It's here but not here.

I've really got a gazillion things on the to-do list today, including riding, teaching, shopping, and writing, but I wanted to quickly let you know that Snoopy's book is officially launching this Thursday.

Here's a secret, though: unofficially, it's already available.

That's right. In order to ensure that people could get it on Thursday, I opened the distribution channels and downloaded the files. Barnes & Noble and Indiebound haven't put it up yet, but the Kindle and paperback versions are live on Amazon. Go ahead and get it early. I won't complain.

I'll also be running some contests soon for some cool prizes, so stay tuned.

ALSO ALSO ALSO:

Check out Michele Scott's new book, Silent Harmony. It's YA, it's about horses and a girl and paranormal and intrigue and I can't wait to read it. Get it here.

Sorry, gotta run now.

Branded.

I remember when the TV series Mork and Mindy aired in 1978. It was a sweet, gentle comedy about an egg-centric alien, played by Robin Williams, who comes to Earth.



I also remember when Robin Williams had his first large-venue comedy concert during the TV show's run.



If you weren't around, or conscious, during this period, let me give you a hint. Many, many people went to see Robin Williams expecting Mork from Ork. Many of those people brought their children.  All of those people were surprised... none of it happily.

This is what happens when you are not clear about your brand.

My buddy, Michele Scott knows her audience and has branded herself accordingly. Readers who like fun, romantic mysteries, or young adult stories, can read Michele Scott. (By the way, Silent Harmony is being released May 28. Get it!)

Readers who like dark thrillers, read A.K. Alexander.

All of her books have surprises in them, but none of them should be that a reader thought they were getting a light-hearted mystery and they got a psycho-sexual thriller instead.

This is what happens when you communicate your brand correctly.

I began life writing humor essays under my own name. Then I wrote a mystery and thought briefly about a pseudonym, but I was talked out of it. According to my publisher, if I published under another name, any payments would be made out to THAT name, which meant I'd have to jump through a bunch of legal hoops to create an alias.

My shin splints don't like it when I jump.

Now after eight years as a humor columnist, three mysteries and two books of my columns, I'm releasing something completely different with Snoopy's memoir. It has been hell trying to figure out the genre, but it's not mystery and it's not strictly humor.

Although it's "By Snoopy, as told to Gayle Carline," I did consider the pseudonym route again. (I have learned that the hoops I have to jump through are not as high as they used to be.)

I'm nervous about my brand. What if I'm diluting it?

After much thought, I made the decision to stick with who I am. Although the genres are different, I believe my style of writing - the easy, conversational, hopeful stories that come out on the page - remain the same no matter what name I assign to the cover.

Am I making the right choice? There's no way to go back and do it over to see if it works better if I call myself Abby Normal. All I can do is study my options, make my pro/con lists, and try to choose wisely.




Sorry, I just had to include this one.

How important is an author's brand to you?

Hippity-hopping on Ara's blog tour

My fellow SCWC buddy, Ara Grigorian (aka Ara THE Writer) got pegged for a "Next Big Thing" blog hop and of course, tagged me as one of his Hoppettes. I say "of course" because I torture Ara from time to time by challenging him on either Facebook or my blog to bare his writing soul for readers everywhere.

This is my karma and I accept it.

As far as my own next BIG thing, I'm in an interesting state of being, writing-wise. My next book is complete and completely different than anything else I've ever done. It's my horse's memoir, told in his voice. The title is FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH: ONE LUCKY MEMOIR. This week, I had my favorite equine photographer, Lynne Glazer, come out and shoot pictures for the cover. Once I decide on the photos, I will turn them over to my cover designer, Joe Felipe. I'm also awaiting comments from two of my three beta readers.

Then there's the marketing and publicity campaign to schedule so I know when to release the book. Ah, the life of a self-publishing author!

All of this doesn't mean I'm not writing anything new. I am. It's a new mystery, with all new characters. And so starts my Next Big Thing blog blather (a big Thanks to Ara for providing the cut-and-paste action)...

* * * * *

What is a blog hop? Basically, it’s a way for readers to discover authors new to them. I hope you'll find new-to-you authors whose works you enjoy. On this stop on the blog hop, you'll find a bit of information on me and one of my books and links to five other authors you can explore!

My gratitude to fellow author Ara Grigorian for inviting me to participate in this event. You can click the following links to learn more about Ara and his work.

Website: http://www.araTHEwriter.com

In this blog hop, I and my fellow authors, in their respective blogs, have answered ten questions about our book or work-in--progress (giving you a sneak peek). We've also included some behind-the-scenes information about how and why we write what we write--the characters, inspirations, plotting and other choices we make. I hope you enjoy it.

Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts and questions. Here is my Next Big Thing!

1: What is the working title of your book?
HORSING AROUND WITH MURDER

2: Where did the idea come from for the book?
At horse shows, when we clean our horses' stalls, we dump the used bedding at the end of the barn aisle, where it's scooped up daily by a tractor and hauled away. I was walking to my barn at the last show, looked over at the pile of dirty shavings and thought, what if there was a pair of boots in there, with a body in them?

3: What genre does your book come under?
Mystery.

4: Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
My main character is an amateur rider. I'm picturing her as a kind of normal looking gal who is spunky and appealing. Rikki Lake and Janeane Garofalo come to mind. For the male lead, I've got either Viggo Mortenson or Hugh Jackman in my head, depending upon the day. I've actually got a Pinterest board on this story, if you're interested.

5: What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
All Willie Adams wanted was to buy a horse. How was she to know love and murder came with the deal?

6: Is your book self-published, published by an independent publisher, or represented by an agency?
Right now, all my books are published under my own umbrella, Dancing Corgi Press. But I never say never to traditional publishing and try to do the right thing for each of my books.

7: How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

True confession: It's not written at this time. I'm still gathering my cast and doing my outlining.

8: What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
Probably Michele Scott's cozier mysteries, especially the Michaela Bancroft Suspense Series.

9: Who or what inspired you to write this book?
Because I have horses and I show competitively, people always want to know why I don't write about them. So I'm writing a horse mystery, just to shut them up.

10: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
It will be set in Burbank at the LA Equestrian center, and will feature an aging actor who rides. There is a (very famous) actor who rides, along with his wife, and we see him often at the shows. Let's just say he makes us laugh.

NOT the famous aging actor, this is trainer Tom Foran on my favorite reining horse, Cattitude.

This is where I'm supposed to tag other writers and have them blog about their next big things. But I'm not. The trail goes cold here, mostly because I have now hopped around three times and just can't ask one more of my author friends to do this.

P.S. If any of my writer friends reads this and WANTS to hop onto my blogging coattails, feel free and I'll promote the heck out of it!

Get ready. Get set... It's coming.

On Monday, two things will happen:

1. The Hot Mess will be available as an e-book.

2. Five other bloggers will be joining me in a contest for one lucky person to win a free copy, and by copy I mean an e-book or paperback.

The contest will be kind of a scavenger hunt. You visit five blogs and read excerpt from the book in each one. Then come back here. I will have five questions for you. Each answer is contained in one of the five other blogs. Answer the questions correctly in the comments and you win!

The five blogs are:

The mostly adorable Andrew Kaufman, http://www.andrewekaufman.blogspot.com/

 

The lovely and talented Jenny Hilborne, http://jfhilborne.wordpress.com/

 

The fierce but friendly Michele Scott, http://adventuresnwriting.blogspot.com/

 

A sweet cozy writer Teresa Trent, http://teresatrent.wordpress.com/

 

Mr. All-Things-Dean-Martin, http://ilovedinomartin.blogspot.com/

 

If this goes as planned it should be fun. Hopefully, we'll drive some traffic around to the other sites, as well as whetting everyone's appetite for The Hot Mess. If it goes badly, you'll be able to hear me weeping, weeping bitter tears.

In the meantime, here's the trailer for The Hot Mess.




See you on Monday!

Jeff Sherratt: A life well lived

I went to a memorial service today for an author friend of mine, Jeff Sherratt. I met Jeff a very few years ago at the Southern California Writer's Conference. He had just had his first Jimmy O'Brien mystery published by Echelon Press. Later that year, my first mystery, Freezer Burn, was picked up by Echelon.

So we had lots to talk about at book festivals and other author events. I used to tease Jeff that he could sell books to a corpse. I was almost not kidding - that man could talk. He was the kind of guy you could just hang with and not worry about running out of conversation. If you didn't have a tale to tell, he had plenty.

I have three stories to tell you about Jeff to show you what kind of man he was.

R to L: Pam Ripling, me, Jeff, Alyssa Montgomery

1. The Ray Bradbury Event. A couple of years ago, I got to not only meet Ray Bradbury, but I gave him an autographed copy of Freezer Burn. I blogged most of the story in this post - however, I left out one part. When Jeff heard that Mr. Bradbury's assistant was going to introduce me to Ray, he ran off and got one of his books to sign and give to Ray. At the time, I thought he was pretty cheeky to horn in on my action, and might have thought, briefly, about hitting him in the head with something to thwart his plan. I had to kind of fight him off just so I could get my picture taken and finish giving Ray my book.

Afterward, Jeff hugged me and apologized, and sounded as ecstatic as I felt. As I processed the scene later, I realized that my friend was having a Fan-Boy moment. He couldn't help himself from jumping in on the fun because, well, this was Ray Freakin' Bradbury. Giddiness overruled any sense of decorum.

How can you stay angry about that?

2. Newport Beach. I've been going to the Southern California Writer's Conference for years now, long enough to have made lots of friends. Still, every time I go, I feel a certain level of excited apprehension as I walk into whatever the venue. I have no explanation, but it's a weird, First Day of School feeling, like I'm not sure if the Cool Kids will laugh at my shoes or welcome me.

Yeah, I'm a nutcase sometimes.

The first year it was at the Hyatt in Newport Beach, I walked through the lobby on my way to check-in with Cricket at Registration. I was a little aflutter, trying to look calm but feeling nervous. There in the lobby, Jeff sat with his friend and editor, Mike Sirota. Jeff saw me, got up with a smile and announced, "There's my girl!" (Of course, a hug followed.)

All my apprehension melted away. Jeff's greeting was like coming home, comfort food, and warm fuzzies all in one. It was the one thing I needed and he was there to provide it.

Jeff doing what he loved best: signing books!

3. The Placentia Library. This past year, I asked Jeff and Michele Scott to be the guests at the Author's Luncheon that is hosted every year by the Placentia Library Friends Foundation. The theme was "Make Mine a Mystery" and I knew they'd both be dynamic speakers.

As the date approached, I was hearing from another author friend that Jeff was in ill health. Uh-oh. I called Jeff and asked how he was.

"Fine, fine, how are you?" he told me.

"I heard you weren't feeling well. Are you going to be okay to come to the luncheon?"

"Oh sure, I'm fine. I can't wait."

We had this conversation more than once. My other friend kept telling me Jeff wasn't well, I kept calling Jeff, and he kept reassuring me. When the date arrived, Jeff came with a portable oxygen kit by his side, along with his wife, Judy. That's when he told me he was on the list for a lung transplant.

What?????

Jeff and Michele, in deep discussion no doubt

That was Jeff. You didn't know he was in ill health. You didn't know he had a prosthetic leg. You didn't know he had any disabilities. (I'm typing this now with a headache so bad, I'd like to weep, and I feel bad admitting it. Jeff wouldn't.)

I've said this before, but the best thing I ever heard at a funeral service was a minister who said, "You write your own obituary by the way you live your life." Did I know Jeff well? I never met his daughters or grandkids, or knew where he went to school or everything about his life. But did I know the man? I think maybe I did. Exuberant, generous, curious, optimistic, driven, uncomplaining. He was a man who made me want to stop and ask if I really need to grouse about something, if I can't just write one more chapter, if I've told someone how glad I am to know them. He made me want to at least try to be a better person.

Good-bye, Jeff. I'm sure gonna miss you.

Contests! Contests! Contests!

I was almost going to be contrary today and say "Contests!" twice, because you know how I love to do things in threes. In the end, I couldn't get away from it, because I have three contests to tell you about.

See? There's a REASON for the rule of three.

First is Michele Scott's contest to name her first book in her new Dead Celebs mystery series. She's giving away a $40 gift card to Amazon or Barnes & Noble (your choice), and she's letting the readers vote on which title wins. She's a braver soul than me. Go here to check it out and enter the contest.

The second contest is just for fun, I think - no prize was mentioned. But it was fun, so I tried it out. Go to Janet Reid's blog and read the rules. Basically, you take a bunch of books from your library (or somewhere), stack them up and write a poem using their titles. Here's my entry:

Finding What I Knew

In search of MIRACLES,

I left THE KNOWN WORLD
To go WALKING ON WATER
Toward a LOST HORIZON.

RIDING BETWEEN THE WORLDS,

I was a WANDERER OF THE WASTELAND.

THE STRANGER took me,

I was SOLD INTO EGYPT
Until THE GOOD SHEPHERD
Sent me THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
To THE THURBER CARNIVAL.

IT'S A MAGICAL WORLD, after all.

Last, and most importantly, is my contest. I was going only run the contest for a week, but I think I'll keep it going until I get back from the Southern California Writers Conference, happening Sept. 23-25 (still time to register and join us). To recap, I'm having a helluva time picking a title for my second book of humor columns. This one will be much like the first one - several columns accompanied by readers' emails, editor's notes, and generally what was happening while I was trying to write. The rules are:

1. Either vote for one of the titles listed below or enter your Most Excellent idea in the Comments. (This is important. I've had people list titles and vote in the comments on my Facebook postings. I cannot go hunting through my wall posts to find your entries. You must give me your opinion in the blog's comments!)

2. If I get a bunch of votes for a title, everyone who voted gets a free copy of the new book.

3. If someone submits The Most Amazing Title Ever, that person gets a free copy AND their name in the Acknowledgments.

Possible titles:

1. I'd Like to be Self-Absorbed But I Don't Have the Time

2. In My Spare Time, I Juggle Horses

3. In My Spare Time - Wait, I Don't Have Any

4. Wolves Mate for Life Because They Don't Speak English




Current synopsis (rough draft): When Gayle Carline got a job writing a humor column for her local newspaper, she knew it would be a fun assignment. What she didn't know is that her son would begin every conversation with, "This is off the record." But that didn't stop her. Join her continuing journey of balancing her life as a wife, mother, and occasional juggler of 1000-lb horses with writing a column about her husband, son, and everyday events. Her husband and son may object from time to time, but the horses don't complain.


Titles submitted so far:

1. Fodder for Thought (submitted by Chrissie Barnett)

2. Jen Eldridge, prolific gal that she is, submitted ALL of these -
"A Horse of different story"
"Hold your Horses"
"The Gift Horse"
"The Art before the Horse"
"The Dark Horse Chronicles"
"Now Hold your Horses..."
""Behold, a White Horse"
"Straight from the Horses Mouth.."
"Off the record..."
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.."
"A begining makes an ending.."
"Wild horses in my living room.."
"According to Carline (or Gee)"
""For Whom Gayle Tolls (or toils)"
"Just a click away..."
"The Writing Muse"
"I'm just sayin...."

3. Missed Congeniality offers these -
"Get this book now, dammit"
"Billionaire Secrets"
"Don't Be What You See" with a pic of a horses behind
"Just Enough to be Dangerous"
"Thundering Herd"

4. And Anonymous submitted - "Between Balancing Acts and Juggling Horses" (quite frankly, I'm not sure how I mention Anonymous in the Acknowledgments)



Vote for something or submit another one!

Me and Benny are at Dino's today

I know you're all out there, consumed with trying to help me with a title for my next humor book, but if you want to take a break, stroll over to Dino Martin Peters' blog and read about Benny Needles' eternal love for Dean Martin.

I've been writing journals for my characters for quite awhile. As a matter of fact, I've published a couple of journal entries that were "written" by my characters. It's a great exercise (thank you, Michele Scott) for developing each character's voice.

For Mr. Peters' blog, I wanted to capture Benny's voice to try to explain his deep devotion to Dean Martin. It turned out to be difficult. I tried many times in many ways to write an entry in Benny's diary, but I failed miserably each time. Finally it dawned on me: Benny doesn't keep a diary.

Benny is not a writer. He feels no need to analyze his day, or his life. He probably doesn't even remember his dreams. So, what to do?

I decided the only writing Benny would do is school-mandated. When Marcus was in third grade, I remember his teacher talking about the challenge she was facing with one of the boys in his class.

"He's so into Pokemon, every paper he writes is about Pokemon," she said. "I have to be really creative to get him to write about something else."

That's when I knew: every paper Benny wrote had to about his hero, Dean Martin. After I finished his essay, not only did I know Benny even better, I felt even more sympathy for my annoying little man.

Go on over to the I Love Dino Martin blog and read what he had to say.

There are lessons to be learned everywhere

I know I usually post more often than I have recently, and I apologize for anyone who now thinks I'm some kind of deadbeat. "Dead meat" is more the way I feel. I just completed teaching my second horse camp of the summer. I have one more to teach in two weeks, after which I will breathe a huge sigh of "It's over", even though I do like teaching the kiddos.

When I began teaching the camps, we usually had 12-18 campers for each two-week session. For whatever reason, the camp, while recommended by many, has decreased in enrollment, so that we've actually cancelled some camps. I think the economy has a lot to do with it, along with a general fear among some parents that horses are not a safe activity. (Ed. note: some parents are wimps.)

So this year, I am running three one-week camps. They are simpler and easier on me. The kids still ride horses and have fun. It's all good.

My last camp had four kids, all girls. Two of them are current students. The other two had never been on a horse.

The two students are a year apart in age, but worlds apart in how they approach their learning. The older girl is naturally athletic, fearless, and loves to learn. I remind her to slow down and enjoy what she's doing, as she can get pretty intense to reach her own imaginary finish line. She got along well with the other campers, but she's not what I would call a social butterfly. She's a steady-eddie kind of gal, a good sport, easy to hang out with and not worry about the conversation.

The (slightly) younger girl spent quite some time acting like each lesson was brand new to her. I often wondered if she was ever going to do more than walk her horse on the rail, oversteering left, then right, until the pair looked like they'd hit one too many bars. She was also silent as the grave. Over time, she thawed out and began talking. And talking. AND talking. I called her my little chatterbox, she had so many completely random things to say. Then one amazing day, she got it. She got her horse ready, hopped on, and rode. Straight, circles, around cones and over poles, as if she knew how to make the horse go where she wanted. At camp, she was happy and confident, reaching out to the other girls in friendship, whether it was returned or not.

One of the beginners was a six-year old who was cute as a button and, well, six years old. Very verbal, with the attention span of a gnat with ADD. Someone had to walk beside her horse at all times, because she was prone to forget where her horse was supposed to go and instead let Wendy stroll off to eat the rose bushes. ("Why is Wendy eating the roses? Don't the thorns hurt?") She tended to be afraid when it would get her a little attention, pouted when she was asked to be patient, but got over most of her fears and disappointments easily. She also liked to talk to everyone - all the time.

The fourth girl, also new to horses, was from another state, visiting family. At the ripe old age of eleven, she had already slipped to the edge of teenaged ennui. Her entire vibe said she was too cool for childhood. We had a few talks about kindness, because she wanted to belittle both the younger girls and my counselors. My normal goal of having them learn something about horses was replaced, for this girl, with trying to help her be a kid again and find her sense of wonder about life. Social interactions bounced between boredom and patronizing. On the last day, she almost fell off her horse, and secretly, I almost let her.

But that would be mean and irresponsible, even if I did think of it as a teaching moment.

I drove home after the last day thinking about the group, and my own childhood. We had these kids on my playground, too. Some of them wanted to be social and some didn't. Some were unpleasant to be around because they were so smug. Some were plain old bullies. Each day we had two recesses and a lunch period to learn how to interact with them. So we did, by playing, fighting, making up, and making do.

These days, some schools are cutting recess out altogether. It's not essential learning time, according to some educators. I would disagree. It's fundamental to learning how to talk to other people, how to deal with people who think and behave differently. We grow up and have to work with these people, have to serve and be served by these people. Where else do we learn to get along?

I know you're wondering what this has to do with writing, but in my head, this has everything to do with writing. At the heart of all stories is conflict. I worked all week among four girls to reduce conflict, because it makes a difficult camp experience, even if it makes a great story. But I could take these personalities, either keep them young or grow them up, and give them something to fight, and possibly bond, over.

My buddy, Michele Scott, has just expanded and re-released a book on writing. It's titled, aptly, "A Writer's Workshop" and is a simple guide to some of the things she has used through the years to go from an idea to a finished novel. I love Michele's storytelling. It's a joy to sit and talk to her and think of storylines - her creativity is inspiring.

But what I really like in this book are her worksheets. For each character, she builds a list of questions about what they like, where they went to school, their family structure, their astrological sign. She uses these to find out about the people in her story before she ever starts writing.

When I was writing Hit or Missus, my first draft kind of sucked. It took me a couple of reads to realize that, while I had my recurring cast of characters nailed, my guest stars were just a big, beige mob. No individuals, no unique qualities, among any of them. I went back to each person and looked into their lives, determined their moral boundaries and motives, until I could distinguish each voice in the story.

I learned my lesson.

For the next book I've started, I went back to my conference notes and dug out Michele's worksheets. I began journaling each new character, building their backstory, along with the background of the crimes to be committed in the book. I'm not quite finished, but I know, by the time I am, I won't just know my cast, I'll know where everyone fits in the novel. The writing will go smoother.

So if you're a writer, save yourself from my mistakes. Buy Michele's book and see how her techniques can help you tell a better tale.

Adventures N Danger

HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING OUT THERE?

I confess, sometimes when I'm writing this blog, I think about famous performers giving concerts, yelling, "Hello Cleveland/Omaha/Phoenix! How ya doin' out there?" So I just wanted to give a big shout-out to my tens of followers. LOL.

My friend Michele Scott always has something interesting (or cool or funny or useful) on her blog, Adventures N Writing, but today she's talking about being stalked by creepy people and how she has been able to utilize her feelings from those experiences to write about people in danger. It's a really good post, very anecdotal. You should read it.

Now.

Go on over to her site.

I'll wait here.

* * * * tic toc tic toc * * * * tic toc tic toc * * * *

Back? Good.

Her post made me think about how I use my experiences, or maybe my non-experiences, to write danger. The thing is, I'm a big wimp. I've been blessed enough to have never been assaulted or beaten or brutalized in any way. When I started writing about Peri as a private investigator, I knew I could go one of two ways. Either Peri was going to solve crimes without a lot of personal danger, ala Jessica Fletcher, or she was going to march right into the fray and risk her own safety.

I knew it would be easy to be an armchair detective. I can easily put myself in that place. But it seemed like the easy way out. If Peri was going to be a strong, stubborn woman, I needed to be able to let her walk down that dark alley, or confront a possible killer.

The question was, how was I going to write about it, if I've never lived it?

I decided to take what little I had experienced and extrapolate it. The pain from every fall off a horse, every cut from slicing veggies, every time I so much as banged my knee against the coffee table, was put to use in my fight scenes.

But what about the fear factor? Apart from my overactive imagination, I've only known terror once. And let me tell you, once was enough.

I was twenty-one, and driving my car home from my boyfriend's house. It wasn't insanely late, only eleven p.m., but it was Sunday night in Decatur, Illinois. Trust me, in the seventies, there wasn't a bar open or a sidewalk that hadn't been rolled up on Sunday nights. My route home took me down the main drag, Eldorado Street, across the Route 36 Bridge to Country Club Road, and finally to Cantrell Street, where I lived with my grandparents.

I should also mention my car, Mary Lou. I think I've posted about her before. She was a 1960 Ford Falcon with a saggy bench seat in front, a window that fell out of the frame when you closed the door, and a broken door lock, gas gauge and heater. Serviceable, she was, but safe - not so much.

It started at the intersection of Eldorado/22nd Street/Route 36. I sat at the light, thinking of really nothing, as most 21-year olds are wont to do. Something caught my eye; I looked to the right to see a very attractive young man smiling at me. I returned the smile, then turned back to the road. He honked, so I looked again. This time, he pantomimed a suggestion that was both shocking and lewd. I mean, even in the seventies, he owed me dinner first. Suddenly, Mr. Attractive was Creepy Guy.

Ever the polite gal, I shook my head NO and turned my attention to my radio. He honked again and I kept my eyes on the road.

The light turned green, and I thought we were finished. Color me surprised when he kept his car beside mine, honking the whole time. By the time we were on the bridge over Lake Decatur, his car had swerved toward mine several times and my foot was shaking so hard, I could barely keep Mary Lou going forward. My whole body trembled, my hands felt numb, and all the blood in my veins retreated into my chest. To make matters worse, when I got into the left turn lane, he got behind me.

Crap. He was going to follow me.

My mom had told me what to do if I was followed (this is in the days before cell phones). She said to pull into our drive and honk the horn. I had a plan: I was going to drive into my grandparents' driveway and start honking.

Halfway down Country Club Drive, I realized that was the looniest plan in existence. First, I didn't want to stop a car with no locks and a loose window. Second, I didn't want Creepy Guy to know where I lived. Third, did I mention not wanting to stop the car?

I thought about pulling into one of the neighbor's driveways, but the whole car-stopping thing deterred me. Instead, I drove past my house and kept going. I doubled back toward town, thinking about Plan B, with Creepy Guy still on my tail.

Perhaps I could pull into the police station parking lot. Who would follow me there? Better yet, who would be there? It's not like a bunch of policemen would be standing around outside in mid-November. I'd still have to stop the car.

My mind ran through the list of other places where people might be congregating outside at 11 p.m. on a cold Sunday night. My body was still shaking, although I had better control of my foot on the gas pedal. We were approaching the intersection where we'd met. The light was red. In an instant, I knew what I was going to do.

I ran the light. And the next one. And the one after that.

There was no traffic to worry about. If the police stopped me, so much the better. I'd take the ticket, and give them the scoop. But no one stopped me. The only one who stopped was Creepy Guy, who didn't pursue me through the red light.

Just to make certain, I drove back by a different route, going through Nelson Park and over Lost Bridge Road. Not only did I lose Creepy Guy completely, I never told my parents or grandparents what happened.

Good thing they've all passed away, or I'd have to swear you guys to secrecy.

I may have never looked for a villain in a dark alley, or been confronted by a crazy person with a gun, but I'll never forget the heart-thumping, full-throttle, body-tremors of that night, my mind whirling with ideas for getting myself out of this mess. That's what I remember when Peri's in up to her ears in trouble.

How about you? If you're a writer, what kind of things do you try in order to get your descriptions as real as possible? If you're a reader, can you tell when a writer is faking it? How?

A drive-by post

Good morning, Peeps!


I have so much to do today, my head is spinning. It's not always the big things, you know? Sometimes it's trying to remember all the little pieces that go into the big things. For me the big things today are:


1. Go take my riding lesson.
2. Drive (from Chino Hills) to Long Beach and load up my son's stuff from his dorm room. School's out!
3. Drive back to Chino Hills and give a lesson.


Sounds like three things, right? Except it's more, because in between these things I have to:


a. Get some money from the ATM.
b. Get gas in the car.
c. Grab lunch.
d. Fight traffic.
e. Figure out what to do with the dog. (Usually he comes to the ranch with me, but should I take him to Long Beach? Should I leave him to play with the other dogs? Should I just leave him at home?)


It'll all get done in some kind of order, but it did get me thinking that sometimes my writing feels like this. I know what needs to be done, but I have a hard time sorting out the order, so I end up doing a little research here, then a little plotting there, then a smattering of actual writing - gah.


Can't life be a straight line?


In the meantime, here's a video of my friend, Michele Scott, talking about the writing revolution. I love Michele because she's a peach, but especially now, because her enthusiasm for the changes in the publishing industry keep me from being afraid of what's around the corner.





Michele was speaking at the Southern California Writer's Conference in San Diego. Their next conference is in Newport Beach in September. Check it out, and check out her blog.

And off I go. Keep reading!

Out of the frying pan...

I don't know what kind of fire I'm leaping into, but it can't be worse than the dance I've been doing in the Teflon.

For months now, I've been shopping my second Peri Minneopa Mystery book around to agents. Several asked for a full manuscript, which was heartening. Knowing agents (from other author tales), I knew I could have a long wait before they responded.

In the meantime, the publishing world has gone - wild? off-kilter? broken the chains of its corporate oppressors? I don't know how to describe it. If you live under a rock, you haven't heard that Borders declared bankruptcy and will probably pay pennies on the dollars they owe publishing houses. Barry Eisler, thriller-writer-extraordinaire, turned down a $500,000 advance in order to self-publish. Amanda Hocking, self-published-wonder-kid, who sold over a million books, was offered a $2 million deal from a publisher.

It's a crazy time to be a writer, with lots of columns on the menu of publishing choices.

I self-pubbed What Would Erma Do? because the agents/publishers I approached didn't think they could sell it, due to my lack of fame. I knew I had a platform, and an inkling of how to get the word out on the internet, so I thought I could just do it on my own. I hired the wonderful Joe Felipe to design my cover, worked with Createspace and Amazon's Digital Platform services, figured out how to upload to Smashwords, and started working the Inter-Network. Facebook, Twitter, Amazon discussion boards, Kindle Boards, other blogger's blogs, you name it.

The worst part of self-publishing is watching your book languish, and fall, in the Amazon rankings because no one is buying it. I swear, I could hear crickets chirping every time I logged into my account. But Michele Scott told me it takes time, so I'm attempting patience.

Now I'm starting to see one Erma e-book sale a day. No, it's not an avalanche. But it's one more than yesterday. Color me optimistic.

Back to the subject at hand: my second Peri book. While waiting for agents and listening to more than one person ask when the second book will be out, I began thinking. I have a cover artist. I know how to use the tools. Why not self-pub the second one?

As you can imagine, the entrepreneur angel and the traditional-book-deal angel started an argument of epic proportions in my head. My little traditional heart wanted to be able to say, "Why, yes, it will be released by Penguin next February," in that smugly humble way of authors. My desire to keep the Peri stories going said, "Screw that. Michele Scott's not afraid of being self-pubbed. Neither is Eisler, or Konrath, or a host of other really good writers. Get your work out there."

I was almost convinced to go ahead and self-publish, but there was one more avenue I wanted to try. There is a boutique publishing company that I admire a lot. I decided to submit to them. If they said no, I'd go it alone, and forget about the agents.

They said no. Not because of my writing. They really liked my writing, and thought the book could do well. They're just booked for the next 18 months or so and didn't think I'd want to wait until 2013 for a release, which is true. They've been nothing but kind and I'll continue to support them.

So right now, I'm working with Joe on cover art and giving the manuscript yet another scrutiny, mostly because I always think I can do better. I will keep everyone in the loop about when Hit or Missus will be available, and yes, I'll make it available in paperback and e-book format.

In the meantime, got any opinions about the cover? I like these two samples, for different reasons (forgive the horrible quality of the pictures - Joe and I work from pdf versions first, and the only way I can get them into the post is to scan a printout - lame, I know).

I like the block color format of this one, and the title in red. My only issue with it is the crack in the martini glass isn't AS vivid as the cover below.

I like the dark, edgy quality to this, and the way the crack in the glass is easy to see. I think my name needs to be smaller, and one of my friends thought the red slash was a red carpet and it didn't make sense to her.

Would anyone like to give me their opinion? About the covers, I mean. Actually, I guess you can give me your opinion about anything. But I could use some advice about the covers.

Is it warm in here, or is it just me?

Oh what a tangled website we weave

You need a website.

If you are a writer, an artist, or a business owner, this has become a physical law. I was given this pearl of wisdom years ago, perhaps in the Jurassic Era, when I was just starting out, writing articles for Riding Magazine.

So I went looking for a website tool, and found one where my email account was - on Yahoo. They had something called PageBuilder, which was pretty easy to use, and more importantly, pretty easy to update.

I confess, I'm a tweaker. Just as I like to tweak my manuscripts before I send them out to agents/publishers, I also like to tweak my website as I think of cooler things to do with it. So I built my site with PageBuilder and played with it constantly, until...

Yahoo came out with a new, improved tool called SiteBuilder and stopped supporting PageBuilder. This meant, if I wanted to continue to fiddle around in my webpages, I had to convert to SiteBuilder, which was only a little less complicated than converting to, say, Islam.

Still, once I learned SiteBuilder, it was again easy to manipulate and I was happy in my playground, until...

Yahoo came out with a new, improved tool and stopped supporting SiteBuilder. You'll notice I'm not naming this tool, mostly because at that point, I snapped and refused to rehost anything to a new platform. I dug in my heels and continued to play in SiteBuilder, even though I had to reinstall it every time I wanted to edit anything, which is at least once a week, due to updating my newspaper column pages. I still enjoyed SiteBuilder, but I constantly worried about the day when I couldn't make it work anymore and my website was frozen forever, just like that face I used to make that Mom warned me about.

Enter Jeremy Lee James, riding to my rescue on Write Click Web Hosting. I've known Jeremy for a long time, from the Southern California Writer's Conferences, and knew he was a webmaster extraordinaire. I also knew 1) he charged, quite rightly, a fee for designing a website, and 2) I needed more control of my website than he might be able to grant me.

However, Jeremy's newest invention, Write Click Web Hosting, allows a user to create their own site using Wordpress. Now, you can do this yourself by just going to Wordpress, but he gives your website a more hack-proof security system and provides daily backups, all for a small monthly fee. Yahoo was already charging me a small monthly fee for all the work I was doing for them, so I thought I'd try it out.

Working with Jeremy was a very good experience, in that he was ever-so-patient with my occasional lapses into idiocy. He has a bunch of video tutorials explaining how to do things, and I'd kind of watch them, then try things on my own and screw up. It's how I roll. Jeremy was always on the other end of an email, explaining calmly how to back myself out of the latest mess.

Things were smooth until we got to the part where I'm almost ready to go online with the new site. I had pared down my pages, cleaned things up, but my new site looks very similar to my old site. Here's the thing: Jeremy is a very elegant, classy guy who thinks that websites should look elegant and classy. And mostly, I think he's right. So when he sent me the email saying, geez, did I really want my new website to look so much like my old one, meaning kinda goofy and casual and distinctly NOT elegant, my first response was, wow, maybe not...

Then I looked in the mirror and said, "Who are we kidding?"

I explained to him that, while I agree in theory, in practice I am not elegant. I am a humor writer, even in my mysteries. I need to be a little goofy and irreverent and casual. My website needs to reflect that sense of whimsy.

God love him, he understood my point, and agreed.

My new website is now up (http://gaylecarline.com) and ready to be picked apart by the rest of the world. I'm always looking for comments as to how I can make it better, so don't just placate me with kindness. But don't slap me, either.

I'm going to end this post with links to websites of a few of the many authors I like, so you can see how their sites support their genres.

Andrew Peterson - thriller writer. His site points you exactly where you need to be at all times, kind of like you're the sniper's bullet.

Michele Scott - mysteries, women's lit, let's just say multi-genre. Her website is being redone, but even the temporary page gives you an idea of who she is.

Alexandra Sokoloff - horror, suspense, paranormal, creepy (her books, not her). You know you're not getting "light and fluffy" when you click on this link.

Christina Dodd - romance. Okay, I've never read a single thing she's written, but I love this website. I want to live there. Don't kvetch at me, I'm not a romance reader, unless you count DeAnna Cameron's The Belly Dancer, which is mostly historical fiction and really cool.

**OH, and for the record, I am NOT being paid or recompensed in ANY way for recommending Write Click Web Hosting. It's just something I'm using with a great deal of satisfaction. And none of the authors mentioned have ever done a darn thing for me in exchange for mentioning their books and websites. I'm just a giver.

For the snoop in all of us

Hey, gang, I found Peri's diary the other day. You know, Peri Minneopa, the main character in my book, Freezer Burn. She's a private investigator in my novel, but she used to have a career cleaning houses. Most of it's pretty dull stuff, but I thought this entry was really interesting:

"10/14/07

I'm exhausted. Cleaned the Jeffers house and Dr. Bite's office today – his name isn't really Dr. Bite, but he's a dentist, so I like calling him that. Doesn't matter, he's never there when I come to clean.

The Jeffers house was a sty this time. Mrs. Jeffers is on travel. I could tell because her side of the sink is missing some bottles, and her power suit isn't in the closet, but the dry cleaning bag is still hanging there. She didn't run off, 'cause the Volvo was in the garage. From the looks of the place when she's gone, it wouldn't surprise me if she did just pack it up and leave. Between the husband, the teenage girl and the ten-year old boy, none of them can pick a towel up, throw a wrapper away, get a dish even near the kitchen, let alone the sink, nothing. Usually, when I go to their house, I do the basics and I'm done in two hours. I gave them an extra half-hour today and worked my ass off to get everything done in a half-assed way.

Mr. Jeffers started to give me a little grief about the lack of serious dusting, but I pointed out that he may want to put a little stain remover on the shirt I picked up off the floor, because Mrs. Jeffers' dark berry lipstick was all over the inside of the collar. He stared at me, trying to figure out if I knew Mrs. Jeffers doesn't wear dark lipstick (I know she likes the bronzes), then shut up and paid me.

Dr. Bite's office was in its usual state when I got there. Neat and organized, even before I start cleaning. It even smells mint-y fresh. I dust, clean the bathroom and scrub the sinks out. I don't touch the equipment – that's their department. Found a note under the chair in his office when I was vacuuming today. "Call me 555-6009" in big, curly handwriting, with a little smiley face, like a teenager would sign. Of course I was curious. Is it a note he found, or is Dr. Bite a perv, messing with little girls?

True confession time – I opened his desk drawers to see if I could find out what the note meant. One of the drawers was locked, but I know the key is under the desk lamp, because I move it when I dust. It's a pretty stupid place to hide a key, so I went ahead and used it. If the pictures in that drawer are the same woman who wrote that note, at least she looks legal – every bare inch of her. At that moment, I was really happy I'd never let any of my exes take photos of me in the nude. Or Skip.

Speaking of Skip, we were going to have dinner tonight, but he got called on a case. Sometimes sucks dating a detective. So I had a long soak in the tub for my tired muscles, then had my favorite dinner, Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream, and watched a Sherlock Holmes movie. I love mysteries. While I was in the tub, I started thinking about what Blanche said when we had lunch Wednesday. She thinks I should get out of the housecleaning business and become a private investigator. I can't help but think about the PI's I see on TV or read about in books. They're always in some kind of hot water. I hate danger, but my shoulders and knees sure are feeling today's bout with the Jeffers house. I suppose I could just do background checks, surveillance, stuff like that. Sitting in a car is easier than scrubbing toilets, any day. I'm just afraid I wouldn't be any good at it.

Well, gonna read one more chapter of that new Michele Scott mystery before I turn in. Her amateur sleuth, Nikki, is always in trouble. I wonder if I should tell Skip about that gun I saw in Dr. Bite's locked drawer.

Goodnight."

I guess she decided to start a new career after all. Too bad it didn't turn out to be as low risk as she'd hoped.