Stop me, somebody.

My latest book is due to be released in a little over a month. The ebook will be out on Kindle May 21st (Wednesday). The paperback will be out on May 24th, a Saturday. I was agonizing over where to have a release party, until I figured out I needed to work in the morning, then I was invited to a party in the afternoon. I thought about a party on Sunday, but I'm scheduled to be at an event that day, too. So I shall raise a glass at each location and toast the birth of my seventh book-child.

Why am I waiting so long to release MURDER ON THE HOOF? Mostly to set up any advance publicity and marketing. Get a blurb for the press release. Line up some appearances, either at bookstores or online. Do the publisher-thing.

If I can just get the author to stop screwing with the manuscript.

Yes, I've had the book professionally edited. Yes, I was more than happy with the edits. I was satisfied, contented, assured that the changes were good and necessary and made my book better. One of the things I like to do with each book is to read a proof copy of the paperback version, and read a copy on my Kindle. The same words seem to look wildly different, and I find additional ways to tighten the writing.

I'm now on my second paperback proof. It looks good. Perhaps more than good. I love it, from the cover to the words on the page. And yet... I can always find one little change that would make it better. Or would it?

Here's a paragraph I thought was good:

Willie brought the back of her hand across his face. He took a step backward and glowered at her, so she made a fist and punched his nose, knocking him into the table. She didn’t want to stop. Grabbing at the cart next to her, she pulled out a pair of scissors and lurched toward him. The fear on his face made her look up at the weapon she was about to plunge into him. Reality, reason, and good sense returned to her in a flash.

Here's how I thought it would be better:

His weakness fueled her rage. Willie brought the back of her hand across his face. He took a step backward and glowered at her, so she made a fist and punched his nose, knocking him into the table.

Her hand stung, but she didn’t want to stop. Grabbing at the cart next to her, she pulled out a pair of scissors and lurched toward him. The fear on his face made her look up at the weapon she was about to plunge into him.

Reality, reason, and good sense returned to her in a flash.

Is it really so much better that I should continue to tweak? (Note: I said tweak, not twerk.)

I may need an intervention. Can anyone out there get me to step away from the manuscript and put down the red pen?

Over at the distillery

There are things I need to be doing if I wasn't feeling so lazy, and there are things I'd like to be doing if I wasn't the least little bit vain. For example, if I wasn't so lazy, I'd be washing the dishes. If I wasn't so vain, I'd be at the local hangout, watching football with my hubby. (I'm not allowed to wear makeup until tomorrow, so I look a little ghostly.)

Instead, I'm working on the jacket copy, telling myself it's super-hard work that I really need to get finished. My previous post showed my rough draft, but even I knew that wasn't good enough. The back cover (also used as the description on Amazon) needs to sell the story to potential readers. It needs to be concise, have punch, tease a reader.

So I began to distill. Distill. Distill some more.

Take the first paragraph:

"Willie Adams is shopping for her first horse during a week-long show at the Los Angeles Equestrian Center. She’s a young widow who is ready to date again, in theory. In reality, the first time gorgeous Tyler Ransome smiles at her, she wants to run the opposite direction. He has a horse she might want to buy, but she finds herself clumsy and tongue-tied in his presence."

Do we need to know where this is taking place? No. She's shopping for a horse. Do we need to know she's a young widow? Yes. That's integral to the romance. Do we need all those words to describe Tyler's good looks and her reaction to them? No. Get out the scissors.

The second paragraph:

"Another horse trainer, Bobby Fermino, shows too much interest in her. Things get ugly fast, and she has to fight him off. When he turns up murdered, Willie is the most likely suspect. Enter Lucas Macy, an attractive detective with a lilting English accent. Willie is drawn to him sexually, but she's confused by his behavior. One minute he's warm and seductive, and the next he's cold and businesslike."

Do we need Bobby's occupation? No. The murder is important, so we need to keep that. How about the same amount of blah-blah-blah about Lucas and how she feels about him? Not so much.

The final paragraph should give the punch line. Does it?

"As Macy and his partner unravel the clues, Willie realizes she has two options. She can let the police do their job, or do her own sleuthing and hand them the real killer. She also has two choices: the handsome cowboy or sexy detective?"

This isn't bad, but still needs a trim. And the last sentence? No. Just no.

Once I had finished snipping and reworking, I added a tagline and ended up with something I liked better.

* * * * *

She was looking for a horse. What she found was romance. And danger.

Willie Adams is shopping for her first horse. She’s a young widow, struggling with idea of dating again. Trainer Tyler Ransome is single and has a horse she might want to buy. He’s also gorgeous—too gorgeous for her.

Bobby Fermino is not as handsome, nor as pleasant. He attacks Willie, then ends up dead in her tack room, leaving her the most likely suspect.

Enter Detective Lucas Macy. Willie is drawn to him sexually, but is not looking for a purely physical relationship, especially with a man who thinks she is a killer.

She has two options, to let the police do their job, or do her own sleuthing and find the real murderer. Can she also release her heart from grief and be free to love again?

* * * * *

I'm not certain if this is the final version, but it's certainly better than the first draft. Is this a sufficient tease?

 

Checking in

When we last left Gayle, she was up to her thyroid in edits of the new mystery, Murder On The Hoof. Let's check in and see what she's doing today...

Okay, the good news is, I don't have to add a whole week to the timeline. I'm not going to add a bunch of filler just to stretch the story. (Aside: I once had a girl tell me she was going to write a book. She said, "I've got all the key scenes written down. so all I have to do is write a bunch of filler in between." I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry.)

The bad news is, I do have to re-arrange a few scenes and start the action on Monday instead of Wednesday. Is that important? Wellllll...

Standard AQHA shows are Thursday through Sunday. A longer show, like the Sun Circuit, might last from Saturday through to the following weekend. I need my story to end on Saturday. If I start it on the previous Saturday, I've got at least two days that end up as some kind of "the next two days seemed to crawl by as Willie waited for X to happen."

Lame-O.

But if the show starts on Tuesday, the timeline works. Willie and her trainer load in on Monday, someone dies, and off we go. Perfect.

All I have to do is convince my readers that it's perfect timing. Wish me luck.

Editing - it's not for wimps

I've started the first round of editing of Murder On The Hoof. How many rounds are there, typically? It depends. I always have five editing steps.

1. Sweeping read-through where I get rid of my go-to words and do clean up work.

2. One read-aloud, where I re-work sections that sound really good in my head and really bad in my mouth.

3. One read-aloud into a digital voice recorder, where I play it back and just listen to what needs to be re-worked.

4. One analytical read-through, where I outline what I've written and look at the pacing and structure.

5. One read-through to verify that all my edits were successful.

I can have several rounds of each step, so it can be a long process.

Murder On The Hoof will take a lot of editing. So much of it came so quickly, I'm finding wacky things, like photos that were supposed to have been taken by someone who is already dead. (No, there will be no zombies in this novel.)

Plus, as soon as I typed THE END I knew I would have to go back in and add a week to the timeline (it will be abbreviated). After creating a fictional horse show that is two weeks long so I could use some already-expedited forensics tests, I wrapped the whole thing up in the first weekend.

Yeah, that can't happen.

After my editing, I'll be soliciting my beta readers. Who to chose...