The only thing left to do is everything

There are lots of experts and analysts who know why Borders failed, but from my perspective, it looks like their biggest problem was they didn't want to read the writing on the wall, much less follow the directions. When Amazon became The Place to order any book you want at any time you want it (and at a cheaper price), it should have been a warning bell for all booksellers. When they created the Kindle, that bell became a siren. Barnes & Noble heard it and answered with an updated web presence and the Nook. It may save them.

I'm talking about this because, no matter what business you're in or life you lead, you need to pay attention to the signs. If you see changes to your industry, figure out how to get in front of the curve. If you see changes to your neighborhood, your family, your health, get out and do something about it.

How far do you want the flames to crawl up your leg before you call the fire department?

In a weirdly coincidental manner, when I released Hit or Missus, the Kindle sales of my humor book, What Would Erma Do, shot up. They tripled in May, then doubled in June, and continued to rise significantly through July and August. What Would Erma Do is now consistently in the Top Ten of Amazon's Humor/Family & Parenting Kindle books. I can't explain it.

But I can capitalize on it.

My original plan was to complete the rough draft of the third (as yet unnamed) Peri book, then put out a second humor book, and perhaps another short story, before returning to edit the draft. I've rearranged my schedule, instead, to put Peri aside now. I'm assembling a second humor book.

It's very similar to the first book - I've selected fun and interesting columns from the next two years and inserted readers' comments and editorial amusements in between. They're not filler, you understand. They add to the context of the columns. The rough draft is complete. All I need to do now is edit.

Oh, and think of a good title.

The first one, What Would Erma Do? Confessions of a First Time Humor Columnist was just so perfect. How am I going to get people's attention with this new book?

My first thought was actually Two Years Before the Masthead, although I think it's too snooty and literary. It still makes me laugh, because when I read the book Two Years Before the Mast, I thought the title referred to an event. You know, two years before something happened, something called "The Mast." HA HA HA.

No.

I looked through the draft, searching for That Phrase to serve up to readers, the words that would jump off the page and create a title people would find catchy. There are quotes, but I couldn't think of how to make them title-worthy. For example:

"I could justify my love of cookbooks if I actually cooked."
"The pursuit of beauty is not a speed event." 
"Wolves mate for life because they can't speak English."

After a day or three, I started thinking about my bio - both the one in the newspaper and the one on my website. The newspaper says:

"Longtime Placentia resident Gayle Carline tracks those moments that shape her days as a wife, mom, computer whiz and horsewoman."

My website bio says:
"Gayle Carline is a typical Californian, meaning that she was born somewhere else. She moved to Orange County from Illinois in 1978, and landed in Placentia a few years later.

Her husband, Dale, bought her a laptop for Christmas in 1999 because she wanted to write. A year after that, he gave her horseback riding lessons. When she bought her first horse, she finally started writing.

Gayle soon became a regular contributor to California Riding Magazine, and in March, 2005, she began writing a humor column for her local newspaper, the Placentia News-Times. Every week, she entertains readers with stories of her life with Dale and their son, Marcus.

Believing that she should experience reincarnation while she is still alive, Gayle has been a software engineer, a dancer, and even a flying angel for the Crystal Cathedral’s Glory of Christmas.

In her spare time, Gayle likes to sit down with friends and laugh over a glass of wine. And maybe plan a little murder and mayhem."

I start thinking about my spare time. In my spare time... hmm... what could I do with that?

Using that train of thought, I've come up with two ideas:

1. And In My Spare Time, I Juggle Horses

2. And In My Spare Time, Wait, I Don't Have Any

What do you think about any of these? Or do you have any bright ideas?

I absolutely need a title so I can contact my cover designer and get him started on a cover. Please, if you've got any notions at all, let me know.

Don't misunderstand - I'm still going to write mysteries. But that genre is very competitive and I'm going to be working a long time to get a bigger share of the pie. In the meantime, I can see that humor is a smaller field and more lucrative, at least for me. I'm changing course only slightly, because I've heard the warning bell.

Out of the frying pan...

I don't know what kind of fire I'm leaping into, but it can't be worse than the dance I've been doing in the Teflon.

For months now, I've been shopping my second Peri Minneopa Mystery book around to agents. Several asked for a full manuscript, which was heartening. Knowing agents (from other author tales), I knew I could have a long wait before they responded.

In the meantime, the publishing world has gone - wild? off-kilter? broken the chains of its corporate oppressors? I don't know how to describe it. If you live under a rock, you haven't heard that Borders declared bankruptcy and will probably pay pennies on the dollars they owe publishing houses. Barry Eisler, thriller-writer-extraordinaire, turned down a $500,000 advance in order to self-publish. Amanda Hocking, self-published-wonder-kid, who sold over a million books, was offered a $2 million deal from a publisher.

It's a crazy time to be a writer, with lots of columns on the menu of publishing choices.

I self-pubbed What Would Erma Do? because the agents/publishers I approached didn't think they could sell it, due to my lack of fame. I knew I had a platform, and an inkling of how to get the word out on the internet, so I thought I could just do it on my own. I hired the wonderful Joe Felipe to design my cover, worked with Createspace and Amazon's Digital Platform services, figured out how to upload to Smashwords, and started working the Inter-Network. Facebook, Twitter, Amazon discussion boards, Kindle Boards, other blogger's blogs, you name it.

The worst part of self-publishing is watching your book languish, and fall, in the Amazon rankings because no one is buying it. I swear, I could hear crickets chirping every time I logged into my account. But Michele Scott told me it takes time, so I'm attempting patience.

Now I'm starting to see one Erma e-book sale a day. No, it's not an avalanche. But it's one more than yesterday. Color me optimistic.

Back to the subject at hand: my second Peri book. While waiting for agents and listening to more than one person ask when the second book will be out, I began thinking. I have a cover artist. I know how to use the tools. Why not self-pub the second one?

As you can imagine, the entrepreneur angel and the traditional-book-deal angel started an argument of epic proportions in my head. My little traditional heart wanted to be able to say, "Why, yes, it will be released by Penguin next February," in that smugly humble way of authors. My desire to keep the Peri stories going said, "Screw that. Michele Scott's not afraid of being self-pubbed. Neither is Eisler, or Konrath, or a host of other really good writers. Get your work out there."

I was almost convinced to go ahead and self-publish, but there was one more avenue I wanted to try. There is a boutique publishing company that I admire a lot. I decided to submit to them. If they said no, I'd go it alone, and forget about the agents.

They said no. Not because of my writing. They really liked my writing, and thought the book could do well. They're just booked for the next 18 months or so and didn't think I'd want to wait until 2013 for a release, which is true. They've been nothing but kind and I'll continue to support them.

So right now, I'm working with Joe on cover art and giving the manuscript yet another scrutiny, mostly because I always think I can do better. I will keep everyone in the loop about when Hit or Missus will be available, and yes, I'll make it available in paperback and e-book format.

In the meantime, got any opinions about the cover? I like these two samples, for different reasons (forgive the horrible quality of the pictures - Joe and I work from pdf versions first, and the only way I can get them into the post is to scan a printout - lame, I know).

I like the block color format of this one, and the title in red. My only issue with it is the crack in the martini glass isn't AS vivid as the cover below.

I like the dark, edgy quality to this, and the way the crack in the glass is easy to see. I think my name needs to be smaller, and one of my friends thought the red slash was a red carpet and it didn't make sense to her.

Would anyone like to give me their opinion? About the covers, I mean. Actually, I guess you can give me your opinion about anything. But I could use some advice about the covers.

Is it warm in here, or is it just me?

It's a new dawn, it's a new day

Last weekend, I went to the Southern California Writer's Conference in San Diego. I've been to this conference before - as a matter of fact, I've been going to this conference twice a year since Palm Springs in 2005, I believe. I've sung its virtues before. For people who like to write, it's a working conference. For people who have something written for possible publication, it's a chance to meet agents, editors, and publishers. For people who have questions about where their writing should be going, there are people who've been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.

In other words, if you're a writer, any kind of writer, this conference is money well spent.

So this year I went with a head full of questions. My second Peri book is written and where I think it should be for submission. It's out with two agents, who requested it. One agent has had the book for a few months and another for a few weeks. Neither of these is too long for agents, and I could be content to wait for one of them to respond.

And yet, there is a new world out there. Borders' bankruptcy, self-publishing, and the Rise of the E-Book have conspired to set publishing spinning out of the Big Five's orbit. Rumor has it (rumor, people, meaning NOT verified) that Borders owes Penguin books $300 million, of which they might get pennies back on the dollar when the dust has settled. Chances are, Penguin will be able to survive this; however, because their business model was carved in stone during the Jurassic Era, I'm guessing they will cling more tightly to their old, established, revered, inflexible ways of doing business. I foresee them putting more of their money into their established authors and taking less chances on the newbies, or mid-list writers.

And let's talk e-book for a moment. I won't re-hash what Joe Konrath is saying, other than to tell you to go read his blog if you haven't (then come back here). E-books are outselling hard covers. I have a Kindle myself and I love to turn it on and go shopping at 11 o'clock at night. It's impulse buying at its best.

E-books in particular lend themselves to self-publishing, as does Amazon's Createspace, which does a decent job of producing a trade paperback that looks at least as good as my book, Freezer Burn, which was published with a small press.

So I, like many other Writers With Manuscripts, came to the conference wondering which road to go down. Should I wait patiently for the agents' responses? Should I knock at the door of one of the Big Five? Or go with another small press? Is an agent even relevant if I don't want to go to a big house? Or should I just publish the darn thing myself on Createspace/Kindle/Smashwords?

What the conference gave me wasn't answers. What they gave me was a list of things to consider that would help me make the best decision for myself. They assured me that it was no longer One Size Fits All, and that there was no wrong decision.

They also gave me permission to make a choice that might turn out wrong for me. In the old days, if you made one misstep, it was a long road back to redemption. For example, if you self-published ANYTHING in the past, a big publisher would not LOOK at any of your future work. Or, if your first book didn't sell well (even if you were out there hawking it every weekend and twice on Sundays), you'd never get the deal for the second book. If you've heard those rules, ignore them. Nothing's set in stone anymore except one thing:

WRITE THE BEST DAMN BOOK YOU CAN.

As the SCWC showed me this weekend, the sky's the limit once you've done that.

The view from the Border(s)

Borders Books in Brea - I've hit the big time!

I had my first FREEZER BURN signing at a Big Box o' Books yesterday. It was an interesting experience, although, I've noticed lately that I don't ever have boring experiences. But I digress…

It may be my first large-scale signing, but I think I learned a few things, things I'd like to pass on to others.

1. You Will Never Be Prepared Enough, and It Will Not Always Be Your Fault.

Even though I gave the staff promotional material, and even though I stopped by the store twice to verify that everything was ready, when I got there on Sunday, it was almost all for naught. The good news is, they had 20 copies of my book. The bad news is, I had met with two different floor managers, neither of which was on duty that day. They had relayed the information to this manager (a darling young man named Spenser) that I would be there someday at sometime.

"We have your stuff," he explained. "But nobody told me you'd be here today."

He set up a table and brought out books and was ever so charming about whether I needed anything else, and a little apologetic that he didn't have a clue where my promo material might be. Fortunately, I had a copy of the flyer in my car and he provided an easel for it.

Lesson: Bring EVERYTHING.

2. Location Is Important.

They set the table up in the middle of the store, behind the 50% Off racks. This made it difficult to greet customers. If I stood by the table, people took alternate paths to avoid me. As a matter of fact, they maneuvered quicker than a tight end running for the touchdown. If anyone was brave enough to walk toward me, they didn't seem to "connect" me with my books on the table - my books with my flyer with my picture on it.

When I sat down, I got better results. People were curious about me, sitting at a table in the middle of the bookstore, and I was able to engage them in conversation.

In hindsight, I should have asked Spenser if we could move my table up to the front door. I didn't because I didn't want to seem like a diva.

Lesson: Sometimes it's okay to be the diva.

3. People Buy Books in Inverse Proportion to How Much They Talk.

Several people came up and asked me about my book, talked to me at length about books in general, the writing process, and even my days as a software engineer. None of these people bought my book. Not only that, but I knew they weren't going to buy it. It's just one of those things, like a sixth sense. The Salesgirl in me wanted to (gently) shuffle them off. The Curious Person in me wanted to hear their stories. The Soft Heart in me didn't want them to feel discarded. By a vote of two-to-one, the Salesgirl lost.

Lesson: Tell the Salesgirl to shut up and listen.

4. Life is Sometimes a Pleasant Surprise.

Of the two floor managers I spoke to, one of them was very friendly, always laughing and easy to talk to. The other manager was, well, not. She had a reserved nature, very cautious, and always a serious expression on her face. Some might call it dour. When it was nearly closing time and I had sold 16 of my 20 books, I asked the clerk what else they needed me to do and he called up the manager who had just come on duty.

The dour one.

I held my breath, anxious that she'd tell me they were shipping the last four copies back to Ingram's tomorrow. She came over to the table and said, "Wow, you sold quite a bit."

"Well, all but these four," I replied. "So… what will happen to these?"

"We'll keep them on the shelves for at least a couple of weeks. If they don't sell, we'll send them back." She picked up the books. "You did really well, though. Some authors don't sell any."

I couldn't believe it. "How is that possible?"

"If they're not very personable and don't talk to people, they don't sell, even if they're fairly well known. But you did great."

And then… she smiled. She even laughed a little as she thanked me. We're buds now.

Lesson: Do your job, be pleasant, and you never know what rewards you may reap.

This Friday, I'm at Barnes & Noble in Fullerton. Wish me luck!