Prizes for all!

Releasing a book is an exciting event. You want to celebrate, and you want the world to celebrate with you. Bring on the champagne!



The caviar!

The giveaways and promotions!

Having other books already published means that everyone can join in the celebration. MURDER ON THE HOOF is my seventh, so in honor of a new release, I'm giving you a chance at getting my other six either for free or for a greatly reduced price.

First on the list: It's a Real Steal!

FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH: ONE LUCKY MEMOIR is on sale today through Wednesday, the 21st. For only 99 cents, you can download this ebook and be reading it within mere moments. It's regularly $3.99, so this is a significant savings.

Go here to get your copy - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D0HDYRQ

Already have it? Perhaps you have a horse (or animal) loving friend who would enjoy it. Are you aware that you can gift Kindle books to other people's Kindles? What a great (and inexpensive) way to say thank you, I love you, or any other message you want to send!

There are more on the horizon, so stay tuned, Peeps!

It's snowing promotions

*B*R*E*A*K*I*N*G****N*E*W*S*

Are you a Kindle reader who likes a bargain? Do you cringe when you see famous books by famous authors being offered on Kindle for more than the price of the paperback?

STARTING AT 9:00 A.M. TODAY (PST) - FOR ONE WEEK ONLY - Snoopy's memoir, From the Horse's Mouth, is being offered for 99 cents! That's $3 off the regular price - you could buy yourself a copy and gift three friends for the same amount. Talk about a Merry Christmas!

Snoopy's story of how trust and love helped him overcome injury and doubt is earning some great reviews. If you're a horse lover, an animal lover, or a sucker for a good old comeback tale, you'll enjoy this book. Here's the link on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D0HDYRQ

Now... on to the snow...

Why is it that every song that mentions snow is lumped into the Christmas music genre? Doesn't it snow in February? Did it snow in Bethlehem two-thousand years ago?

Don't answer that. (http://photoblog.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/12/13/21890229-holy-land-blanketed-in-snow-after-intense-winter-storm)

Take this little ditty.



I like to listen to Michael Buble. Mostly, though, I like to say his name. Boo-blay. Boo-blay-boo-blay-boo-blay. I could say it for days. HOWEVER.

This song is not at all about Christmas. There is no tree, no holly, no infant, nothing jolly. It's about trying to convince your date to spend the night. (he he he) I mean, where's the Christmas spirit in that?

This version works for me, too.



It's not very Christmas-y, but it still makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Earl Grey, anyone?

Reaching for the stars

My sales of Hit or Missus are looking kind of saggy, so I'm doing another promotion this weekend to see if I can generate some interest. Quite frankly, the last promo of Freezer Burn was less than stellar, but in hindsight, I don't think I did enough promoting. I didn't let Ereader News Today know about it, I didn't mention it more than once in my social media, and I let opportunities slip by right and left at Left Coast Crime.

Mea uber-culpa.

So this weekend, I'm all in. I've alerted ENT, I've paid for a BookBub spot, I'll mention it in my social media circles once every day of the promotion, and-and-and- oh, yeah, I'm talking about it here.

Here's my goal: I want 20,000 downloads. If you have a Kindle or a Kindle app and don't have Hit or Missus, here is your opportunity to get a free book and help me reach my goal. I'm not asking for your money, just your mouse-clicks.

This Saturday through Monday, the ebook is available for free. Call it my gift to those of you who sweated and struggled to make the April 15th Tax Filing Day Deadline. The IRS has your money - let me give you something to cheer you up.

Thank you all so much for your support. I appreciate you.

Here's the link again. Remember, it's Saturday through Monday.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00537SP5M

I need me some moves

I'm at a loss.

I've decided to embrace this self-publishing gig. Got my own little press, with its own little logo. Even got a business license, just so I'm legit.

I realize that authors and publishers do two different things. Authors create the product. Publishers package and promote the product. Two different hats must be worn. They cannot be worn simultaneously.

So while my third mystery, The Hot Mess, is in the hands of an editor and the cover art is in progress by my designer, I'm doing publisher things like writing the jacket blurb and thinking about how and when to release it in its various incarnations.

And don't forget promotion. How am I going to drum up interest in this thing?

It occurred to me that maybe I could get one or two of my more famous author friends to read an advance copy and give me a blurb for the jacket (note: only if they liked it). Something I could use in my advertising. Put on my website. Put on a banner and fly from a rented airplane. You know, the usual routine.

I met a fairly well-known and very established mystery author recently. Not Sue Grafton famous, but famous within her sub-genre. We spoke at length, exchanged emails and got along like peas in a pod. Perhaps she could help me with a little statement about how wonderful my book is.

But I don't ask for something without offering fair value. I purchased one of her books and read it, planning to first praise it to the heavens in an email and posting a good review on Amazon before asking for a blurb.

Imagine my chagrin when I discovered I didn't like the book. I looked at the reviews on Amazon and quite a few reviewers had the same problems I had, which only made me feel worse, because I thought maybe it was just me. It wasn't.

Here's the thing: I was struck by her aura, for lack of a better term, when we met. She was not snobby, or narcissistic. She was just An Author. Period. If I had written this book and given it to my beta readers, they would have ripped me to little bite-sized pieces. Not only did she get a contract, but the way she spoke, it would never occur to her that she wouldn't get a contract for any book she decided to write.

What she has is what I lack, and I don't mean the contract. I mean the swagger of being an author, the ownership that you write books for the world to read and you're confident they will all love them, and if they don't, you'll cry all the way to the bank. Every time I attempt this, I start feeling way too precious for my own skin and abandon it in favor of a hearty laugh.

Any suggestions, Authors? How does one go about developing the external presentation, the thing that announces to the world that of course you are An Author of Some Importance without letting it take you over until no one wants to talk to you? Do I need moves like Jagger or something?

I'm seriously looking for some suggestions. And blurbs. I wouldn't mind having some blurbs.

I am the quirk

I'm about three weeks into my 90-day trial of the Kindle Select Program with Are You There Erma? It's Me Gayle. Granted, it's early, but I thought I'd give you all a status report.

I did a five-day promotion. The bad news? I only gave away 535 copies. I suppose that's a lot, but I read about all these authors who give away thousands, yea, tens of thousands, so I was a little disappointed. The good news? In addition to those, I gave away about 150 copies on Amazon UK and 2 copies in Germany. The bad news? I did get one review on Amazon UK, saying my book was so wretched, the reviewer was glad they didn't pay for it. The good news? Since then, I've sold about 10 more copies in the UK and suddenly 3 copies of What Would Erma Do? Perhaps my humor does translate across the Pond.

As far as my American Amazon, after the promotion, the hype, the being #2 on the Humor>Family & Parenting AND the Humor>Essays list for free books, Are You There Erma sunk like a rock. Then, a couple of days later, I sold several more copies and got back up on the nonfree lists. Then this weekend, I'm a rock again. A big, heavy one, sinking, sinking...

One of the enticements of Kindle Select is their "lending program." Every time your book is loaned to someone else, you earn a percentage of their lending fund. This month it's $700,000, which is a big chunk-o-change if you're not in competition with, oh, two bazillion other authors. So far, it's a moot point for me, since I haven't loaned out a single copy yet.

Like I say, it's early yet, so things might turn around. Or they may just stay the same. Or all those people who got my book for free will write wretched reviews comparing my wit to that of a rock's. It doesn't bother me on a professional level, but I do wonder about that "any publicity is good publicity" belief.

While Erma was climbing, I got all a-tingle and decided to make the break with the rest of my books. Unpublished them from Smashwords and sat around, waiting for them to be removed from Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Sony, Apple, and all the little e-bookeries. Finally, they were free, so I enrolled them all in Kindle Select. And then...

I found out from a fellow author (and I verified this in the fine print of the T&C) that while your books are in the Kindle Select Program, you are not allowed to have them in any digital form anywhere else, including excerpts on your own webpage or blog.

Wha-huh?

I considered, for a moment, hunting down and deleting all my excerpts everywhere. After the dizziness passed, I did what any other thinking control freak would do: I un-enrolled my other books. I realize Amazon is trying to make their select work "exclusive", but I'm not in the mood to have them tell me I can't post a paragraph from Clean Sweep here, or a story from What Would Erma Do there, or a chapter of Hit or Missus every Sunday or so.

They're back on Smashwords, and will be re-populating the e-book stores soon, at 99 cents.

Like I said, it's still early in my experiment, and I may be pleasantly surprised, but I truly jumped the gun with my other books. Lesson learned.

In the meantime, I'm learning another lesson. This one is about myself. I want to continue writing and putting out books. I love to meet potential readers, and I am a good at explaining what my books are about. I got great hooks. But I am not good at promoting my books, and here's why:

1. I don't want to sell you a book I think you won't like. If you only read about vampires, or only non-fiction, you will not only waste your time reading my book, you'll be pissy with me for selling you on it.  If you like humorous mysteries, I want you to read mine. If you read it and don't like it, I sincerely want to know why. If you don't like mysteries, read mine and don't like it, um, okay, did you not know it's a mystery? I'd like your money, but I'm not going to trade my soul for it.

2. It annoys me to No End to see other authors crowing about where their books are on the charts or the great review they just got. It's not jealousy. I have some great reviews. My books are not suffering. I make money every month on them. I've actually tried it myself, but each time it left a nasty taste in my mouth, even though I know I should be doing it. I don't know whether it's my Midwestern Baptist fear of looking too prideful (my mother's favorite verse: "Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall"), or whether at my roots I consider writing a job. I mean, how many times do you see a welder post about how great his welding workmanship is?

It's a rather horrid lesson to learn, because now I either have to figure out how to get past it all or I have to hire someone to promote my work the way I should be doing it. One way or another, it's going to cost me, either in therapy or paying wages.

Does anyone else have this problem, of recoiling at that moment when you should be extending your hand with a book in it, saying, "You'll love this"? Do I have to learn to be a psychopath so I can shout out, "Look at me - I'm on top of the world"?

Or am I just the quirky girl in the room?

Down thru the chimney with good Saint...

Okay, I don't know if he's a saint or not, but Nick Valentino is on a whirlwind tour this month to promote his novel, Thomas Riley. Before I met Nick, I had never heard of Steampunk, and now... well, I've heard of it. Seriously, it sounds like a wonderful new genre that I've barely scratched the surface learning and I'd love to jump into all the layers.

Here today, Nick is going to give you all a hint of what Steampunk is all about, along with some of his observations about what it's like to be a published writer in the 21st Century:

* * * * * * * * * * *

The Extra Twenty Miles

The bane of every writer is the idea that they have to promote their own book. At writer’s conferences, when promoting your work is brought up a huge collective groan rumbles through the audience. We all want to just write… right?

Being a writer without a huge Little Brown contract leaves all of us in the dilemma of promoting your own work. So there’s, book signings, conferences, travel, bank accounts, shipping, print ads, online ads, out of the box promotion, air fare, wardrobe, taxis, banners, flyers, photo shoots, social networking, maintaining a blog (or three), postcards, book marks, stickers, buttons, packing materials, blog touring, contacting bookstores, expense breakdowns, planning meetings, Paypal, pre-orders, posters, websites, con registrations, hotel reservations, contests, wholesale orders, returned books, book reviews and sending review copies… Had enough? That doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface.

Here I am in the middle of my thirty day blog tour, day seventeen to be exact, and I can tell you this. I’m pretty darned overwhelmed. Keep in mind I like doing a lot of this stuff, so life could be worse. I could be digging ditches in the rain somewhere right? I enjoy making things happen and actually seeing a tangible product when you’re done with each little goal. The problem lies in the fact that there is often simply too much to handle. I have friends and family helping and it’s still not enough.

I promise, I’m not complaining. I’m just trying to say that writing is never just writing. In order to get noticed amongst the other hundred thousand books that were released this year, you the author have to go the extra twenty miles. Nope, one mile isn’t close to enough.

When I was finished writing my Steampunk (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steampunk) novel, Thomas Riley, the work had really just begun. I had all of these grand plans for promoting the book, and I’m making those happen now, but it’s so easy to get caught up in one aspect of promotion. For instance, I’ve been breaking my days up into individual goals. Friday I created new “@sirthomasriley.com” emails. I contacted about ten cons around the country and I lined up promotional models to appear at the cons. Monday I created a definitive list with prices and priorities of cons. Tuesday I made a back log of expenses and finalized my company bank account for book sales. It’s hardly the stereotype of a writer, right?

Obviously the most important part of being an author is the writing, but I have to say that your chances of really spreading the word about your book are pretty slim unless you make promoting said book a way of life. I’m like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde… No more like Professor Nerdy and Mr. Hollywood PR Guy.

From all this hard work, comes my obsession, my passion and my first novel, Thomas Riley. I only gave you a Wiki website with the explaining what Steampunk is, but think of it this way: Chill 1 part Jules Verne, mix with two parts Indiana Jones, add a mixer of H.G. Wells and for flavor twist in a little Frankenstein.

Thomas Riley Blurb:

For more than twenty years West Canvia and Lemuria have been at war. From the safety of his laboratory, weapons designer Thomas Riley has cleverly and proudly empowered the West Canvian forces. But when a risky alchemy experiment goes horribly wrong, Thomas and his wily assistant Cynthia Bassett are thrust onto the front lines of battle and forced into shaky alliances with murderous sky pirates in a deadly race to kidnap the only man who can undo the damage: the mad genius behind Lemuria's cunning armaments.

Find out more at:
http://sirthomasriley.com/

You can purchase signed copies at:
http://thomasriley.bigcartel.com/

or
http://www.echelonpress.com/

* * * * * * * * * * *
Thanks, Nick!

Who knew?

You all know I write a newspaper column, right? Most people consider it an "Erma Bombeck" style of humor essay, which doesn't offend me in the least since I loved Erma and even share a birthday with her. You can read some of my columns here.

I've been writing the column since March 2005, describing the ups, downs and quirkiness of life at the Carline house. It's been an interesting job. Every week I tell some tale about Marcus at school or Dale and I trying to have a conversation, but I rarely get any feedback about my essays. Were they good? Did anybody laugh? Is anybody reading them?

(Tapping microphone) Is this thing on?

Four years later, I've started to get noticed. People I meet around town tell me they read my column every week and enjoy it a lot. It's such a reward to know I'm not writing into a void. Still, I consider my essays to be frivolous little excursions into one family's life. You know, a mom's story about getting her son to do his homework, or a woman's tale of getting her car repaired. Not exactly hard-hitting news.

Then, this weekend, that perception changed. I was at the end of the year banquet for my son's high school soccer game, sitting at a table with two couples I didn't know, chatting about our kids and the latest budget crisis, etc. At the end of the evening, one of the women moved over to the chair next to mine and said, "I want to thank you for all those articles you write. My son is two years behind Marcus, and I feel like you've prepared me for everything he's gone through."

She pointed out an article I had written specifically about the transition from elementary school to junior high. I was a little dismayed by the extremes at the time: we had gone from a very supportive, feel-good elementary education, to an environment that rivaled most universities in the degree of "sink or swim" independence, and lack of involvement from the teachers. When her son went into junior high, she knew how to be pro-active, just from reading my humorous take on Middle School Survival tactics. People do tell me they like my columns because they see themselves in my situations, but who knew my sassy writing would actually help someone?

Her remarks were the high point of my weekend. I've written my column for four years, and will probably continue, as long as I enjoy it and my editors keep me around. I remember, after the first year, thinking I was a pretty good writer now and why wasn't I getting more noticed? Now, I look back and see how much I had to learn and to grow, both in my skills and my reputation. And I feel that I'm truly ready to be a successful author, as well as a "famous-in-my-own-backyard" columnist.

What about you? Did anyone else think they were ready for the next big thing, whether it was a book deal or a work promotion, only to realize there were still some lessons to learn? What did you do to be ready to take that step?