I see funny people

I've got other things to do today but sometimes a thing gets hold of my brain and I have to clear it out before I can get to anything else. A thought clog, if you will.

Someone posted a thing on Facebook recently that basically said you can tell someone's intelligence by their sense of humor. At first, I thought that was right, because there is a certain level of smart that allows you to enjoy erudite, New Yorker humor.

Then I remembered what I've learned about humor over the years and I reconsidered.

So I'm going to attempt, in a single post(!) to try to ease your mind about why you have a PhD and still laugh at fart jokes. Ready?

Here's the thing about humor: it is completely subjective. I'm sure there are scientists who've done all kinds of tests to figure out where "funny" lives in our bodies and quantify humor, etc. I'm not sure how successful they've been.

We call it a "sense of humor" for a reason. I know we've all been sold on the five senses (six if you're Haley Joel Osment), but scientists have found a lot more.

Typically our "senses" are defined as physical reactions to external stimuli, but some external stimuli are subtle (e.g. our sense of our own physical space--we can touch our nose with our eyes closed). Scientists have defined between 14-20 senses (again, not counting HJO) and are probably still looking for more.

What does this have to do with your sense of humor? Pretty much everything. I like brussels sprouts. You may hate them. Why? "Because they're yucky," is not an answer. You don't like the way they taste and your taste is neither good nor evil--it's just your taste.

Why do you laugh at a joke? "Because it's funny," is not the answer. Why is it that you can understand a joke, understand why it is meant to be funny, and yet not feel any spontaneous laughter from it? Again, your sense of humor is not good or bad--it's just your humor. 

Which means that maybe you were laughing at The Three Stooges as a kid and still laugh at them because you can't help it if they make your stomach shake and your lungs dance and tears roll down your face. You can be a nuclear physicist or a clerk in the store. 

Your funny is YOUR funny, no matter what your IQ is.

For my writer friends, here is an additional point I'd like to make:

When we're faced with a food we don't like, we don't eat it, and say, "Thank you, but I don't like peas." We own that as our taste preference. (Unless we're in grade school where there is a lot of pointing and, "You gonna eat THAT?")

When we're faced with a joke, or a book, or a movie, that does not make us laugh, we don't smile and say, "Thank you, but I don't like slapstick humor." We say, "It didn't make me laugh, therefore IT WASN'T FUNNY." Somehow our own taste in humor has been spread about to become everyone's taste in humor.

Which means that if you are writing humor and intend it to reach an audience and get the best audience you can, you need to be specific about your brand of funny. Are puns your forte? Anecdotal stories? Do your characters drip with stunning sarcastic wit?

Tell your audience what they should expect. And then scrub yourself daily with steel wool--if you write humor, you're gonna need thick skin.

Levitation

It's a quick post today, just because I don't want to keep checking in on the blog and seeing such a somber remembrance. I don't want to forget, but I do get rather emotionally exhausted everytime I think about last weekend and the horror.

I don't know about you, but I need a little levity. Here's some.



This was back in the days when SNL was funny. Too bad you kids missed it.

So much time and so few brains

It's a short post today. My mind is all kerfuffled because my new book is finally available for sale on Amazon, in paperback and Kindle. It's another humor collection: two more years of merriment, punctuated by editorial quirks and readers' opinions. It will also be available on Barnes & Noble, on e-reader stores everywhere, and you can order it from any bookstore.

I thought I knew what I was doing with this book, having released two others through Createspace, Kindle Direct, and Smashwords. And yet... once I pressed the magic buttons, I've been obsessed with whether my book is available so I can put a Media Release on the website and talk about it on Facebook and Twitter and yadda yadda, none of which I could do until the book was available for purchase.

I'm also doing a giveaway on Goodreads, which starts on Halloween, if you want to get in on that. I'll be offering autographed copies via Paypal, too, as soon as I get my copies, which should be next week at the latest.

This craziness has made me forget a few things, like posting the essay I had written for the Crime Fiction Collective. Oopsie. LJ Sellers was a doll about it and tossed up a post about what we're all looking forward to reading. Check it out and try to forgive me for being the little eclectic redheaded stepchild. My post will be up on Saturday for your enjoyment.

In the meantime - check out the new book!

Guess who came to visit?

Author Regan Black is guesting on my blog today. She is a paranormal romance writer, which is very exciting, since I hardly ever get anyone of another genre on my blog. Actually, I don't remember EVER having someone of another genre here. I'd better get out the tea and fairy cakes, or she won't think I'm any kind of hostess at all.

So without further ado, take it away, Regan:

* * * * *

I'm excited to be here today at Gayle's invitation. When she posted a 'cross-pollination' request I jumped on it. Then wondered over how to do it, since humor and paranormal romance are at rather different places on the publishing spectrum.

But Gayle's a brave person with bright ideas. She said, "Well, I could talk about how to write funny (no, not funny peculiar, funny ha-ha), and you could talk about how to write abnormal - I mean PARAnormal. LOL"

In all honesty, I wanted to be Gayle. And not just because she has horses. When I set out to write, I wanted to write humor. But while (folks tell me) I'm hysterical in conversation, the more I wrote, the more I smothered any humor in my writing voice with dark characters, mysterious skillsets, and wicked twisted plot lines.


So here I am, happy to talk about why and how I write abnormal/paranormal.

It took a few years, but I accepted that if I can't write funny ha-ha, I'd better follow my twisted story strengths into the paranormal realms. I tried to fight it, tried to write to the 'standard level of darkness' most publishing houses would accept, but I just couldn't reel it in. During a conference mixer one of the speakers asked me what I was writing when the words flowed effortlessly. I admitted to her (and finally to myself) it was some really dark and edgy stuff. (Yes, I did let loose a rather evil little chuckle just thinking about it). She told me to follow those words, to embrace those scenes, and let it out.

It worked. When I gave myself permission to tell the rather abnormal - I mean PARAnormal - story swirling around in my head, Justice Incarnate was born and became my first sale! Hooray!

Writing paranormal and combining it with romance serves my innate curiosity about storytelling. I love my process when writing the story offers up big and little surprises and connections along the way. For me, writing paranormal romance means combining a great adventure with the discovery of a great love. Fantasy? Sure! But that's the point. The paranormal angle sets my imagination free. When I started out, using real places in real time made me feel obligated to use them correctly, even as I admire those writers who can use a known setting with literary license.

As my writing skills continue to grow and improve with every book and writing effort, I feel readers can expect the same imagination and fantasy escape reading from me, no matter the setting. Though I've put out stories that are more lighthearted (The Hobbitville saga) my imagination still insists on applying a paranormal element. But that's okay, it's my strong suit. When authors find and embrace their strengths (Gayle's humor, my PARA-normalities) they tap into the real magic of writing and readers are in for a treat!

Live the adventure!

Regan

* * * * *

Isn't she fun? I urge you, beg you, ask you most politely, to check out her books. I've provided the links above to Justice Incarnate and The Pixie Chicks, but here's the link to her entire list of Kindle titles - http://tinyurl.com/regan-kindle.

If you want to know more about Regan, visit her at http://www.reganblack.com.

I'm ready!

Starting tomorrow, I'll be at the Hyatt Regency Newport Beach for the 8th annual Southern California Writers Conference - LA, and I'm really excited. Okay, I'd be slightly more excited if I was actually staying at the Hyatt, but who can afford those rates?

I'm teaching a workshop on humor, Sunday morning at 9, and I'm looking forward to sharing whatever knowledge and tools I have about writing funny. For the past few weeks, I've made notes and gathered information and quotes. Today I finished getting ready: I got a haircut, a manicure and a pedicure.

I get a haircut fairly regularly, but I haven't had a mani/pedi in well over a year, possibly two. Every time I think about getting one, I tell myself, "Your nails will be ruined tomorrow when you go to the ranch. And forget the toenails. They won't survive the cowboy boots."

But today I went to Glen Ivy Spa in Brea, where Emma (from Romania) helped me choose a nail color, then gave me a wonderful manicure, which included a mint scrub and an arm/hand massage. Afterward, she handed me over to Amanda (from California), who scrubbed and sanded my feet, and painted my toes the same color as my nails.

Emma took the nail color selection very seriously. She wanted to know what I was doing this weekend, what kind of conference, what sort of presentation I would be making. Would I be holding a book? She took all these things into consideration before she offered me two choices, a light pink and a ruby red. My decision?

When I first saw my nails I thought, ooh, shiny. Then I thought: "I've had two years to grow nails, Mother - Jungle Red!" (Norma Shearer in The Women)







Then I stopped by California Pizza Kitchen to pick up dinner for Dale and I, and the waitress said, "Wow, I like your nails. They remind me of the ruby slippers."








Yes. Ruby slippers. Kind of like my favorite purse.

So, the question is, should I use the purse this weekend to match my nails? Or should I just stop obsessing on my nails and focus on the workshop?

Ooh. Shiny.

Humor workshop, anyone?

If you've noticed my calendar of events, you'll see that I'm at the Southern California Writer's Conference in September, which is, like, a month away. I've been going to these conferences since 2006, and I've sung their praises lots of times, but this year, I'm actually teaching a workshop.

I'm so stoked!

The workshop is called, "Funny How? How am I Funny? (And How to Write it)" As you can guess, it's about writing humor. The name of the workshop came out of a website called "I Write Like". You plug in a sample of your writing and it tells you what author you write like. I submitted a paragraph from Freezer Burn and was told I write like Mark Twain. Then I submitted a paragraph from my weekly humor column and was told I write like Mario Puzo.

Wha-huh?

If you don't know, or don't want to bother with the whole click-on-his-name-thingy, Mario Puzo wrote a lot of Mafia-related books, including The Godfather. Hmm... my sense of humor is akin to The Last Don... all I could think of was Joe Pesci in Goodfellas.

"... like I amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?"

I think this is just before he shoots someone.

So the goal of my workshop is to spell out some of the pitfalls of writing humor and suggest some solutions for punching up your punchline. Ha ha - get it? I'm in the process of organizing the flow of the workshop and I think I've got the material I want to cover, but I'm wondering:

1. Should I have charts or drawings, like PowerPoint or something? I'd rather not hand out copies of things, since I do believe in Save Paper, Save the World, but I could plug in some e-charts and offer to email them to people, or even post them on my blog or website.

2. The workshop is 90 minutes long, and I'd like to engage the participants in some kind of exercise after I get finished blabbing. My thoughts are to either see if anyone is struggling with a specific piece of their humor writing and have a group session on how to fix what might be wrong, or to have everyone work individually on some of the points I'll be making, or to give them a humorous situation and have them write it up in their own style. Any preferences?

3. Here's the other thing about the workshop: It's on Sunday morning, at 9 a.m. This is after Saturday night's banquet and subsequent late-night sessions. There may be some comatose folks - should I offer coffee and donuts? I mean, there's nothing like bribing your audience, right?

Any thoughts, writers and readers?

Oh, what a tangled web we weave

It's funny how the same topic will be on so many people's minds. I had been thinking all week that as soon as I could, I wanted to blog about my website, and LJ Sellers' latest blog is about - drumroll, please - websites and blogs and whether you need both. Great minds...

In the beginning, I had a website. I got one because some expert somewhere told me I needed one if I was going to be taken seriously as a writer and get the word out about my wordsmithing prowess. Even though I'm a software engineer by training, I decided to go with a kind of 'plug-and-play' site builder because I didn't want to take the time away from my new career as a writer just to learn html. I used Yahoo's Small Business Web Hosting to pick a template and fill in the blanks. I named it www.gaylecarline.com. Genius, huh?

It took me a little while to get the content right, mostly due to the fact that I didn't know what I was doing. At the time, I was writing journalistic articles for Riding Magazine and humor columns for the Placentia News-Times. You could say I felt divided, and my website reflected it. Finally, I got it all sorted out, and added buttons to lead you to whatever half of my writing personality you wanted to hire. In an attempt to garner more interest in my humor, I also put some funny pictures with funny captions, to show people that I'm funny.

Fast forward to now: I'm being published! Freezer Burn will be out in September 2009, I have a story in Missing, which is now available, and I've started writing the second book of Peri's escapades. I still want to write my humor column. I no longer write my Riding column, but if my editor called and asked me to cover a show or interview a trainer, I'd do it in a heartbeat, just because they gave me my publishing start.

So what I'm asking is, what should my website look like now? Please take a look-see, if you've got the time and tell me: Where should I focus? What's working? What needs to go away?

Even if you don't want to give me specific suggestions for my site, how do you think your website reflects who you want people to think you are?

What should I write about?

Everyone knows about my book that's with Echelon Press and will be published whenever it's ready, whatever that means. All I know is that I've been through the editing rounds. Perhaps we're on to the swimsuit competition next. And if you've read even one of these blogs, you know about the accidental romance locked up in a folder on my laptop (yes, and on my backup drive).

But what you don't know is that there is a third book out there, and I don't mean the one I'm currently writing.

Every week, I write an essay for my very local newspaper, the Placentia News-Times. It's a mostly humorous look at my life in and around Orange County, and what my husband and son do to frustrate me. I've been doing this for almost four years now, and I enjoy it, which is why I still do it. I have a small, devoted following, some of whom ask why I don't put out a book of my columns.

Well, why don't I?

I haven't (yet) for a few reasons. The first is because I don't want a book of columns that looks like every other book of columns. The second reason is that there are lots of books of columns out there and I'm not certain I could be competitive enough. The third is that the traditional publishers I have approached with my idea of a book of columns have all said, "Um, no. No, thanks."

That being said, the idea still festers in my mind, so here is how I've been mitigating all of these obstacles:

1. Instead of tossing a bunch of columns together and calling it a book, I've written a sort of memoir that takes the reader through my journey as a columnist. It begins with why I wanted to do it in the first place, goes through how I landed the gig, and ends somewhere around my third editor. It's a chronological look at how I come up with ideas, how I deal with hate letters, etc. I've tentatively named it, "What Would Erma Do?" (Subtitle: Adventures of a First-time Humor Columnist)

2. I've considered self-publishing this book. Several experts, including Gordon Kirkland (humor essayist and author) and Michael Steven Gregory (director of Southern California Writers Conference) have encouraged me to look into this option, instead of trying to find a traditional publisher. The problem with this genre is that most publishers don't know how to market it, unless you are a FAMOUS essayist. So, Dave Barry shouldn't have any problem. I know that makes him feel better.

3. How do I make it competitive enough? Here's the really hard brick wall I've got to find a way around. I suppose I've got as strong a platform as someone like me can have, trying to claw my way out of the millions (billions?) of bloggers/websites/twitterers and make my voice heard. But a traditional publisher supplies that extra "oomph" that self-publishing does not. It's not just Gayle walking the aisles of the bookstore and handing out bookmarks. It's Gayle's publisher telling everyone, "Hey, read this! You'll like it!" Granted, I don't believe that it's the publisher's job to do all the publicity, but I do see it as being able to stand up to the neighborhood bully because your big brother is behind the door.

Lately, I've been throwing everything I've got into my novel, which is probably driving Karen Syed, my publisher, crazy (from 3,000 miles away, I can hear her thinking, "Gayle, relax, will ya?") but in February I'll go to the SCWC conference in San Diego. There will be some agents there who are looking for nonfiction works, so naturally, I'm tempted to submit my book of columns to them. Because at the end of the day, I'd like to get it published traditionally, by a reputable press.

Who thinks I'm insane? Can I see a show of hands?

I'm a bad girl (and I'm okay with that)

One of my personal demons (in a long list) is that I am a pleaser. I like to make people happy, which is such a double-edged sword. If I make people happy by doing something I don't like, I'm unhappy, but if I make people unhappy by doing something I like, I'm still unhappy. Is that clear?

I think this demon makes me good at story telling; I've learned to read my audience and adjust my tale or delivery until I see the result I want on their faces. Of course, I have no control over my readership and can't adjust my writing to make them happy. This is where my demon tortures me.

In my magazine (Western Side Story) column and my newspaper (What a Day) column, I try to entertain, enlighten and interest people. Note that I didn't use any verbs like "challenge", "bait", or "offend". There are enough columnists and bloggers who want their readers to snarl and snap at their musings. I want people to be happy. And still, I manage to offend.

Last year, a reader wrote to my newspaper editor that he hated my column. He considers me selfish, self-centered, egomaniacal, etc, because my humor column always talks about what's happening in my life. He's absolutely correct; this is because that's what my column is about. It's a slice-of-life humor column, like that self-centered Erma Bombeck. He obviously didn't get it, perhaps because he's a curmudgeon and possibly needs to get laid (sorry, cheap shot). But my first reaction to his letter was, "Oh, he's right, I need to talk more about the community. I'm so selfish." Thank goodness, I had an email that same day from a women who said she loves the fact that she can identify with me as I write about daily life.

My magazine column is about horses in general, and western riding specifically. I cover horse shows, give information about where to get a saddle that fits, and review trail rides that I've taken. One such trail ride was on a trip to Alaska. I wrote about the beautiful scenery, discussed the differences between this ride and the ones I take in Pebble Beach, and I sang the praises of the trail horses, who must walk the trail quietly while putting up with many inexperienced riders.

I had used a specific rider as an example of what these horses have to put up with - she was on the ride, despite having recently had knee replacement surgery. As much as I love to ride, this would have stopped me cold. All the horse would have to do is spook; if she came off, what would have happened to her knee? I described the 5 people who had to help her mount and dismount. I also wrote about the way she kept leaning left, right, left, right, like a human gyroscope. A horse's natural instinct is to keep the rider centered on his back, so I applauded the horse's ability to ignore her. Sounds fairly benign, yes?

Not so much. A man called my editor to complain that I had made fun of this woman, and said I was crass. Okay, I did refer to her as a Weeble, but I don't think comparison to a children's toy is that rude. He wanted the magazine to print a retraction.

My editor took it in stride. She told him they only print retractions if an article isn't true, but they'd be happy to print a letter to the editor if he'd care to send one. She also told me that, after re-reading my column, she still didn't agree with him. In her opinion, my column was about the ride, the scenery and the horses. The 25 words I used for this woman were not the point of the column, nor were they mean-spirited.

I was again vindicated, but I still felt like I should be extra nice next time, or write an apology to that man.

But I won't. Instead, I'll do what I did the last time I "offended" anyone. For the next week, when I get up in the morning, I'll look myself in the mirror and say, "I'm a bad girl, and I'm okay with that."

This exercise will come in handy when my book comes out and the first bad review comes in. I'd almost be grateful for no reviews, but I know you need publicity. My publisher, Karen, will like the fact that I'll work my butt off to make her happy, but will she like holding my hand when I'm weeping about someone who doesn't like my book? After all, if my book is bad, it's because I'm a bad person, right?

Oh, wait, I'm okay with that.

Greetings!

It's possible that I'm a blog-aholic. I have a blog on my website (www.gaylecarline.com/geeblog.html) to discuss my very first book deal and how it came about. I have a blog on MySpace (www.myspace.com/gaylesoo) to discuss random events in my personal and professional life. So why do I need yet a third?

To discuss the process of writing. My blog title comes from James Thurber's Preface to a Life (My Life and Hard Times), where he talks about how everyone thinks of writers, particularly humor writers, as being light-hearted souls with nary a worry. According to him, they "sit on the edge of the chair of Literature."

That description suits me to a T. I have read many of the great literary works and admire them. In my heart of hearts, I would love to write one of those tomes, and be remembered for all eternity as the author of the "21st century War and Peace" or some such title.

But fear holds me back. What if my efforts to be inspiring are seen as insipid? What if I attempt deep symbolism and I'm accused of presumption? Worse yet, what if I do write this mighty work of art and I start taking myself too seriously?

Which is probably why I started my delayed writing career as a columnist. It's hard to be precious at 1,000 words. My first gig was to report on horse shows, and interview horse people, which left no room for fiction, and no way to get too big for my britches. When I started writing for the Placentia News-Times, I was writing humor essays about my daily life, a la Erma Bombeck and James Thurber. Although I wouldn't call my tales fiction (they do contain moments of exaggeration), the essays had to be light and short (500 words), so I could not go Tolstoy on anyone.

But I always wanted to write a novel. In 2006, I started writing one. It was a literary masterpiece that took me over a year to write, about a young girl's struggle to define herself. Well, that's what I intended it to be. What I ended up with was a well-written piece of crap. Part of it was because I broke many of the rules that make a novel readable. The thing about successful authors who break the rules is, they know the rules well, so they know how to break them. I didn't. The other part of the problem was that I was in a writing group of two: me and my friend, Pam. I adore her, we make each other laugh, but a writing group of two is a mistake. Pam loves romances. I don't. And yet, by the time we had finished critiquing my work, I found I had written a romance.

Enter the Southern California Writer's Conferences. I had been attending these since 2006 and had been dutifully listening to all of the experts, without doing a thing they said. After my literary-romance-fiasco, I finally started paying attention. In 2007, I was able to start my second book, a murder mystery, with all of the tools I needed to make a good, light-hearted novel. Which I did. And that was the book I sold.

So I still sit at the edge of that chair, wanting to rest my back against it and write Literature with a capital "L", but I have made piece with the fact that I'd rather write light and lively works than not write at all.