Bend me, shape me, any way you want me

Printer's Row Lit Fest is happening this weekend in Chicago. I had never heard of this until I began my journey with Freezer Burn. My book is, theoretically, available for sale; I sold 17 copies at the LA Times Festival of Books, and I could be selling it in Chicago this weekend.






Except that I can't go, which truly sucks because I love Chicago.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful publisher, Karen Syed, who is taking copies of Freezer Burn with her, along with some promo materials and clear labels with my signature to affix for those who want an autograph.

So why can't I just hop on a plane and travel 2000 miles? Because today is my son's spring choir concert. The end of the year concert is a big deal at Valencia High School. Any senior (in one of the choirs) who wants to sing a solo is given the opportunity. Yes, it means there are a few clunkers, and YES, the show is about a million hours long, but it's lovely and fun and poignant and a Don't Miss.

On Monday, I will escort the VHS Just Jazz vocal group to my former employer, Raytheon, to sing at a Diversity Luncheon, then I'll scramble about to get the choir's end-of-the-year banquet set up. It's been a tough year for the choir; the Guvernator slashed and burned through school budgets, wounding the arts severely, and the economy kept most parents from writing as many donation checks as in years past. The banquet this year is a potluck, and we're happy to get that.

So there's the beginning of my dilemma. Next year, my son is a senior in high school. I will be the president of the VHS Choir Booster Club. And I will have a book to sell.

See this picture?

That's me on the left. To the right, you'll notice every woman's unholy trinity – family, home, career. For the next year, I'll be waking up to these questions every morning:

1. What events in my son's life am I willing to sacrifice in order to increase my book sales?
2. What promotional and sales opportunities am I willing to sacrifice in order to be there for my son?
3. Where does my relationship with my husband fit into all this?
4. Where can I find a good housecleaner?

If I could, this is how I'd resolve my problem:

Before it turns into this:

Thoughts, anyone?

"Time!" was all the White Rabbit said.

How is everyone? Have a good weekend? Me, too.

My weekend started last Thursday, when I got home from the ranch and heard the following message on my home phone:

"Hi, this is Karen Syed. I just received 20 copies of your book today, and I was wondering if you're going to be at the L.A. Times book festival this Sunday. You said you'd try, but you might have something else to do. If you are, I'll bring the books with me for you to sell. Call me back as soon as you can."



Rrrruh?

My first thought was, my book is listed on the Echelon website as being available June 1st. My book launch party is July 19th. How can I have copies for sale now?



It took me all of two seconds to decide that who the hell cares. I called her back immediately and told her yes, YES, I'll be there on Sunday.



The next few days were spent reminding myself to breathe in, breathe out, and repeat as necessary. Thursday night, I went to sleep thinking, in three days I get to see my book. On Friday, I thought, in two days I get to hold my book. By Sunday morning, I could barely inhale from excitement.



I was, of course, early to UCLA on Sunday. In my defense, you never know what the freeways in SoCal are going to be like. The first people in the booth were the Fairy Lady, Bobbie Hinman, and her helpful hubby, who started setting up their portion of the Echelon Press booth. Soon, Jeff Sherratt came, then I think a whirlwind of Teresa Burrell, Jenny Turner, and Herself, Karen Syed. Pam Ripling and Alyssa Montgomery brought up the rear, but were quickly forgiven because they brought food.



I began the day by bribing my publisher with her favorite morning drink (hint: if you need to meet with Karen early, bring a venti decaf caramel machiato from Starbuck's with you), plus an extra little gift of herbal tea and a customized mug I ordered from Zazzle with my book cover on one side and "Get burned. It's cool." on the other side. Cute, huh?



By the time everyone was arranging tablecloths and getting out books and accessories, I looked down at an open box and saw my books. I kind of wanted to pass out, then run around squealing, but I resisted. After all, nobody else was doing that, and I didn't want to look too weird. I took my books out of their box and put them on a table, which is when I found out how truly underprepared I was.



EVERYBODY had bookstands to stand their books upright, and plastic holders to contain their bookmarks and business cards, and postcards and Jenny's got handcrafted book thongs for everyone who buys a book, and...



I had three things: 1) a bunch of bookmarks that I ordered from Vista Prints at the last minute because my real bookmarks haven't been completed yet; 2) a small amount of magnitized business cards because I appreciate the irony of having a refrigerator magnet with a picture of a refrigerator on it; and 3) a stunning realization that I had no clue what I was doing there. To make matters worse, I had forgotten to put a Sharpie in my purse, and I had forgotten my camera. I felt a little boneheaded.



So Jeff loaned me a stand for my book and a Sharpie, Teresa loaned me a holder for my bookmarks, and the little redheaded stepchild put her book display together. Here's what it looked like:



We puttered about until 10 a.m., when the festival officially opened. The first thing we noticed was a huge line forming on the sidewalk beside us. Karen said, "Oh, look, people standing still. Why doesn't someone go give them some bookmarks?"



I was planning to observe how everyone else worked the crowd, but no one moved. I'm pretty sure I had an out-of-body experience at this point - bookmarks in hand, I could feel my feet moving toward the line even though my head was wondering where we were going.



"Who are you waiting for?" I asked a couple.



"James Ellroy."



There was my opening. "Oh, you like mysteries? I wrote one!" I burbled my spiel for them, handing them bookmarks before prattling my way down the line. I tried to give bookmarks to everyone, but I didn't bother the people who were too busy talking to each other. Everyone was so nice to me, they shared in my enthusiasm and promised to come by our booth after they got their books autographed. I'm not sure if they showed up or not, but it was fun talking to them.



Nevertheless, I had my first sale in no time. Here's the picture:




It was very cool, very exciting, very over the top surreal. Each sale was like that. I wanted to scream at Karen, "OMG, they're buying MY book!" But I didn't. I did get better at the spiel, throwing in some humor about what happens when Peri finds that severed hand in Benny's freezer. "Usually I throw those away when I find them," I'd say. "But she decides to call the cops." I'd say it got a laugh at least 97% of the time.

Best encounter of the day? I approached two women and asked if they like mysteries. The younger one pointed to the older one. "My mom does." I gave them my pitch, along with the comedy, and the young woman holds out her hand. "Now THAT'S worth a bookmark," she said. They didn't buy a book, but who knows? My website is listed. It'll be interesting to see what kind of hits I get.



Over the afternoon, I sat one time (to eat lunch with Karen), got slightly sunburned, and sold 17 copies of my book. I took the other three home as part of my author copies.



When the day was done, I helped pack stuff away and schlep things to the car. The good news is I found my car right away, something I'm typically not good at doing. The bad news is that I got a little lost getting back to the freeway. I recently activated the VZNavigator on my phone, so I tried it out. I had my Bluetooth earpiece on, so it was a little weird to have some woman whispering in my ear - "In 1.1 miles, turn right on National." I'm sure my hubby would like this feature.



In light of this unexpected bookselling opportunity, I've set up a new page on my website, "Where's Gayle?" I'll list all my speaking and signing engagements here. It was kind of a hard page to set up. I was going to call it "Appearances" but that sounded either like I'm singing nightly at a piano bar or I work part-time as the Aurora Borealis or some kind of apparition. Even saying it as "Where's Gayle?" has its problems. What if people think they can find my GPS location on the website? ("Oh, she's at Ralph's, get the camera!") Anyway, check it out and tell me what you think, http://www.gaylecarline.com/gayleappearances.html.



On a rather random note, I have a question for you all: when you are having milk and cookies, and the cookies are gone, so you're drinking the milk, do you drink the crumbs as well, or just drink the milk down to where the crumbs get the thickest? Just wondering.

The wheels are in motion

Okay, they've been in motion every since Karen Syed said, "Would you like a contract?" Let's say that they're in gear and going ten, maybe fifteen, miles an hour. Yesterday I went to the Placentia City Hall and rented one of the community buildings for my book launch. Specifically, I rented the Backs Building in Kraemer Memorial Park. This one:

I thought this would be a good place to have the launch party because this is where they find the first body in my book. Actually, they find it behind this building. The good thing about this building is that it's large enough to handle a lot of people, and it has a connection to the book. The bad thing about this building is that I can't serve any alcohol here, so Peri's dirty martinis will not be available.

I would have preferred to rent this place:

It's Peri and Skip's favorite neighborhood restaurant. In my short story in Missing ("Cleaning Up at the Franks"), this place is called Paolini's. That's because this place used to actually be called Paolini's. I like that name better than Capone's, but hey, I don't own the place. They changed the name halfway through my work with Kat, my editor, so I had to do a global replace if I wanted the book to halfway match reality. Capone's would be a great place to have a launch party. Good food, we could have alcohol, but I'd be paying an arm and a leg, and possibly my liver and a couple more organs. I love my book, but I can't go into debt celebrating its release. Of course, in this economy I'm just hoping Capone's lasts until my next book.

Back to the Backs Building – first of all, I'll set the mood with Dean Martin. In addition to Dino, I'll have some of Peri's favorite music (Eric Clapton and Arrowsmith), and I'll try to press my son's singing/guitar playing into service.

I'll decorate the tables with roses, to tie in with the Forever Roses Ring. I'll offer punch and cookies. Look at the cookie cutters I found:
Cool, yes? If I can get cookies made like these, it would be perfect. If it's cost-prohibitive, I could have a couple dozen of these to decorate the plate of plain cookies.

For entertainment, here's what I'm thinking:
1. Portable DVD players around the room, playing slide shows and other teasers for book.
2. Brief interview (I plan to enlist my friend, Robin, to come up with interesting questions).
3. Brief reading, along with a little Q&A.
4. Raffle off a book (money goes to support Placentia Library).
5. A large jar of olives – guess how many are in the jar and win a book.
6. First x number of people get promo materials.

What have I forgotten? Oh, yes, how about a table full of my books for sale, and an endless supply of pens for me to autograph them!

So… how's that sound? BTW, I'm holding it Sunday, July 19th, in the afternoon. Come on out and have some cookies!

Countdown to Launch

When Karen Syed (publisher extraordinaire) first talked about my book launch party, I had visions...



Dream One was an enormous gathering of family and friends at the local Italian restaurant, which is featured in the book. We'd have food and drink and Dean Martin tunes, while I sat and signed books.



Dream Two's setting was the Barnes & Noble that sits on the site of my old workplace, Hughes Aircraft. Now Raytheon, there is a single building left on the hill where many of my former co-workers still toil away. It seemed like the perfect place to draw an audience.



Then Karen told me what a launch party really looked like. "You need to invite at least 300 people," she told me. "About 100 will actually show up."



There were more instructions. Serve cookies and punch, invite the media, get one of your friends to sit at a table and sell books, etc. But there was one little piece she left out, probably because she assumed I'd know this: Make it fun. People should want to come and find out about the book, and leave with a copy in their hands that they can't wait to read. They should want to tell their friends, "I met the author and she signed my copy and it's just so cool!"



Okay, any suggestions on how I make this fun?



Here's what I'm planning so far:


1. Launch party location - The Backs Building at Kraemer Memorial Park in Placentia. This is a community building that I can rent, supercheap, and it's where the first body in my book is found. I thought it would be nice to tie in an actual location with the "fictional" location. I also thought I'd have an after-party at my house for friends and family, where I can serve some real food and drinks.



2. Decor/ambiance - Haven't quite figured out a decor, but I definitely plan to have a soundtrack of Dean Martin songs (the object of Benny's obsession), plus a few of the things Peri likes to listen to. I'm also in negotiations with my singer-guitarist son to provide some live music. Peri loves to watch old movies, so maybe I can do something with that, decor-wise.



3. Media - Since I write for the Placentia News-Times, I'm going to try to get coverage from them, even if I have to throw myself under a bus to do it. I think I'll also engage my friend, Robin, in a mock-interview, to be videotaped and used for my website, advertising, etc.



4. What else? Here's where I could use some ideas. I have one so far. Here's a picture of the back of the Backs Building:

Now then, here are the first couple of pages that take place in this location:

The red lights from the squad cars were barely visible in the midday sun. Peri saw Skip dig his way through the crowd as they swarmed around the yellow police tape barricading the corner of the Backs Building. She took her time getting out of the car, excited about investigating a murder, but anxious about the scene.
Peri wound through the curious onlookers and slipped under the tape, stopping on a rise of grass, where she could watch Skip and Blanche work. She couldn't see the body clearly, but could only discern a tangle of dark hair and a golden covering, either a blanket or a coat. Blanche knelt beside the body, pointing and speaking into a digital recorder. Skip stood to the side, looking down at Blanche and taking notes.
After a few minutes, Skip waved Peri over. She hesitated; she had never seen a dead body, except for relatives in their caskets. Even from a distance, she could tell this one needed brighter lipstick. As she moved closer, she saw the skin looked dark and pocked, decomposed from daily watering. Although it fascinated her, Peri did not want to showcase her inexperience by suddenly fainting or throwing up.
"What's it look like, Beebs?" Skip asked.
"I'll know more when I get her back to the office, but it's definitely a young female, dead at least a day, or two."
Peri had finally joined them, looking over Blanche's shoulder at the corpse. Still tucked against the building, the body looked as if she had laid down for a nap, a rich, golden coat buttoned and smoothed over her legs, her arms crossed in front, modestly hiding the fact they had no hands. Peri could smell a combination of rotting meat, wet dirt, and general compost, not as horrible as she had feared. Neither was the sight of the darkened skin, patchy from deterioration. Even the face, missing lips, and most of the nose, didn't creep her out as much as she had imagined. Peri relaxed and listened to the conversation.
"My first guess is blunt force trauma," Blanche said, pointing to a dark spot in the victim's forehead. "I'll get you results as soon as I can. By the way, Peri, thanks for your insights about Dani the other night. Turns out, she's been seeing a Goth saxophonist who dropped out of college. We're having him over for dinner on Tuesday. Wanna come?"
Peri laughed. "Wouldn't miss it for the world. Maybe I should try to corner the 'moms with teenagers' market. I'll bet they could use an investigator sometimes."

As you can see from the text, I took some liberties with the location. Do you think it would be fun to read this passage, then talk about why an author sets their story in a real location, only to change it?

If anyone has been through this before, I'd be interested in knowing what you did for your launch to make it a fun and entertaining party. What worked? What didn't? What would you do differently?

I was back in a flash...

I got back from the San Diego SoCal Writer's Conference, and really hit the ground running, as they say. Yes, it's a cliche, but do you know a better way to describe getting back into town just in time to complete the arrangements for my son's choir's dinner theater? I was in charge, which meant fielding phone calls, assigning tables, decorating, running errands, talking to the caterer, and making sure everything ran smoothly on Thursday and Friday nights. I'm happy to report that we've got one night down, and one to go, and it was perfect. I couldn't have been happier with the adults and the children who volunteered. If you want to see my son's choir, go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsTKbM-9k78. They're amazing.

But let's talk about San Diego. It was fun, as usual. I got to hang out with my publisher, Karen Syed, who is just so funny and outspoken, and my friend, Alicia Bien, who makes me laugh until I cry, and Claudia Whitsett, who is really nice. And, of course, there were Michael and Wes, fun folks to decompress with at the end of the day.

My very first workshop this trip happened by accident. I meant to go hear Andy Peterson talk about how bad you can make your good guy, but instead I went to the Flash Fiction workshop with Julie Ann Shapiro. I was so surprised at falling into the wrong room, when she asked if I'd ever done flash fiction, I couldn't think of a thing.

What a dolt!

First of all, I LOVE to enter the SCWC Topic contest every year, 250 words of any kind on the topic chosen Friday night. I've been to 6 SCWCs - I've won three and been runner-up once. I entered the Southern California Writer's Association topic contest once, and won that. Let's face it, I'm very popular at 250 words.

At a little longer, I was also runner-up in the WOW-Women on Writing flash fiction contest, with my entry, "Quarter Life." Here's the interview I did with them when I got my award: http://www.wow-womenonwriting.com/2009/02/interview-with-gayle-carline-runner-up.html.

When I write one of these little ditties, my good buddy, Kip Mistral, always emails me with the same question: How do you come up with this stuff? My answer is always the same: Many things remind me of many things.

I thought perhaps I'd use one or two of these posts to discuss how I think of these things, in a little more detail.

During the Flash Fiction workshop, Julie produced a group of trinkets: fur boas, plush stars and butterflies, foamboard crowns and pirate hats. She challenged us to write a 100-200 word story about one or more of these things. Here's what I wrote:

"The boa slithers across her arms and around her waist. It is yellow and matches her outfit, what there is of it. She clings to the pole on the stage, gyrating to her heartbeat while speakers spit out a seductive dirge.

The fat man is here today. He sits in front and lets the drool slide down his mustache, his rheumy eyes feasting on her body, but not her soul. Today, she smiles at him, white teeth surrounded by crimson. She leans forward and lets her boa drop from her shoulders, feather light as she drapes it around his neck. His eyes, bright with desire, open wide. They continue to bulge as the snake tightens its grip."

How did my mind work with the materials? First, I think you should know I like my stories dry with a twist, so I don't want a straightforward tale of a pirate or a butterfly or a queen, etc. Let someone else do that. I looked at the fur boa and began to think about a boa snake. But who could hold a feather or real boa? Hmm, an exotic dancer. That put me into a strip joint, at least as I've seen them in the movies (no, I've never been, but that's another story). Then I wondered how I could write a tale that made you wonder what kind of boa the girl was holding until the last possible moment.

What do you think? Did I succeed?

San Diego dreamin'

Next weekend, I'm going to the San Diego Writer's Conference, and I'm already making my lists. I have a list of things to pack, a list of writings to take, and a list of tools to have. Oh, yes, and a list of people to look up, find, buy a drink, etc. I love these conferences, mostly because they re-charge my writing batteries, but also because good things have tended to happen to me there.

On my first trip to San Diego, I met Gordon Kirkland, who became my humor-writing mentor. I enjoy his company greatly and was sad to learn he won't be in San Diego this year, especially since he makes me laugh until I hiccup. My second trip to San Diego is when I met Karen Syed, pitched her my book and ended up with a contract. This will be my third trip - what could possibly top that? Oh, and of course, I have met TONS of friends at each conference, most of whom I've stayed in touch with, thanks to email, Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, etc.

One of the nice things about these conferences is they are working conferences. You can bring your WIP and read it aloud in a group of other writers. There is a workshop leader there who makes certain everyone is polite and focused and gives you feedback you can use. Trust me, I've been in writers' groups where one man complained about the font I used, and another didn't like it because he doesn't read my genre. *sigh*

What I find a little disappointing in the conference is that some writers don't take advantage of all of the other workshops. Because read & critique groups are offered all day (and into the night), some people show up with their manuscripts and travel from r&c to r&c without stopping in to hear Jean Jenkins talk about editing, or Jennifer Redmond discuss what makes a good query letter, or Michael Thompkins introduce them to the psychological/physical aspects of characters. Not only are they losing out on dynamic speakers, but they are missing an opportunity to take someone else's experience and apply it to their own works. I once heard Willard Scott say something interesting (yea, it scared me, too): "When you're green, you're growing, and when you think you're ripe, you're rotten." It shot through my soul like an electric current, and I've vowed to try to keep learning, no matter how accomplished I think I might be, no matter what the subject.

This year's conference will be fun, in that I'll get to see my publisher, Karen Syed, in person, instead of just e-bugging her. I'll also get to see a lot of the friends I've made throughout the years.

In addition, this year, the conference falls on Valentine's Day, so I've bought an extra banquet ticket for my hubby to join me on Saturday night. San Diego is only two hours from our house. Dale has met a handful of these folks, but I do hope he enjoys himself at the dinner.

If anyone's wondering about my lists, here they are:
1. Packing - Business casual with lots of layering options. Weatherman says it's supposed to rain, and I know the hotel corridors aren't completely enclosed.
2. Writings - I'm taking the first four chapters of my latest work in progress (another Peri story, entitled "Hit or Missus"), and the first 20 pages of a book of my newspaper columns I've put together in the form of a journal.
3. Tools - my laptop, a pad of paper, pens, pencils, and business cards.

Oh, yea, and I'm taking a Valentine to give to my hubby.

Did I miss anything?

What kind of writer's conferences have you been to? Do you like to work at a conference, or do you prefer to sit and be handed information? Let me know - I'm an enquiring mind!

If it's fiction, does that mean it's not true?

They say the worst liars are the people who blend a lie in with the truth. You can assume, with people who lie all the time, that they are lying each time they open their mouths. But when they tell the truth most of the time, but mix one lie in every once in awhile, how do you know which statement was true and which one was false?

When I started writing Freezer Burn, I knew I wanted to set it in Placentia. Call me crazy (no, it's okay, I've been called worse), but I knew which house I wanted Benny to live in, knew Peri's neighborhood, knew where they'd have lunch and get takeout and get gas in their cars. I've lived in Placentia since 1984, albeit in three different houses. If you'd asked me five years ago why, I'd have told you it was purely accident. Nowadays, I call it an instinctual accident. Let's face it - Placentia is a teeny little 'burb in north Orange County, engulfed by other, bigger 'burbs. But every time I needed to move, I looked around at the neighboring cities, then my gut called me home to Placentia. It's where I belonged.

The good thing about setting a fictional story in a real place is, you know the place well. I can drive you down real streets and take you to real places without having to make up new names. The bad thing is, you're afraid people will take umbrage if you don't represent their town well.

Some towns are huge and can take the heat. I doubt if anyone in Chicago reads J.A. Konrath's books and thinks, "That hoser - the way he tells it, Chi-town's littered with the bodies left by all the serial killers." Even the Irvine and Newport Beach areas of south Orange County don't whine that Dean Koontz is making them sound like they're all in imminent danger of some supernatural evil. As a matter of fact, they kinda like Dean down south.

When I was dropping people and clues and bodies around Placentia, I confess to a small worry. What if the Placentia citizens don't want bank managers with gambling problems, or sociopathic day care workers living in their borders? (Note: these are just examples, not actual characters.)

So I mixed things up a bit. For example, I set quite a few scenes at the Homeless Intervention Shelter, or HIS House. I am proud of our community serving the homeless in this way, and the setting fit in with a character who is down on her luck. But I gave the home a big grassy backyard, and I completely made up the interiors. Benny's house is in an actual location, but I changed the name of the church next door, and I took the basic house and exaggerated the style.

Now, of course, I'm wondering if I should have stayed more true to life, or should have renamed Placentia, like Sue Grafton in her Kinsey Mulhone series. She renamed Santa Barbara to Santa Teresa, except that everyone who reads her books knows it's really Santa Barbara so what was the point?

Anyway, whether you are a reader or writer, which do you prefer? Can you take your reality with a teaspoon of fiction, or does it bother you to know a neighborhood and have the author change a restaurant's name? I'd really like to know.

P.S. I would be remiss if I didn't mention a couple of things today:

1. I have a short story in the anthology series, Missing, from Echelon Press. Proceeds from the sale of this book will benefit the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, and it's ON SALE NOW. Buy it and read a bunch of cool stories by good authors, and earn some good karma by helping a worthy cause!

2. Has Karen Syed (publisher and queen of Echelon) got a deal for you! TODAY ONLY, buy ANY book/download for $3 or more from http://echelonpress.com/directory.htm and receive a FREE download of your choice! Don't wait!

3. This Friday (Feb. 6) is National Wear Red Day in recognition of women beating heart disease. So put on your red hat, or ruby slippers, or scarlet letter, and send a picture of yourself to Karen (echelonpress@comcast.net) for her wall of honor. C'mon, it'll be a fun way to call attention to an important health issue.

Yeah, what Joe said

Joe Konrath has an interesting post (as usual) today about the cost of being a writer (visit http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/2009/01/writer-as-spendthrift.html to read the full text). I completely agree that there are a lot of people out there who are willing to charge writers money in order to teach them what they already know. And amazingly, there are a lot of writers who will pay it. They run from one conference to the next writing course, dropping enormous amounts of cash while talking about what they're going to do someday when they "become writers".

Here are my own caveats to Joe's very excellent advice:

1. Taking writing courses from people who've never or only rarely been published. There are writing courses, and then there are writing courses. Some people need help with the basics. These are the people who've managed to drift through 12 years of schooling without realizing that verbs must be paired with nouns. They need to be taught by a licensed professional, and it doesn't matter if the pro has been published or not.

Why do they want to be writers, you ask. Because telling people you are a writer is cool. If you're a man, you get to wear turtleneck sweaters. If you're a woman, you get to have headshots taken that make you look gorgeous without feeling self-indulgent. OK, you and I know that being a writer is not cool, it is hard work because you have to actually think, and turtlenecks are hot and itchy and headshots are a big pain in the butt. But let these people have their fantasies. Maybe they'll take a few classes and decide it isn't worth having to tell the difference between an adverb and an adjective. Or maybe they'll learn and want to keep writing. You aren't the boss of them, so smile and be encouraging when your 80-year old illiterate uncle tells you he's going to write a memoir of when he was at Iwo Jima, except you know he had a desk job in Roanoke the entire war. At the very least, he will be keeping the local writing instructor employed.

2. Don't buy what you can get for free. There are so many wonderful blogs on the Internet now about writing and editing and being published, it's a wonder that anyone should pay for a class or a seminar or a conference. Yet, there are some times when you should. One is if you are reading all of these wonderful blogs and are still flailing about, because you can't organize your thoughts around the information you're being given. The other is when there is a payoff you can't get from the Internet. I have gone to several writer's conferences in the past 3 years, due to both of those reasons.

In September, 2006, I attended my first Southern California Writer's Conference in Palm Springs. At the time, I was a newspaper and magazine columnist who wanted to write a novel, although I didn't know what to write it about. I sat in workshops and listened and took notes and decided to take one of my short stories and turn it into a novel. I didn't plan to go to the San Diego SCWC in February, but I had a big chunk of my horrific novel written and I couldn't figure out why it was so horrific, so I went. In San Diego, I heard the professional writers/publishers/editors tell me why it wasn't good, but I still didn't "get" it. It took me another conference to figure it all out. That's when I wrote a good book, went to another conference, met Karen Syed and sold FREEZER BURN.

Did I spend a bit of money? Yes, BUT it was concentrated in one direction and I got results from my investment. Do I think everyone at SCWC gets a good return on their dollar? No, because I've seen a lot of people at these conferences who don't go to the workshops or listen to the experts. They use the conferences as a writer's group, sitting in read & critiques and submitting their first 20 pages to every editor and publisher on the panel. If you're one of those people, save your money. Join a writer's group and learn to send out queries.

Nowadays, I do visit a lot of bloggers and take a lot of their advice to heart. For example, LJ Sellers was waxing poetic about the need for a character database. I didn't build one for FREEZER BURN, but now I'm starting the next book about Peri and her friends (tentatively titled HIT OR MISSUS) and I spent most of an evening looking at the previous book for characters I wanted to re-use but couldn't remember their last name, hair color, etc. LJ was right - the database makes everything SO much easier.

Will I continue to attend the conferences? Depends upon who is going to be there and what I need from the conference.

Joe is absolutely right to warn writers against poring money into the process unless they absolutely need to. Sometimes you do need to spend a little money, but you need to look at what you're ultimately getting for your dollar. Is it moving your writing career along, or is it teaching you more of what you already know?

Stop talking about "becoming a writer". Write and "be a writer".

The Butterfly effect, Part 2

Can we be frank? I've gotten a Butterfly Award and two Premio Dardos ("Prize Darts") Awards, and when I look around to see who to pass them on to, I see that everyone I read is getting multiple Butterflies and Darts. Are we supposed to be passing them around within the group to build interest in each other's blogs somehow, or are we supposed to be cross-pollinating, introducing ourselves to new people?

Seriously, I can't tell.

So here's what I'm going to do: First, I'm going to try to insert that pretty Butterfly picture into this post. Pray for me - here goes nothing -

See anything? Me neither. Damn.

Never mind, let's go to the next step. If I read every interesting blog out there, I'd never eat, sleep or write, and forget riding my horses. But here's who I read regularly: The Life of a Publisher, A Newbie's Guide to Publishing, Alexandra Sokoloff, Morgan Mandel, Writely So, and Write First Clean Later. These lovely people have been showered with blog awards from myself and others. Please keep visiting them, and comment often. We all get lonely.

Here are some blogs I've recently discovered by looking at Blogger's "Blogs of Note". I don't know if they need any more followers, and they're not all about writing, BUT they are either pretty, or fascinating, or helpful in some way. Check them out if you've got the time and the inkling:

Book Flap (indy bookstore in Menlo Park, CA)

The One-Minute Writer (quick writing prompts to get your fingers and brain moving)

The Book Design Review (reviews/discussions about book covers - fascinating)

Editorial Anonymous (real-life lessons on what not to do)

Query Shark (same as E.A. for query letters)

Detectives Beyond Borders (international crime)

Poem of the Week (well, yea, what it sounds like)

Cheerful Scoop (good news when you need it)

Synch-ro-ni-zing (beautiful photos)

If It's Hip It's Here (cutting edge products - this was giving me story ideas)

I'll try to alert these folks to their Butterflies, but mostly I just want to spread the seeds of information around and keep us all from inbreeding ideas. Enjoy.

Now that I've spread my Butterfly's wings - have I had any effect on the atmosphere?>

The Butterfly effect

Last week, I was honored by my publisher, Karen Syed, with a Butterfly Award. She had been chosen by Joan De La Haye, and according to the rules, needed to pass it on to ten other bloggers. I'm, of course, pleased as punch when anyone thinks of me enough to give me a mention, but these blog/meme awards are stressing me. First of all, I'm supposed to post the Butterfly award logo on my blog. It's a pretty logo. I wish you could see it. Here's the problem...

I tried to get the Premio Dardos logo on my blog, to no avail. Yes, I'm a former software engineer, but Blogger doesn't seem convinced. I kept using the Insert Picture feature and it kept telling me that I had succeeded, then it ignored my request to insert anything. Basically, it was blowing me off. So, although I'll try to post the butterfly logo, I don't know if Blogger will obey me.

After I get the logo mounted, I have to nominate ten other blogs. I keep seeing the Butterfly making the rounds of the blogs I read, so I don't want to re-nominate people who've already gotten their butterfly. The nominations will have to wait until I hunt around a bit for some folks who need the mention. Which makes the Butterfly Award one more item on my To-Do list.

They say the flapping of a butterfly's wings might ultimately cause changes in the atmosphere, including altering the path of a tornedo. This Butterfly has definitely altered my plans.

Has anyone else out there felt measurable effects from an immeasurably small event?