MURDER ON THE HOOF is finally on sale!
You can go here to get your copy - http://www.amazon.com/Murder-Hoof-Gayle-Carline-ebook/dp/B00KGSALGY/
I'm so super proud of this book, I can barely get the words out of my mouth. Or off my fingertips. This is my first romantic suspense, and I had a lot of fun writing it. It was easy to write and hard to write and everything took careful thought.
It's only $3.99 for your Kindle (or Kindle App).
Just because I'm an excitable gal, I'm offering new discounts today.
HIT OR MISSUS is available for 99 cents. Here is the link - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00537SP5M
WHAT WOULD ERMA DO? is available for Free. The link is - http://www.amazon.com/Would-Confessions-First-Time-Humor-Columnist-ebook/dp/B004LX0D04/
Are you ready for a contest?
The first five people to leave comments on this blog post get the following: your choice of a signed paperback copy or a personalized e-book copy of MURDER ON THE HOOF, Plus-Plus-Plus a $10 Amazon gift card.
The first person to comment will get the book, the gift card and this:
It's technically a grooming bag, but it also makes a great bag for garden tools, crafts, etc.
By the way, there's another contest going on today at Babs Book Bistro - go here for all the scoop: http://www.babsbookbistro.net/guest-author-gayle-carline-giveaway/
Enjoy!
"The notion that such persons are gay of heart and carefree is curiously untrue. They lead, as a matter of fact, an existence of jumpiness and apprehension. They sit on the edge of the chair of Literature. In the house of Life they have the feeling that they have never taken off their overcoats."
- James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times
- James Thurber, My Life and Hard Times
Showing posts with label murder on the hoof. Show all posts
Showing posts with label murder on the hoof. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Friday, May 16, 2014
Prizes for all!
Releasing a book is an exciting event. You want to celebrate, and you want the world to celebrate with you. Bring on the champagne!
The caviar!
The giveaways and promotions!
Having other books already published means that everyone can join in the celebration. MURDER ON THE HOOF is my seventh, so in honor of a new release, I'm giving you a chance at getting my other six either for free or for a greatly reduced price.
First on the list: It's a Real Steal!
FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH: ONE LUCKY MEMOIR is on sale today through Wednesday, the 21st. For only 99 cents, you can download this ebook and be reading it within mere moments. It's regularly $3.99, so this is a significant savings.
Go here to get your copy - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D0HDYRQ
Already have it? Perhaps you have a horse (or animal) loving friend who would enjoy it. Are you aware that you can gift Kindle books to other people's Kindles? What a great (and inexpensive) way to say thank you, I love you, or any other message you want to send!
There are more on the horizon, so stay tuned, Peeps!
The caviar!
The giveaways and promotions!
Having other books already published means that everyone can join in the celebration. MURDER ON THE HOOF is my seventh, so in honor of a new release, I'm giving you a chance at getting my other six either for free or for a greatly reduced price.
First on the list: It's a Real Steal!
FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH: ONE LUCKY MEMOIR is on sale today through Wednesday, the 21st. For only 99 cents, you can download this ebook and be reading it within mere moments. It's regularly $3.99, so this is a significant savings.
Go here to get your copy - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D0HDYRQ
Already have it? Perhaps you have a horse (or animal) loving friend who would enjoy it. Are you aware that you can gift Kindle books to other people's Kindles? What a great (and inexpensive) way to say thank you, I love you, or any other message you want to send!
There are more on the horizon, so stay tuned, Peeps!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Another taste
What's that? You want another excerpt from MURDER ON THE HOOF? Of course! I'm nothing if not a gracious hostess, even on my blog.
Meet Tyler Ransome.
* * * * *
Meet Tyler Ransome.
* * * * *
Tyler stepped into his tack room and grabbed
a bottle of water from his cooler. When he moved to southern California three
years ago, he was glad Fermino and Arizona were in his rearview mirror. Seeing
Bobby in Burbank a year ago surprised him. Finding out he was working out of
another trainer’s stable, as an assistant, shocked the hell out of him. Then he
got his own spread, under his name. Too quickly, in Tyler’s mind, but Bobby was
always working an angle.
That hadn’t changed.
Turning to step out of the tack room, his
boot struck something metallic, sending it rolling out the door. He picked it
up. It was a travel mug, but it wasn’t his. And none of his riders had been
here today.
An image came to mind, of the small brunette
with Emily—Willie? That was a weird name. She’d had a cup in her hands when she
walked up to him. He turned the mug around. There was a picture of a spaceship
on the side with the title “Full Tilt” in chaotic lettering. He chuckled. “Full
Tilt” was the long-running science fiction show starring Kirk T. Williams, one
of the generous benefactors of the center.
Figures, he thought, Willie would have a sci-fi travel mug. She looked like one of those
girls he knew in college. Bright women who hid their attractiveness behind
glasses and hunched shoulders. They were all sharp as tacks and scared the hell
out of him at the time. Now, they only intimidated him.
Willie’s shoulders were not hunched, but
Tyler could tell how much she discounted her beauty. Confident women stood
taller in his presence and looked him in the eye. They smiled, flirted. Emily’s
client kept her eyes to herself. Too bad she had to poke poor Belle and crow-hop
down the rail to him. It couldn’t have helped her self-esteem, even if she
didn’t fall off.
He was still staring at the mug and thinking
about the smile on Willie’s face as she loped Belle around, when a familiar
voice startled him back to the present.
“Trying to sound out the letters?”
Tyler’s head whipped up, his eyes wide. A
tall blonde stood in front of him, leggy in her tight blue jeans and showing
plenty of enhanced cleavage in a low-cut peasant blouse. She may have aged out
of the rodeo queen circuit, but she wasn’t surrendering her youth without a
fight. There were a few lines as her blue eyes sparkled and her full mouth
turned upward in a taunting smile.
“What are you doing here, Missy?” He forced
the words from his throat.
“Is that any way to greet your ex-wife?” Her
voice had a purring Texas drawl that tightened his jaw even further.
The marriage ended five years ago. Two years
of that consisted of fighting before the divorce finally took, banishing him
from Scottsdale. Melissa had gotten everything, including the ranch he bought
before they married, all his stock, and full custody of their son, Zac. Tyler
managed to keep his stud horse, Cats Blue Boy.
“Coming to see if there’s anything else you
can squeeze out of me?”
The smile never left her face, although her
eyes hardened. “Of course not. Daddy’s lookin’ for a new horse for me to show.
Got anything we might like?”
Missy had always been active in the Quarter
Horse Association, from her days as a youth rider, to her current status as an
amateur. During their marriage, Tyler realized how little she actually cared
about horses. With Missy, it was all about the status of riding the most
expensive horse while wearing the most expensive clothes. Every year, she went
to the World Invitational Show, and every year she had a two-page ad in the Quarter Horse Journal, extolling her
virtues.
“I wouldn’t sell you a stick horse.”
“Well, that’s a pity. You know how Daddy
loves a bargain, and I’m sure you don’t have anything that would break our
bank. Perhaps some of the larger trainers have something in our price range.”
She turned, then looked back over her shoulder. “I hear Bobby’s in town. Maybe
he’s got a horse for me.”
There were a number of things Tyler wanted to
say. Most of them were variations on how much he hated her. All of them
included profanity.
He bit his tongue until she left.
“God. Damned. Witch. From. Hell.” Each word
fell with a step as he strode down the barn aisle, gripping Willie’s coffee
mug. “I need a walk.”
As he marched around the corner, he thought
about his son. He hadn’t dared ask about him, although he was dying to know.
His heart ached, wanting to see Zac again. He’d be eleven now. He wondered if
he was walking again, or talking.
Every time Tyler thought about Zac slumped in
his wheelchair, he thought about that night—and wanted to dig his own grave and
climb in.
* * * * *
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
The countdown has started
Next Wednesday, my new book, MURDER ON THE HOOF, will be released on ebook for Kindle. It's a departure for me, with new characters in a new venue, doing things a little differently than Skip and Peri. For one thing, my main character is an amateur sleuth, forced to investigate a murder because she is the primary suspect. As you can imagine, no one wants to cooperate with her, especially the police.
And no, her BFF isn't a coroner. She's a horse trainer.
For all you Benny lovers out there, I'm sorry there is no Dino-worshipping in this book. There are a couple of actors, both of TV and movies, who appear. I'm not giving them real names, but perhaps you'll be able to connect the dots.
Here's the jacket copy, and an excerpt:
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
There's more to come...
And no, her BFF isn't a coroner. She's a horse trainer.
For all you Benny lovers out there, I'm sorry there is no Dino-worshipping in this book. There are a couple of actors, both of TV and movies, who appear. I'm not giving them real names, but perhaps you'll be able to connect the dots.
Here's the jacket copy, and an excerpt:
* * * * *
She was looking for a horse. What she found
was romance. And danger.
Willie
Adams is at the L.A. Equestrian Center shopping for her first horse. A young
widow struggling with the idea of dating again, she never expected that a
gorgeous trainer like Tyler Ransome would notice her. But he did.
He
wasn’t the only one, either. Bobby Fermino is not as handsome, nor as pleasant.
After attacking Willie he ends up dead in her tack room, leaving her the most
likely suspect.
Willie
has to convince Detective Lucas Macy that she’s innocent, but her physical
attraction to him isn’t making the task easy.
With
growing evidence pointing to her, and two famous actors drawing attention to
the investigation, Willie decides to take the reins. She must find the murderer
before they find her, but will she survive opening her heart to someone new?
* * * * *
It wasn’t the first time a handsome man
looked through her, and she figured it wouldn’t be the last. It was, however,
the first time a pair of blue eyes made Willie want to turn and run. Their
glacial hue popped from the dark lashes and eyebrows, punctuating a face of
such angular ruggedness and spectacular beauty, she suppressed a gasp.
Her heart balked, but she planted her feet.
“Tyler Ransome?” She extended her hand. “I’m
Willie Adams. My trainer, Emily Jungers, is meeting me here to look at one of
your horses.”
He remained in his seat and stretched his
hand to meet hers—a slow, deliberate move, as if he was considering whether to
shake her hand or not. His palm felt firm and dry, one pump of a shake, then
withdrawn.
“Nice to meet you.”
Willie glanced into the stall used as a
makeshift tack room. A rack holding saddles and blankets was visible in the
shadows. She could still see a corner of the large red sign hung on the front
of the barn aisle, proclaiming “Tyler Ransome Performance Horses” in large
black letters. Two canvas-backed folding chairs sat, unopened, against the
chipped, faded beige wood.
She gripped the travel mug of coffee in her
hands, and found herself taking small, nervous sips to fill the silence. The
warm aroma of hazelnut caffeine was chased by the smell of hay and horses and
leather.
“Seems a little cooler this morning.” Her soft
voice jarred against the quiet, but she felt the need to conquer her
uneasiness.
He nodded, the brim of his faded blue
baseball cap shading his eyes from the July sun.
So much for the weather, she thought. Perhaps
I could ask him how he likes the Dodgers. Of course, it would help if I knew
something about baseball.
A rattle of spurs made her look up, thankful
for the distraction. Emily Jungers, a tall, lithe redhead, strode toward them
and held out her hand. “Tyler, good to see you.”
“Hey, Em, how are you?” The cowboy unfolded
his long limbs from the chair and stood, offering his hand in return. “You
wanted to see the little mare?” He pointed down the barn aisle and strolled
away with Emily.
Willie took a step to follow, then looked
down at the mug in her hands. Once a comfort, it now felt awkward. She glanced
around. There was no table outside to leave it on, so she went to the tack room
and stuck it inside the door, then hurried after the two trainers.
Emily’s long steps were easily keeping up
with Tyler. The only way to catch up to them would involve running. Willie
decided to get there when she got there.
Damned long-legged people, she thought. Would
it kill them to wait for me?
The stalls on both sides of the barn aisle
had horses in them, all hanging their heads over the Dutch doors. She looked at
her watch. It was a little past ten, so they were probably waiting on a
mid-morning snack. The air was warming toward its goal in the high eighties, a
typical summer day in southern California. She savored the beauty of each horse
as she walked by, then observed the people walking in front of her.
The girls at her stable were right. When she
had mentioned him, Elliot’s owner Barbara had said, “Ooh, Tyler Ransome, rhymes
with handsome.” He was easily a head taller than Emily, broad-shouldered and
lean under his tan T-shirt. Of course, she couldn’t see much of his face from
her current position, but the view was still mesmerizing.
What’s wrong with me? I’m way too old to be
gasping at a pretty boy. And what would I want with him anyway? We have nothing
in common. A face like that, he’s got to be a player. He’s not like my Hank at
all.
Hank had been gone for three years now,
leaving her a widow at barely thirty. The good news was there were no children
to raise without him. The bad news was she would have adored raising his
children. Photographs and videos couldn’t be hugged in the middle of a bad
night, and her memories of their carefree marriage did not feel like much of a
legacy.
* * * * *
There's more to come...
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Stop me, somebody.
My latest book is due to be released in a little over a month. The ebook will be out on Kindle May 21st (Wednesday). The paperback will be out on May 24th, a Saturday. I was agonizing over where to have a release party, until I figured out I needed to work in the morning, then I was invited to a party in the afternoon. I thought about a party on Sunday, but I'm scheduled to be at an event that day, too. So I shall raise a glass at each location and toast the birth of my seventh book-child.
Why am I waiting so long to release MURDER ON THE HOOF? Mostly to set up any advance publicity and marketing. Get a blurb for the press release. Line up some appearances, either at bookstores or online. Do the publisher-thing.
If I can just get the author to stop screwing with the manuscript.
Yes, I've had the book professionally edited. Yes, I was more than happy with the edits. I was satisfied, contented, assured that the changes were good and necessary and made my book better. One of the things I like to do with each book is to read a proof copy of the paperback version, and read a copy on my Kindle. The same words seem to look wildly different, and I find additional ways to tighten the writing.
I'm now on my second paperback proof. It looks good. Perhaps more than good. I love it, from the cover to the words on the page. And yet... I can always find one little change that would make it better. Or would it?
Here's a paragraph I thought was good:
Here's how I thought it would be better:
Is it really so much better that I should continue to tweak? (Note: I said tweak, not twerk.)
I may need an intervention. Can anyone out there get me to step away from the manuscript and put down the red pen?
Why am I waiting so long to release MURDER ON THE HOOF? Mostly to set up any advance publicity and marketing. Get a blurb for the press release. Line up some appearances, either at bookstores or online. Do the publisher-thing.
If I can just get the author to stop screwing with the manuscript.
Yes, I've had the book professionally edited. Yes, I was more than happy with the edits. I was satisfied, contented, assured that the changes were good and necessary and made my book better. One of the things I like to do with each book is to read a proof copy of the paperback version, and read a copy on my Kindle. The same words seem to look wildly different, and I find additional ways to tighten the writing.
I'm now on my second paperback proof. It looks good. Perhaps more than good. I love it, from the cover to the words on the page. And yet... I can always find one little change that would make it better. Or would it?
Here's a paragraph I thought was good:
Willie
brought the back of her hand across his face. He took a step backward and
glowered at her, so she made a fist and punched his nose, knocking him into the
table. She didn’t want to stop. Grabbing at the cart next to her, she pulled
out a pair of scissors and lurched toward him. The fear on his face made her
look up at the weapon she was about to plunge into him. Reality, reason, and
good sense returned to her in a flash.
Here's how I thought it would be better:
His weakness
fueled her rage. Willie brought the back of her hand across his face. He took a
step backward and glowered at her, so she made a fist and punched his nose,
knocking him into the table.
Her hand
stung, but she didn’t want to stop. Grabbing at the cart next to her, she
pulled out a pair of scissors and lurched toward him. The fear on his face made
her look up at the weapon she was about to plunge into him.
Reality,
reason, and good sense returned to her in a flash.
Is it really so much better that I should continue to tweak? (Note: I said tweak, not twerk.)
I may need an intervention. Can anyone out there get me to step away from the manuscript and put down the red pen?
Friday, April 4, 2014
Happy Friday!
I have a bunch of paperwork to fill out this morning, but I have a few random things on my mind:
1. My friend, DeAnna Cameron, has been busily building an audience for her online magazine, Lit Central OC. It's a great repository of information for writers, aimed at supporting those of us in Orange County. If you live in the OC and you are a writer, you should subscribe (it's free). DeAnna would like us to become a large network of writers who help each other - wouldn't that be good?
I was lucky enough to be featured on the magazine this week (Author Spotlight, and Spotlight Excerpt). And when I say lucky, I mean it. Don't think for one second that my friendship with DeAnna made any difference. She's got plenty of authors in the big writing pool to pull from. I'm just honored that I got a slot.
2. I've decided on a release date for MURDER ON THE HOOF. The ebook will be released for sale on Kindle Wednesday, May 21. You can sit in your comfiest chair and order it in your PJs. The paperback version will get a full-blown party on Saturday, May 24. I don't know where, yet, but I'm working on it.
Got any ideas?
1. My friend, DeAnna Cameron, has been busily building an audience for her online magazine, Lit Central OC. It's a great repository of information for writers, aimed at supporting those of us in Orange County. If you live in the OC and you are a writer, you should subscribe (it's free). DeAnna would like us to become a large network of writers who help each other - wouldn't that be good?
I was lucky enough to be featured on the magazine this week (Author Spotlight, and Spotlight Excerpt). And when I say lucky, I mean it. Don't think for one second that my friendship with DeAnna made any difference. She's got plenty of authors in the big writing pool to pull from. I'm just honored that I got a slot.
2. I've decided on a release date for MURDER ON THE HOOF. The ebook will be released for sale on Kindle Wednesday, May 21. You can sit in your comfiest chair and order it in your PJs. The paperback version will get a full-blown party on Saturday, May 24. I don't know where, yet, but I'm working on it.
Got any ideas?
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
The blurb
No, not burp. Blurb. As in, jacket blurb, aka jacket copy. It's the words on the back cover of a book, in the description on Amazon, the tease that tells you why the cover has enticed you to pick it up and confirms your desire to open the pages and READ THE STORY.
I've been working on this most of this afternoon. I'm now officially too close to the words, so close I may not even understand what they're saying anymore. Do you know what that means?
Yes, it means I put it up here on the blog and see what my crowd of, like, 24 people think about it. Picture yourself cruising through a library/bookstore/Amazon, looking for something to read. You see the cover:
Intrigued, you pick it up and read the description:
* * * * *
Willie Adams is shopping for her first horse during a
week-long show at the Los Angeles Equestrian Center. She’s a young widow who is
ready to date again, in
theory. In reality, the first time gorgeous Tyler Ransome smiles at her, she
wants to run the opposite direction. He has a horse she might want to buy, but
she finds herself clumsy and tongue-tied in his presence.
Another horse trainer, Bobby Fermino, shows too much
interest in her. Things get ugly fast, and she has to fight him off. When he
turns up murdered, Willie is the most likely suspect. Enter Lucas Macy, an attractive
detective with a lilting English accent. Willie is drawn to him sexually, but she's confused by his
behavior. One minute he's warm and seductive, and the next he's cold and businesslike.
As Macy and his partner unravel the clues, Willie realizes
she has two options. She can let the police do their job, or do her own
sleuthing and hand them the real killer.
She also has two choices: the handsome cowboy or sexy
detective?
* * * * *
So...do you have to read more now?
Thursday, January 9, 2014
It don't come easy
For anyone out there who thinks that self-publishing is a shortcut for people who don't want to spend the quality time seeking out representation, hoping to get a publisher, then sitting back and waiting two years to see their book on the shelves, let me tell you something:
If it is, I'm doing it wrong.
In September, I completed my manuscript, Murder on the Hoof. So far, I've edited it myself 5 times, sent it to beta readers and incorporated their comments, sent it to my freelance editor for additional, professional editing, and worked with my cover designer.
Believe it or not, the cover's been the hardest part of this particular book. For some reason, Joe (Felipe, my cover designer whom I adore) and I could not come up with a design that worked. We started the work in November, for Pete's sake, and just kept swapping this for that for the other thing. It was much like getting dressed to go someplace a little more upscale than you usually visit - you put on an outfit, then change the top, then the bottom, then the top again, and so on until you find that combination that works.
When I opened Joe's email today, I nearly wept. It was soooo good.
Ladies and Gents, I give to you...
Isn't lovely? I still have to write the jacket blurb, but first I have to get my editor's comments folded in. My author's heart is getting really excited. My publisher's heart is saying, "Calm down. We're a long way from a release party."
If it is, I'm doing it wrong.
In September, I completed my manuscript, Murder on the Hoof. So far, I've edited it myself 5 times, sent it to beta readers and incorporated their comments, sent it to my freelance editor for additional, professional editing, and worked with my cover designer.
Believe it or not, the cover's been the hardest part of this particular book. For some reason, Joe (Felipe, my cover designer whom I adore) and I could not come up with a design that worked. We started the work in November, for Pete's sake, and just kept swapping this for that for the other thing. It was much like getting dressed to go someplace a little more upscale than you usually visit - you put on an outfit, then change the top, then the bottom, then the top again, and so on until you find that combination that works.
When I opened Joe's email today, I nearly wept. It was soooo good.
Ladies and Gents, I give to you...
Isn't lovely? I still have to write the jacket blurb, but first I have to get my editor's comments folded in. My author's heart is getting really excited. My publisher's heart is saying, "Calm down. We're a long way from a release party."
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Checking in
When we last left Gayle, she was up to her thyroid in edits of the new mystery, Murder On The Hoof. Let's check in and see what she's doing today...
Okay, the good news is, I don't have to add a whole week to the timeline. I'm not going to add a bunch of filler just to stretch the story. (Aside: I once had a girl tell me she was going to write a book. She said, "I've got all the key scenes written down. so all I have to do is write a bunch of filler in between." I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry.)
The bad news is, I do have to re-arrange a few scenes and start the action on Monday instead of Wednesday. Is that important? Wellllll...
Standard AQHA shows are Thursday through Sunday. A longer show, like the Sun Circuit, might last from Saturday through to the following weekend. I need my story to end on Saturday. If I start it on the previous Saturday, I've got at least two days that end up as some kind of "the next two days seemed to crawl by as Willie waited for X to happen."
Lame-O.
But if the show starts on Tuesday, the timeline works. Willie and her trainer load in on Monday, someone dies, and off we go. Perfect.
All I have to do is convince my readers that it's perfect timing. Wish me luck.
Okay, the good news is, I don't have to add a whole week to the timeline. I'm not going to add a bunch of filler just to stretch the story. (Aside: I once had a girl tell me she was going to write a book. She said, "I've got all the key scenes written down. so all I have to do is write a bunch of filler in between." I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry.)
The bad news is, I do have to re-arrange a few scenes and start the action on Monday instead of Wednesday. Is that important? Wellllll...
Standard AQHA shows are Thursday through Sunday. A longer show, like the Sun Circuit, might last from Saturday through to the following weekend. I need my story to end on Saturday. If I start it on the previous Saturday, I've got at least two days that end up as some kind of "the next two days seemed to crawl by as Willie waited for X to happen."
Lame-O.
But if the show starts on Tuesday, the timeline works. Willie and her trainer load in on Monday, someone dies, and off we go. Perfect.
All I have to do is convince my readers that it's perfect timing. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Editing - it's not for wimps
I've started the first round of editing of Murder On The Hoof. How many rounds are there, typically? It depends. I always have five editing steps.
1. Sweeping read-through where I get rid of my go-to words and do clean up work.
2. One read-aloud, where I re-work sections that sound really good in my head and really bad in my mouth.
3. One read-aloud into a digital voice recorder, where I play it back and just listen to what needs to be re-worked.
4. One analytical read-through, where I outline what I've written and look at the pacing and structure.
5. One read-through to verify that all my edits were successful.
I can have several rounds of each step, so it can be a long process.
Murder On The Hoof will take a lot of editing. So much of it came so quickly, I'm finding wacky things, like photos that were supposed to have been taken by someone who is already dead. (No, there will be no zombies in this novel.)
Plus, as soon as I typed THE END I knew I would have to go back in and add a week to the timeline (it will be abbreviated). After creating a fictional horse show that is two weeks long so I could use some already-expedited forensics tests, I wrapped the whole thing up in the first weekend.
Yeah, that can't happen.
After my editing, I'll be soliciting my beta readers. Who to chose...
1. Sweeping read-through where I get rid of my go-to words and do clean up work.
2. One read-aloud, where I re-work sections that sound really good in my head and really bad in my mouth.
3. One read-aloud into a digital voice recorder, where I play it back and just listen to what needs to be re-worked.
4. One analytical read-through, where I outline what I've written and look at the pacing and structure.
5. One read-through to verify that all my edits were successful.
I can have several rounds of each step, so it can be a long process.
Murder On The Hoof will take a lot of editing. So much of it came so quickly, I'm finding wacky things, like photos that were supposed to have been taken by someone who is already dead. (No, there will be no zombies in this novel.)
Plus, as soon as I typed THE END I knew I would have to go back in and add a week to the timeline (it will be abbreviated). After creating a fictional horse show that is two weeks long so I could use some already-expedited forensics tests, I wrapped the whole thing up in the first weekend.
Yeah, that can't happen.
After my editing, I'll be soliciting my beta readers. Who to chose...
Monday, September 9, 2013
The first cut's always the deepest
And the first chapter is always the hardest. Did I start at the right place? Is my opening strong enough? Will the reader keep reading?
I'm almost, this-close to finishing the new mystery, aka Murder on the Hoof. Everything about it has been difficult, but especially the opening. My Peri series usually opens with the crime, followed by Peri and her cohorts discovering whodunit. I didn't want this one to start like that.
So here's the first chapter. It hasn't been edited yet, so it's probably rough. If you have comments, that's great. If not, that's okay, too. I think I just wanted to get this out in public so I could stand back and go, "Hmm, yes, now that I see it..."
* * * *
MURDER ON THE HOOF: CHAPTER ONE
* * * *
I'm almost, this-close to finishing the new mystery, aka Murder on the Hoof. Everything about it has been difficult, but especially the opening. My Peri series usually opens with the crime, followed by Peri and her cohorts discovering whodunit. I didn't want this one to start like that.
So here's the first chapter. It hasn't been edited yet, so it's probably rough. If you have comments, that's great. If not, that's okay, too. I think I just wanted to get this out in public so I could stand back and go, "Hmm, yes, now that I see it..."
* * * *
MURDER ON THE HOOF: CHAPTER ONE
It was his blue eyes that made Willie want to
turn and run. The color of arctic glaciers, their iciness popped from the long
dark eyelashes surrounding them. He used them quite effectively, staring through
her with no expression.
It wasn’t the first time a pretty boy looked
through her, and at her age, it wouldn’t be the last. Her gaze flinched, but she
planted her feet.
“Tyler?” she asked, extending her hand. “I’m
Willie Adams. My trainer, Emily Jungers, is meeting me here to look at one of
your horses.”
He remained in his seat and stretched out his
hand to meet hers. It was a slow, deliberate move, as if he considered whether
to shake her hand or not. His palm felt firm and stiff, one pump of a shake,
then withdrawn.
“Nice to meet you.”
Willie glanced at the makeshift tack room, a stall
used to contain saddles and blankets during the horse show. She could still see
a corner of the large red sign hung on the front of the barn aisle, proclaiming
“Tyler Ransome Performance Horses” in large black letters. Two canvas-backed
folding chairs sat, unopened, against the faded beige wood. Within the shadows
beyond the door, she spied saddles on racks.
She looked down at the travel mug of coffee
in her hands, and found herself taking small, nervous sips to fill the silence.
The warm aroma of hazelnut caffeine was crowded by the smell of hay and horses
and leather. A rattle of spurs made her look away, thankful for the break from discomfort.
Emily Jungers, a tall, lithe redhead, strode toward them and held out her hand.
“Tyler, good to see you.”
The cowboy unfolded his long limbs from the
chair and stood, offering his hand in return. “You wanted to see the little
mare?” He pointed down the barn aisle and strolled away with Emily.
Willie took a step to follow, then looked
down at the cup in her hands. Once a comforting distraction, it now felt
awkward. She glanced around. There was no table outside to leave it, so she
went to the tack room and stuck the cup inside the door, then scampered after
the two trainers.
She watched Emily’s long legs keeping an easy
stride with Tyler, but Willie either had to trot to catch them or continue to
walk smoothly with her short legs and get there when she got there.
Damned
long-legged people, she
thought. Would it kill them to slow down
for us shorties?
Horses stuck their heads over stall doors on
either side. She looked at her watch. It was just past ten, so they were
probably waiting on a mid-morning snack. The air was warming toward its goal in
the high eighties, a typical July day in southern California. She looked at
each face as she walked by, savoring their beauty, then regarded the people
walking in front of her.
The girls at her stable were right. When she
had mentioned him, Elliot’s owner Barbara had said, “Ooh, Tyler Ransome, rhymes
with handsome.” He was easily a head taller than Emily, broad-shouldered and
lean under his grey tee-shirt. Strong features in a chiseled face, with bright
blue eyes and full lips, he was model perfect. She usually could not be
charmed, much less starry-eyed, by such a beautiful man, but she found herself
keeping her distance from him and trying not to look his direction.
It was not the reaction she expected. What would I want with a pretty boy, she
thought. A horse trainer at that. I’ve
been riding horses for two years. He’s been with them for, basically, ever. We
have nothing in common. He’s not like my Hank at all.
Hank had been gone for three years now,
leaving her a young widow. The good news was that she wasn’t left to raise any
children without him. The bad news was that she would have welcomed the chance
to raise his children. Photographs and videos couldn’t be hugged in the middle
of a bad night, and her memories of their carefree marriage did not feel like
much of a legacy.
She caught up with the pair at a stall, where
a tall, bright bay stood, craning its neck over the door, as if asking for a
treat.
“This is Cat’s Liberty Belle,” Tyler said as
he opened the door, then slipped a halter on the horse’s head. He led the mare
out and walked her to Emily.
Willie knew better than to say anything, even
if she thought the horse was gorgeous, which she did. Emily had told her before
they started shopping for a horse, that it was much like buying a car.
“If the seller thinks you’re excited about
this horse, it doesn’t leave you a lot of wiggle room with the price,” Emily
had said. “And no matter how much you like a horse, everything can change with
the vet check.”
Keeping her trainer’s advice in mind, Willie
tried to keep the sparkle from her eyes as she looked at the six-year-old mare,
who stood quietly with her head down and her back foot cocked in relaxation. In
the meantime, she watched Emily run her hand across the horse’s withers, down
her back to her rump, then stand back.
“She’s a little bigger than my client needs,
but I’d like to try her out,” Emily said.
Willie nodded, if only to look agreeable.
This mare was beautiful, but big. At 5’4”, Willie didn’t consider herself tiny,
but this horse’s withers looked at least that tall. That meant 16 hands; she
had been hoping for something a little shorter, maybe 15 hands, when the horse
wore new shoes and stood very straight.
“I’ll throw a saddle on her and meet you in
the warm-up arena in fifteen minutes,” Tyler told them and led Belle up to his
tack area.
Emily looked at her and turned toward the
arenas, so Willie followed. They passed by the row of shopping stands at the
edge of the warm-up arena. Most of the displays were empty, and a few were
still in the assembly stage. The horse show didn’t officially start until
tomorrow, but most of the competitors arrived a day early to set up their
stalls and acclimate their horses. Vendors did likewise, just in case someone
needed fly spray or new reins.
“She’s awfully big,” Willie told Emily on
their way to the arena.
“I know you want something smaller, but she’s
a good mover, a good age, and pretty quiet. She’s been shown in pleasure and
trail, so she wouldn’t need any new training for you. And I know Tyler.”
Willie cocked an eyebrow at her.
“Not like that.” Emily shook her head, her
long auburn ponytail swaying behind her AQHA baseball cap. “I mean, I’ve bought
horses from him before. He’s straight-up, always interested in finding a good
fit for his buyers. You’d be surprised how many people try to pawn off a horse
with a navicular condition or even dope them up so they look super quiet. Tyler’s
not like that.”
Willie ran the word ‘navicular’ through the
list of horse terms she kept stored in her brain. She knew it had something to
do with having bad feet.
They arrived at the arena and sat on the
stone wall to wait for the horse. Soon, they saw the tall cowboy leading Belle,
who followed along, her head level with her withers, typical of a relaxed
Quarter horse.
Emily turned to Willie. “Just remember, this
is a two-week show with a lot of horses here. This isn’t the only one we’ll
look at. Even if we don’t find your horse here, one of these trainers may have
a horse at home for us.”
There had never been an AQHA horse show this
large in southern California, but the Los Angeles Equestrian Center had
recently expanded, adding four covered arenas and expanding their warm-up areas,
thanks to a recent endowment by two legendary actors. Each had taken up horse
riding over the years and now competed with each other in reining events as
well as at the box office.
In response to their generosity, the center
had named an arena for each actor, and in response to the expansion, the
American Quarter Horse Association had scheduled a two-week show. Everything
from pleasure riding, to jumping, to speed events and cow and ranch horse
classes were offered, to showcase the versatility of the breed.
Now Willie sat at the edge of the Kirk T.
Williams arena, preparing to buy her first horse and wondering both why she was
doing this, and what took her so long.
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