A loaf of bread, a slab of meat, and thou. Oh, and a dagger.

As I indicated yesterday, this weekend was simply chock full o' authors, which would normally send me right to my laptop, inspired and energetic. They did inspire me. They did give me a big jolt of "git 'er done" spiritedness. Too bad I live in the real world.

If I could only get them to come to my house to clear my schedule so I could put my energy toward writing instead of cleaning out rooms, calling the plumber to fix leaks, and washing the cat's bloomers practically every morning because she's getting her long hair caught in, well, you know.

But, at least let me share these authors and give you a dose of inspiration.


On Saturday, I listened to three authors, Jeri Westerson, Jo Ann De Matteo, and Ann Mauer. Jo Ann wrote a historical romance, Cranberry Lake, which she self-published.

Ann wrote The Magic Eye, which is historical fiction and also self-published.

And then, there's Jeri.

Jeri's first novel, Veil of Lies, was published by St. Martin's Minotaur last year, and her latest, Serpent in the Thorns, will be published later this year. Both novels follow the exploits of Crispin Guest, a disgraced knight turned detective in 14th century England. As you can imagine, Jeri's talk grabbed my attention. Not only was she the most animated storyteller in the group, I love a good speech about dead bodies.

By the way, I'd love to direct you to the other two authors' websites, but Jo Ann doesn't have one, at least none that I can find with Google. Ann has a business website, which contains a couple of pages about her book. These were lovely ladies, and their novels have gotten great reviews on Amazon, but they truly need to step up their Internet presence. And Jo Ann, bless her heart, needs to stop reading her speeches and learn to talk to her audience.

I hope I don't offend them – just a little constructive criticism.

Back to Jeri: I felt an immediate affinity for her work. I don't necessarily adore all things Medieval, but I was drawn to her passion for the period, particularly her love of the weaponry. She has quite a collection of swords, knives, axes, etc, and told a most hysterical story about learning to use said implements of destruction on actual flesh.

It made perfect sense to me, as an author, that she would want to know how to describe the feel of a broadsword as it hacked into a body, or a knife stabbing a victim. Knowing she couldn't just go to Cadavers 'R' Us to purchase a corpse, Jeri went to Costco and bought the largest slab of meat (bone-in) she could find.

She figured out quickly that meat on a kitchen counter didn't have the same feel as a standing foe, so she nailed it to her kid's swing-set and spent the afternoon stabbing, whacking, and generally murdering a side of beef.

Amid the laughter in our audience, Jeri admitted she hoped the neighbors weren't watching, and she was glad her family wasn't home. She also gave us a great insight: when you're hacking an opponent to death, you get a lot of them on you. It's something to remember when you're writing that dismemberment scene.

After listening to that, of course I bought her book, and of course I'll read it. I'll probably give it to my 16-year old to read, too, since he loves that time period.

So, the questions of the day are: As writers, what have you done or tried in order to describe it properly? As readers, have you ever read anything that was described so thoroughly, you felt you were actually doing it yourself?

Tomorrow, I'll tell you about Steve Hodel and D.P. Lyle at the SinC meeting. In the meantime, don't forget to enter the contest!