Survival of the fittest. Or the most hydrated.

I was prepared for the Placentia Heritage Festival. I had my booth layout calculated and rehearsed. I had a cute and cool outfit to wear for the anticipated 96-degree heat. I had my cowboy hat with the tiara on it to keep the sun off my face during the parade.

What I wasn't prepared for was that the weatherman was slightly wrong. It wasn't a 96-degree day. It was 107 degrees. 

That kind of heat is all kinds of trouble. It started with the parade. We had a record number of marching bands, 30 of them, filing past the reviewing stand to be judged. It's important to these schools, so they want to look and sound their best. 

Guess what happens when you dress teenagers in polyester and wool and hand them tubas to play in 107-degree heat? By the time the fourth ambulance went screaming by, they cancelled the parade and shuffled us down to the park.

My booth was ready and waiting, staffed by my trusty assistant, Marcus. I'm usually over there by 11 a.m., but with all the bodies fainting in the parade, I didn't arrive until noon. At least the booth looked good, and several people had come by to reserve their books. They returned, so I could sign their purchases.

Even Dino showed up.

I'd like to say that the heat wasn't an issue, but it was brutal and relentless. My cute and cool outfit was drenched, which didn't matter since there were very few people even wandering by the booth. I did have a few people come out to see me, which I appreciated beyond words. Thank you, Rick and Linda Ochocki, Kathy Abell, Michelle, Pat, Stephen Connell, Dan and Cathy Lekawa, and probably a few more that I can't remember due to my own personal heatstroke.

My Sister-in-Crime Right-Hand Gal Pal, Pat Broeske endured the heat!

Michelle Knowlden, local OC author extraordinaire, stopped by!

At the end of the day (which came early, because the organizers realized we were in a dress rehearsal for hell), I did sell a number of books. However, I didn't give away nearly enough of the prizes. Of my 6 baskets, I only gave three away. One of them will remain in my heart forever.

Just as the staff was announcing that we'd be closing an hour early, I spotted a familiar face at my booth. An older lady, named Penny, whom I'd met years ago at our Concerts in the Park, came by. She was shocked and thrilled that I remembered her name.

As we talked, I learned the years had been unkind to my friend. Now 76, she had a stroke last year, and was semi-dependent upon wearing an oxygen mask. I was actually worried that she would overheat. She told me that she still read my column every week.

I smiled and grabbed one of my baskets. "You know what you need?" I told her. "A prize for being my favorite reader."

She was over-the-moon happy. Did she buy anything? No. Do I care? No. I care that she enjoys her life, and if I can help, I'm happy to do it.

I packed up and headed home, where I slept for two days, due to heat exhaustion, I believe. Next year, we're all wearing t-shirts with this on them:

People are now asking when my new books will be available as ebooks. You can expect them on or before Halloween. Stay tuned, but in the meantime, you can pick up a paperback from Amazon, B&N, or any independent bookstore.

The recap so far.

I've been plugging my whirlwind life recently. I'd feel bad about this, in that "what kind of narcissist are you?" way, except that I've been plugging the events that I think other people would enjoy attending. 

It's not exactly my fault that I'm going to them, too.

So how did everything go, you may ask. Seriously. You have my permission to ask that.

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WRITERS CONFERENCE - LA:

As usual, this was a fun weekend of talking about writing, learning about writing, and laughing about everything. I seemed to have picked up a bad habit - the day of the conference, I came down with a cold. In San Diego, I did the same thing. Each time, I sounded worse than I felt, but sounding worse meant that I practically lost my voice.

Helpful hint: Losing your voice when you have to teach a workshop or two is not a good way to spend a weekend.

My most vivid memory of San Diego is having to teach public speaking at the very last workshop of the very last day. Dearest woman Laura Taylor bustled into the workshop with a tray of herbal tea with lots of lemon and honey. It was like pulling the thorn from my paw. I will adore her forever.

At Irvine, my survival instinct took over, which meant I did not get to close down the bar with my tribe every night. But I did get to spend a little time, here and there, with some of my pals. My workshops went very well. At least, the participants told me they liked it. I hope they're not privately emailing (SCWC director) Michael Steven Gregory and saying, "Please stop her."

I sat in a couple of workshops that taught me a lot. Both were about leaving the worry about plotting behind and Just. Writing. Suzanne Redfearn taught "Pantsers: Keep the Creativity Flowing" and I loved her exhortation to not worry so much about where you think the story HAS to go, and let your characters take you where they NEED to go. We did some writing exercises in her class that were fun and freeing.

Then I was pleasantly surprised in Jeff Michael's class, "Write from the Heart." He discussed The Muse and Her role in our writing. I've always struggled with the middle of my books, and as he spoke, I realized that my Muse tends to feed me inspiration for the first part of my book, and the last part. I see the scenes setting up the story, as well as the end. But in the middle, She seems to abandon me to go shoe shopping.

"Oooh, pretty, shiny," said Whimsie, Gayle's Muse

I have to say, I admire her style.

So I asked Jeff to discuss it, and he had a lot of helpful things to say in class. Afterward, we sat down to lunch and discussed it further. We were joined by his wife, Jill, of course, and our good friend and ultra-entrepreneur, Garrett Miller. Jeff had some excellent suggestions for making certain that my second act is true and necessary and worth the read. 

As always, I told him how thankful I was for his kindness, as well as to Jill and Garrett for their indulgence. Take note, folks. Always show gratitude. It costs nothing and its value is priceless. 

And in case you want to get in on the fun, the San Diego conference is in February. Go here to learn more - http://writersconference.com/sd/

On to...

LADIES OF INTRIGUE:

The good news is that it was a rousing success. We had a room full of people who met new authors and heard about Sisters in Crime. Our panels were smokin' - these women were funny, insightful, intelligent writers. And our guest speakers could not have been more engaging. 

Catriona McPherson had everyone laughing with her story of how she came to writing. I love her easy, down-to-earth personality. She's won numerous awards, and she deserves them all, and more. Honestly, her Scottish (working class, she says) accent is so entrancing, I would listen to her read the phone book. 

Carol Higgins Clark was equally charming, discussing how her mother's novels led her to her author's life. It turns out, in her teens, she typed up one of her mother's manuscripts for her. The experience was a deep memory for her, and started her on her path. She was also funny, describing how we all think she's super-famous, and yet people can't even get her name right. We may think she's super-famous, but we know she's super-fabulous.

The not-the-best news is that the event was tremendous work for all involved. I'm writing this after two glasses of wine and about five naps. Ask me more about it after another week of sleep and more wine.

WHAT'S NEXT?

What's next is an interview with Garrett Miller on his popular and fun Rated G Radio show (click here to find it - http://www.blogtalkradio.com/garrettmiller). I've been interviewed on his show before and I'm always excited and a little nervous, only because I want to be a good guest. Garrett is The Perfect Interviewer and should have his own talk show. He actually listens to your answers and asks questions from there, very much like my interview-idol, Dick Cavett. 

So tune in at 7 pm, PST, and listen to me talk about humor and books and...

My launch party at Tri-City Park on October 10th! It's the Placentia Heritage Festival, and I'll be selling my three new collections of humor columns, to honor my 10 years as a humor columnist for the Placentia News-Times. 

Come on out to the park and find my booth - I don't know where I'll be, but my canopy is bright yellow. The park festivities open around 10 a.m., but I won't be there until I've ridden in the parade. I think we get to the park around 11 or so. 

Once I get there, we will have prizes and treats and a generally fun time!

Hope to see you this Saturday!

Plugging. So. Much. Plugging.

Oy, I have so much to shout about, I've had to increase my aerobics training just to get enough lung capacity to be heard.

First: The Southern California Writer's Conference is coming soon, September 25-27 - have you signed up yet? If you haven't and you're a writer, you need to. There are workshops to help you develop your writing, workshops to help develop your pitching, and workshops to help develop your marketing. And I'll be teaching a workshop to help you decide what kind of author you want to be - traditionally published, or author-published?

Go here to register: http://writersconference.com/la/la-registration/

Seriously, go there. Right now. (Then be sure to come back!)

Second: The 2nd Annual Ladies of Intrigue is a few weeks away, on Saturday, October 3rd. It's a full day of meeting fabulous women mystery authors (sponsored by the Orange County chapter of Sisters in Crime), hearing them speak, and buying their books. There's coffee in the morning and lunch in the afternoon, all in the delightful Hotel Huntington Beach. We've got two very special guest speakers, Catriona McPherson and Carol Higgins Clark. I will be your hostess for the day, and promise some lively entertainment.

I know what you're thinking: Why do I want to go to this? I'll give you several reasons:
1. You are a voracious reader who is always looking for new authors and series to read.
2. You are active in an organization that is always looking for interesting speakers, and you want to see whether any of these authors would be a good fit for your group.
3. You are a member of Sisters in Crime (any chapter) and want to support your SinC community.
4. You are a writer who wants to know more about what kind of books are being published, and who is writing and publishing them.
5. You enjoy a fun day of mingling with other book-a-holics.

Go here to find out more about the event and the speakers: http://www.ocsistersincrime.org/LOI.htm

Go here to register: http://www.ocsistersincrime.org/LOIregistration2015.pdf

Really, I'm just begging you to attend this. It'll be all kinds of fun, and we need at least 100 people. 


THIRD (and finally): My Book Launch is coming! On Saturday, October 10, I will be launching my three new books at the Placentia Heritage Day Festival in Tri-City Park. I'll be in the booth from noon until 5 pm. What will be going on during those five hours? PLENTY!

1. All of my books (in paperback) will be on sale. They are regularly priced from $12.99 to $14.99, but on that Saturday only, they'll be priced as follows: one book = $12, two books = $20, three books = $24. Such a deal!

2. Prizes-prizes-prizes! Books and gift cards will be given out for whatever reason I see fit. I'm thinking that I'll give a prize to... the first person who tells me, "I shot a man in Reno," and maybe... the 20th visitor to my booth, and then... anyone who tags me on social media, especially with a picture. 

3. Refreshments. All book launches have refreshments, so I'll be handing out something, depending upon my time and creativity. I might serve cookies, or cupcakes, or Halloween treats, along with a drink of some sort. Sorry, it has to be non-alcoholic. 

How's that for a launch? 

Go here to see the new books and read about them: http://gaylecarline.com/whats-new/

I hope to see you SOMEWHERE soon!

Weekend fun takes stamina

This weekend is nothing but fun, fun, fun, till I collapse in a heap on Monday. Where to start?

First, let's make this about you: Because this weekend celebrates Placentia Heritage Day, Placentia being my hometown and the setting of all my Peri Minneopa Mysteries, I'm offering my three Peri books at some delightful savings. Check them out:

FREEZER BURN - Friday thru Sunday - FREE!
http://www.amazon.com/Freezer-Burn-Peri-Minneopa-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B007ZHVDN4/

HIT OR MISSUS - Saturday and Sunday - ONLY 99 CENTS!
http://www.amazon.com/Missus-Peri-Minneopa-Mystery-Book-ebook/dp/B00537SP5M/

THE HOT MESS - Saturday and Sunday - ONLY $1.99!
http://www.amazon.com/Mess-Peri-Minneopa-Mystery-Book-ebook/dp/B00AD94TDW/

Get them while they're hot.

What will I be doing in the meantime?

Saturday: I will be riding in the PHD Parade. This year, I think I'll wear my sparkly cowgirl hat instead of the tiara, but I'll still be waving like a crazy woman. Let me just add, waving is exhausting. Ever try holding your arm out, elbow bent, swinging it side to side in slo-mo, for two-and-a-half miles?

After the parade, I take my spot at my booth (look for the yellow EZ-Up) and hopefully sell a few books. More important, I hope a lot of people stop by to say hello!

In the evening, hubby and I are taking our son Marcus out to dinner, to celebrate his birthday. He's not officially 22 until Sunday, but Saturday works best for all of us.




Sunday: Our Orange County chapter of Sisters-in-Crime is meeting at Mystery Ink Bookstore in Huntington Beach to hear T. Jefferson Parker speak (or as we call him, "Jeff"). It should be a lot of fun.

If I'm not too-too exhausted yet, I plan to drive down to La Jolla in the evening to go to Noir at the Bar. Lisa Brackmann organizes these things once a month and I keep wanting to go and something else keeps getting in my way. It's not that far away... an hour and a half isn't that far, is it?

Hope you have a fabulous weekend, and if you're anywhere in the neighborhood, stop by and say hi!

It's a wonderful life

I had a great time in the Placentia Heritage Day Parade and Festival. Of course, I wore my tiara.

Our tram had our names on it, but Al Shkoler and I were the only trustees.

Clifford was there, though.

My booth looks more full of books each year!

I sold a few books, enough to make it a good day. But meeting all the people who came by to say hello made it a great day. Several people actually sought me out this year to tell me they read my column and wanted to meet me.

The best was a man named Eric. He told me he had the same kind of affinity for Fullerton that I have for Placentia, having lived there for many years and raising his sons there. When he moved to Placentia, one of his sons said, "Placentia is the kind of town where people open the garage door on Friday, pull in, close it, and you don't see them again until Monday morning."

Then he told me, "Your columns have let me get to know this town, to feel a part of it."

I would have traded all my book sales just to hear that.

* * * * *

Snoopy's book is still free on Kindle. One more day to get it! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D0HDYRQ

I need you

Not in that way.

This month, I'm trying to be more visible on the 'net, so I'm blogging each and every day. I'm also going to the Placentia Heritage Day festival to sell my books. Here is what the prep for a festival looks like:

I'm not taking the holiday horse. I'd like to find him a home.

I need some ideas. I've got these marketing items and I want to give them away and I don't know how to give them out. Here's what I've got:

A Hit or Missus grocery/sized tote. I have my own and it's very durable.

Two Hit or Missus coffee mugs.

Four From the Horse's Mouth coffee mugs.

A baseball cap with the retro Freezer Burn cover on the front and "Get Burned. It's Cool" on the back.

A baseball cap with Snoopy's book cover on the front and "From the Horse's Mouth" on the back.

Four (yes, FOUR) Professional's Choice grooming bags (these can also be used for other stuff. You don't have to store hoof picks in them).

Should I have a blog giveaway, along with a book, and/or a gift card? It would involve shipping, but I'm willing.

Or should I give them away this weekend at the Placentia Heritage Day Festival? I do love my P-Town peeps, and I'd be happy to show them how much. But... raffle? Pull emails out of a hat?

Maybe my fans would like something...

I'd love-love-LOVE some suggestions.

A big fat month of fun!

Wow, it's October already! I did not see that coming.

My October is going to be quite busy, with a capital BEE, It starts with the Duarte Festival of Authors, a fundraiser for the Friends of the Duarte Library, held in the lovely Westminster Gardens Memorial Park. I'll be there on Saturday, October 5th, from early to late. I believe the official hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. but it doesn't matter, I'll be arriving early and staying til the last dog is dead, as they say. (I'm not sure who "they" are, but they're a macabre bunch.)

My mystery buddies will be there, too. Terry Ambrose, Pam Carter Ripling (writing as Anne Carter), Jenny Hilborne, Teresa Burrell, and who knows who else. We call ourselves Murder, We Wrote, and we have a Facebook page, if you're interested. There will be books and authors and food and more. We're supposed to be on a panel together. I'll give you the details when I get them.

Then on the following weekend, I'm in a parade!

Placentia Heritage Day is always the second Saturday in October. There is always a pancake breakfast, a parade, then a day-long lovefest in Tri-City Park. As a trustee for the Placentia Library District, I get to ride in the parade. This will be my second year. I haven't decided whether to wear the tiara again, but I have started to get my waving arm in shape. I never knew how taxing it was to continually wave along the route!

After the parade, I will have a booth in the park where you can buy my books and I'll autograph them. I'll even just stand around and chat with you, because I love meeting people.

I'd love to come home and rest after that, but on Sunday, Oct. 13th, I'll be selling and signing at the Big Orange Book Festival (aka, BOB), held at Chapman University in Orange. I've never been to this event before, so we'll see how it all shakes out. Of course, you'll be getting a de-brief.

Because I will be so insanely busy, I've decided to ramp up the action by posting blogs every day, not just here, but on Snoopy's blog, too! We'll be doing some giveaways, and giving you some surprises.

Stop in every day and see what you could win!