Post-sixty worries

Last Friday I turned 60. It didn't feel any different than any other day of the week. I didn't feel older. Each day passes and I never feel older. I ride my horses and lift heavy things and climb up chairs to reach cabinet shelves and laugh and talk and don't feel the years accumulating.

Still, I have an increasing worry.

I recently went through a "thing" with a friend. They were a good friend, and then a few things happened to make me feel awkward and they felt offended and it went downhill from there. We managed to patch things up, in the following way:

1. Everytime I discussed my pain, I was told that my feelings were wrong (or nonexistent), and that this person hurt more.

2. Everytime they discussed their feelings, I tried very hard to acknowledge them without feeling like I was responsible for the way they felt. This is hard for me, since I think I'm supposed to make everyone feel good and be happy and like me.

We agreed to let go of the past, and I will, and I also accept that I'm not going to change this person and I can't be the boss of them.

Here's the thing: I've been noticing that this person has become more self-centered as they grow older and I'm frightened that I will become the same. Our conversations revolve around their news, their activities. They become increasingly irritated over things that don't go their way. I spend more and more time with them being less and less engaged.

There have been a couple of news articles about middle-age and narcissism. I can see how an older person might think, "My time here is winding down. I'm only here for a few more years. I deserve to move to the front of the line."

But I don't want to, at least to demand it. I explained this all to my husband, who said, "Everyone gets to be a cranky old person."

I don't want to be that person. I don't want to give the stink-eye to a young mother with a screaming child because I've forgotten what it's like to be that mom. I don't want to hear other people's woes as a competition to prove my aches and pains are worse than theirs. I don't want to lose my empathy, my humanity.

Can I ask for your help? If I start to become that person, will you tell me? From all indications, I may defend myself. I may fight you. You might have to be braver than you ever thought you could be. But trust me, I want to be saved.

I want my tombstone to say, "She was a real human being," not "She was a pissy old broad." Oh, and "She was really, really old" would be good.

Happy birthday to me!

Today's my birthday. It's not just any birthday. It's a milestone birthday (think 20, 30, 40, and beyond) AND it's my year on the Chinese calendar. I'm not Chinese, but I was born in the year of the Horse, and I'm going with that.

Of course, being such a momentous year, I plan to celebrate big and often. Tonight there will be a nice dinner with friends. Next week will be our monthly birthday celebration at the local watering hole. And further?

What I want to do is to give and get, for an entire year. So every time I do something nice for someone else, I'm going to reward myself with fun time with my friends. I'd like to be able to get together with people more often, and perhaps this will kick me into gear.

In the meantime, I'm offering FREEZER BURN for free this weekend. If you haven't tried it yet, here's a chance to check it out. http://www.amazon.com/Freezer-Burn-Peri-Minneopa-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B007ZHVDN4

Have a great day. I plan to.

A brief pause in the whole book/writing/author thing

Happy 21st birthday, Marcus!

You have been a joy in our lives, and we love you.

And even if you weren't such a joy, we would still love you.

I can't imagine this planet without you on it.

Your sense of humor slays me.




Your talent overwhelms me.

I'm so happy to be your mom.

Have a wonderful day!


* * * * *

Returning to the whole book/writing/author thing, if you haven't picked up your free copy of Snoopy's memoir, run over to Amazon and do it right now. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D0HDYRQ

A day of birthdays and festivals

It's October 12th. Do you know what that means? Yes, yes, it is the official date of Columbus Day, since abandoned in favor of the second Monday in October, but more than that, it is the birthdate of this guy:

Don't recognize him? Try him a few years older:

It's my son, Marcus. He's 20 years old today. (I haven't aged - how did he get so old?) As a toddler, he was obsessed with cars and at three years old could tell the difference between any make and model, and I mean ANY make and model. The day we were driving down the street and he said, of the car next to us, "That's a Ford Bronco. It's an '89," is the day I officially called it creepy.

At 20, he is at the California State University, Long Beach Bob Cole Conservatory of Music, studying vocal jazz and composition. In between cars and music, there were passionate interests in bugs, dinosaurs, the Titanic, soccer, Pokemon, and dancing.

I am just proud to be the mom of a kid who invests himself in curiosity. I wish everyone wanted to know everything about something.

In other news, on Saturday, I'll be in the Placentia Heritage Parade. You can't miss me. I'll be the one wearing the tiara. After the parade I'll take up my usual spot as an author in my booth in Tri-City Park. If you're in the Placentia area, come by and say hello. The Heritage Festival is nothing but fun!

Even books need birthdays

Freezer Burn was officially launched a year ago. One of the nice things about books, apart from the sheer beauty of the written word and the way they take you to exotic lands and introduce you to interesting people, is their longevity. Books released years ago are still in print and being sold at bookstores, on Amazon, and in other retail nooks and crannies.

So I don't believe in ditching last year's book for this year's model. Add to that the fact that this year's book isn't ready yet, and I really want to keep trying to get Freezer Burn into as many hands as possible.

In a rather looney moment, I got an equally looney idea: Have a birthday party for the book. After reason returned, I decided not to truly host a birthday party, but to make a video of a party to advertise my book. Brilliant!

Or not. I don't know, but I did it. It's on YouTube now, so the damage is done. Let me know what you think (but please be kind).





You can still buy Freezer Burn at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and independent bookstores everywhere - it's available in paperback, Kindle, Nook, and other e-reader format!

Missing: I once was lost but now I'm found!

I feel like I spent last week in a weird bubble - the bubble of leading the VHS Choir dinner theater. No, I wasn't in charge of the music, but I was in charge of everything else. We did two nights and managed to get people seated, fed, and entertained. Unfortunately, I didn't do anything else (with the exception of writing my column), which is why I can't find the floor of my family room from the clutter and I've got two weeks' worth of laundry looming.

But I'm back now, and I'm going to take a day to relax a little before I jump into taming the chaos, partly because I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet, but mostly because today's my birthday.

Yes, feel free to raise a glass - you can toast anything you want. If we ever meet, just tell me you wished me well. I share this birthday with one of my favorite writers EVAH, the lovely and talented Erma Bombeck. Erma would have been 82 today, had she lived. She passed away April 22, 1996 from complications due to a kidney transplant.

My kidneys seem to be still firing on all cylinders, and I'm not quite as old. How old am I? Hold your left hand up about a foot from your face, palm forward, fingers separated. Now hold your right hand up to mirror your left hand. Now wiggle your hands back and forth while keeping your arms quiet. What have you got? Jazz hands! Also two-fives. Double nickels. The speed limit on some freeways.

That's right. I'm "jazz hands" old.

So time is ticking, people! I've got to get more written, more published, more sold! Freezer Burn will be released this fall, but in the meantime, Echelon Press has published an anthology, MISSING, to benefit the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I have a story in the mix, "Cleaning up at the Franks," starring my P.I., Peri Minneopa. If you'd like to meet Peri early and support an organization dedicated to finding lost children, order your copy by clicking here.

Before I go, do you have an author or other artist with whom you feel an extra bond, whether it's a shared birthday, or a hometown, or even a food allergy? I'd love to hear from others who feel that special attraction to an artist's work, only to find out later that they share a common bond.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I got stuff ta do!