were real people, and I admit, I wanted to smile and nod while I slowly backed out of the room. I mean, at the very least they sounded a little too precious to hold a serious conversation. And some of them sounded plain old-fashioned nuts.

And then I wrote a novel. I began with good intentions and a basic plotline: a young, shy girl hits the road, grows up, and finds her spunkiness. It could be fun, or literary, or even literary fun.

I created a girl, Beth, who has a domineering mother, a libertine for a boyfriend, and an unsatisfying job. I thought these elements would naturally force her to leave town and allow her to blossom on the road. Except that Beth proved to be too passive. I had to practically burn down her house to get her out of town. I tried to get her anger up, to give her some righteous indignation over being micro-managed by her mother, ignored by her father, and casually cheated on by her boyfriend, but every time I tried to put words in her mouth, they sounded false. The only way her voice was true was when it was passive, denying that things were as bad as all that.

Once she hit the road, her car broke down in Amarillo (she was traveling from Illinois). My plan was for her to stop in a town I knew. I don't know Amarillo. I've visited there exactly once - my family drove into town at 10 p.m., got up the next day and visited the American Quarter Horse Museum, ate breakfast at Cracker Barrel and hit the road. I thought perhaps she could wrangle a different car and continue on the road. But Beth is no wrangler. She accepts whatever is offered, and what is offered is a waitressing job. So now I'm stuck in a strange city.

I kept trying to force Beth to grow a backbone, and leave Amarillo. But the words were forced, false, wasted. Instead of leaving for Taos at the end of the book, she falls in love with a cowboy, a character I hadn't even created when the book began.

It took me 90,000 words, but I finally learned my lesson. Your characters are real people, in that, once you set up their personality and their history and their basic parameters, there are physical laws you must obey in their actions and dialogue. Beth could not change as completely as I wanted her to, because she was shy and passive and damaged by her upbringing. A couple of weeks in Amarillo would not bring out her spunk.

This was a good lesson to learn when I started writing Freezer Burn. Benny Needles began life as a seedy, slimy, little man with no redemptive qualities. He hires Peri (my protagonist) to find his Dean Martin-autographed ice cube tray. I even toyed with making him a serial killer. But once he started interacting with Peri and the police, he took on a more human form. He became an OCD personality who is a rabid Dino fan. He was suddenly misunderstood, a social outcast who was basically a sweet guy. He may or may not have killed someone (not to spoil the plot), but he's not the sleazebag I envisioned. Seeing him evolve that way meant I had to re-visit the first part of the book to soften my description of him, and Peri's early responses to his requests.

But it was okay now. I was able to accept these characters as real people and adjust the story to their true natures.

For any of you who are writers - is this a common occurrence, or have you already slowly backed out of the room, nodding and smiling at me?

A slight detour to these posts

I wanted to use this blog to talk about the writing process in general, but today I need to cross-pollinate a bit and talk about my book specifically.

My editor told me that the tentative release date for my book is April 2009. Eek! Six months away! One of the things I have to figure out is my launch party - mostly, a place and a theme. As far as a place, I’ve got some ideas, but a theme? I may need some suggestions in that department.

Here are some of the main elements of the story:

1. Peri (my P.I.) used to clean houses for a living.
2. Her favorite drink is a dirty martini with four olives.
3. Her client is a Dean Martin fanatic.
4. The case revolves around a severed hand and a famous piece of jewelry, called ‘The Forever Roses’ ring, because the biggest diamond has been cut so its facets look like rose petals.

Now, what do I do with these ingredients?