Go!

Go over to Amazon right now and get it for FREE!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D0HDYRQ

On your mark, get set...

GO over to Amazon at midnight tonight, and you can pick up a free copy of From the Horse's Mouth: One Lucky Memoir for your Kindle.

That's right. F.R.E.E.

Snoopy's book will be free until Sunday the 13th. Ya snooze, ya looze. (Yes, I know it's misspelled but it looks funnier this way, and I'm all about the funny.)

Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D0HDYRQ

Contest winners and so much more!

I have three winners in my book giveaway! (Pardon me while I use some exclamation points! I can't help myself! Editors won't let me use them, so they get all backed up in my fingers! I must let them out!!)

There. I feel better.

The three winners are: Stephen Connell, Laura Joseph, and a lovely lady named Candy with no last name but an intriguing email address that begins with "dragonfly". Candy already received her ebook, Stephen will get his paperback as soon as I have the copies in my hot little hands, and Ms. Joseph needs to tell me what kind of book she wants so I know what to send her.

This means the contest is over, but I've got more good news to report.

1. I've released the paperback version of The Hot Mess a week early. You can now get it on Amazon. It may take a week or so until you can order it from Barnes & Noble and the nice independent bookstores in your neighborhood. Here's the Amazon link.

2. Just in time for the holidays, I've also released a packaged set of all three Peri mysteries plus her short story, Clean Sweep, all for $7.99. This is about $2 off the price if you purchased them all separately. Such a deal - look for The Peri Minneopa Mystery Set.

3. If you're already a Peri reader and just need the latest one in the series, still remember that $2.99 for The Hot Mess is less than you'd pay for a fancy Starbucks coffee, and will last longer!

4. I knew you could give an ebook as a gift to someone, but I recently discovered that you can actually schedule it. So consider giving an ebook to arrive in someone's cyber-stocking on Christmas morning, along with that new Kindle HD. Or schedule one book a night for Hanukkah. Or a December birthday... the possibilities are endless. Visit my Amazon page for some ideas.

Yes, Sirree, I'm going places

Namely, I'm going to the Santa Barbara Writer's Conference tomorrow (that's Tuesday the 12th). Apart from speaking on a panel, I've never actually attended this conference, so I'm going to recommend it with the following caveat: it's run by some truly wonderful writers/editors/publishers/word enthusiasts, so I expect nothing but excellence from them.

Sadly, it's too late to register (the conference started on Saturday and ends this Thursday), but put it on your radar for next year. It's expensive, mostly because it's almost a week long, but it looks like you get a lot of bang for your buck. Plus, it's in Santa Barbara, which is beautiful.

I'm going to be one of a few people talking about being the entrepreneurial author. I've been thinking about it recently, and I've decided I'm the accidental indie. Self-publishing was the furthest thing from my mind until I wanted to publish a book of my columns and no one wanted to touch it. After I published What Would Erma Do? I still vowed that my mysteries would travel the traditional path.

It took several months of cumulative information about the publishing industry to get me to walk out on that skinny limb and self-pub Hit or Missus. Was it a rousing success that catapulted me to stardom and fame? Yeah, not so much. It's been more of a roller coaster, up one month and down the next, as I try different marketing tactics.

But I wouldn't trade the journey for the traditional route now. I love having control of my covers, my titles, and my marketing. I don't want to "never say never" to traditional publishing, but for right now, this is the right path for me.

One of the things that seems to make a difference is offering a one-day freebie on Kindle. Sales usually rise for the rest of the month. This is why I'm offering Hit or Missus for free tomorrow (that's Tuesday the 12th). If you're smart, you'll grab it up for your Kindle. If you're kind, you'll buy it (LOL).

Mikey, RIP, a Corgi

Duffy, also a Corgi

In keeping with my embrace of self-publishing, I've decided to create a "home" for my books, as in an official press name. The first name I thought of was completely fitting: Dancing Corgi Press. I've had Joe Felipe hard at work designing a logo for me. So far, this is my favorite (but I still might want to mess with the font):

What say you?

On your mark, get set...

Hop on over to Amazon and get your free copies of my books. Yes, all of them! Today only!

Here's the link to my Amazon page. You can download them and read them on your computer, you can download a Kindle App to your latest toy, so there's no excuse not to get them.

I'm taking a trip to Carmel to celebrate my anniversary with my hubby. (And if you're thinking of coming by to rob us while we're gone, I'm sorry, but our son is home from college this weekend.)

Ferocious, yes?

Enjoy.

Amazon, schmamazon

In theory, I should despise Amazon. They are the Wal-Mart of the Internet, offering goods and services at such low prices, they decimate any mom-and-pop endeavors in the area, blighting towns and only hiring part-time employees so they don't have to offer any benefits. Amazon is out to rule the world, and so far, it seems that nothing will stop them.

And yet.

As an author, I'm damned happy they exist. I've uploaded my books on Kindle and created paperbacks on CreateSpace, and they are for sale in the Amazon store nearly immediately. Amazon lets me set up an Author's page, where people can come and see if I'm legit or just a fly-by-night, one-trick-writer, full of typos and horrid grammar. They make it easy for me to get my books to market, and they pay me monthly. Yes. Monthly.

Let's consider the rest of the industry: Barnes & Noble, Sony, Apple, Kobo, blah-blah-blah. At Barnes & Noble, we have the PubIt! feature, but I can't set up an author's page and they pay every 60 days. I can't figure out how to even load my own books on the rest, except to go through Smashwords. Don't misunderstand - Smashwords is a great vehicle for uploading to all e-readers, but I'm only paid a month after every quarter end.

Not as friendly as Amazon.

As much as I love people of all e-races and e-readers to have access to my books, I tallied last year's numbers and saw that I did less than 10% of my total sales on all non-Kindle devices put together.

So I'm trying an experiment. I've signed up for the Kindle Select Lending Program, for my newest book, "Are You There Erma? It's Me Gayle". For 90 days, this book will only be available on Kindle. For the next FIVE days, it is being offered as a free promotion.

This is day one, and it's at #1,093 in the Free Kindle Store, #3 in Humor, Essays and #4 in Humor, Parenting and Families. It feels a little icky to be handing out all these free copies, but we'll see how the free rankings help my sales once the free promotion shine wears off.

If it gives this book the boost I'm hoping for, I may have to go with nothing but Kindle for all my books. Sorry, Nook-folks, iReaders, Sony-ites. It's all Amazon's fault. They're treating me too nicely.

And for all you Kindlings, you've got til Friday to get Are You There Erma? It's Me Gayle. What are you waiting for?

A Christmas Sing-a-long!

I really have a bunch of cleaning to do today, but I had to get this out of the way first.

I was itching to do a promo video, and asked my son to provide the soundtrack. Unfortunately, he's all tied up with things like finals and juries (these are finals that you sing), so he was unable to help. That means it's up to you.

Let's have a sing-a-long! Here's your motivation (in addition to not being a singer, I'm also not a photographer, but play along):

Okay, in your best Karen Carpenter Dulcet Tones, sing along with me:

(insert beautiful piano intro here)

I'll be home for Christmas,
You can count on me.
Please have Nooks,
And lots of books,
And Kindles 'round the tree.

Christmas Eve will find me
Where the stories lead.
I'll be home for Christmas,
With lots of stuff to read.

Happy Holidays with much love for your support and friendship,

Gayle.

My tail is waggin'

I uploaded the files on Saturday afternoon, then spent Sunday checking Amazon and Smashwords every, oh, ten minutes, to see when my book would be ready. Smashwords finished first, then the Kindle version late Sunday, and finally, this morning there was a pretty little paperback for purchase on Amazon. Barnes & Nobel will get it into their system within the next 30 days or so.

It was the best feeling in the world. Monday was a whirlwind of email messages, Tweeting, and Facebook posting. I also packaged up: copies to send to reviewers, a copy won in a drawing at the L.A. Times Festival of Books, and a copy a friend/reader bought from my website so she could get it autographed.

Now I can sit back and tell myself it's a marathon, not a sprint. This is useful information when your books aren't selling and all you hear are crickets in cyber-space.

Here are all the links you can follow to buy Hit or Missus at the moment (in addition to the PayPal button at the right for an autographed copy.

Paperback
http://www.amazon.com/Hit-Missus-Gayle-Carline/dp/1461093597
 
Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/Missus-Peri-Minneopa-Mystery-ebook/dp/B00537SP5M
 
Other e-formats
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/62769

It's ready. Now what?

Dear Readers and Mystery Fans,

I received my proof copy of Hit or Missus yesterday, and I must say, it's really just damn fine looking. Writing the second book in my Peri Minneopa mystery series frightened me. I was afraid of the sophomore jinx. I tossed and turned, worrying about the plot, then fought my way through the writing. I can't even tell you how long it took me to write the last 20,000 words. All I can compare it to is that dream where you're running toward the door and it's getting further away at each step.

You've never had that dream?

Trust me, it sucks. No matter how much I wrote, I kept looking at the storyline, thinking, damn, I'm not done yet.

But now it's here and I actually love it. At the LA Times Festival of Books last weekend, I got to practice my elevator pitch, until I found one that worked:

"In Hit or Missus, my private eye is hired to spy on a wealthy, possibly cheating, wife, but the wife's girlfiriends have other ideas. Because, as you know, a friend will help you move. But a good friend will help you move a body."

How's that sound?

So Hit or Missus is ready to go. The paperback looks good. The e-book files are ready for upload to Kindle Direct and Smashwords. I could green-light them all right now.

The question is: Should I? Or should I hold back a little, until I've got the celebration planned, so that I release the book during the release party?

I've got the question up on Facebook, and I'm putting a poll on this blog. What say you?

Warmest regards,

Gayle
Author (of multiple books!), Columnist, Maven-in-Training

Wow, there's someone else at the door

In the spirit of making new friends in the writing community, I've been hanging out on Kindle Boards. Even if you don't own a Kindle, you'll find a lot of discussions about books and by authors. I encourage you to wander around.

One of the authors I met is Steve Drennon, a writer of both fantasy and poetry. Like most of us, he's been writing forever, and has three volumes of poetry as Steven R. Drennon, as well as a fantasy novel under the pen name Scott Dennisen.

When I saw he was looking for authors to guest on his blog AND he was a poet, I thought, how fortuitous. I need to get around more and guest on blogs, and it's National Poetry Month. Who better to have on my blog than a poet?

So here are Steve's thoughts about poetry and its celebration. I think you'll find him quite exuberant.

* * * * *






Okay, a quick show of hands! How many people knew that April is National Poetry Month? Two people, just as I expected! Talk about an image problem!


So why is it that so few of us read poetry these days? Are we still traumatized by the required reading in high school? Is it because we associate poetry with stale, old-fashioned literature that has fallen out of fashion? Is it because we view poets as these elitist isolationists who expound on ideals that most of us don’t care about? Or maybe we just don’t get it? Seriously now, when was the last time you read a poem, or checked out a poetry book from the library, or even more importantly, actually bought a book of poems? Yeah, that’s what I thought!


Poetry has long been considered an art form. Personally, I think that was something drummed up by a bunch of poets who were trying to get people interested enough to buy their work! It really doesn’t matter if it is an art form, because people just aren’t buying poetry these days.


What would it take to get you to read a poem? Would it have to feature young vampire lovers, or maybe a scintillating murder mystery? What if it was all about faeries and other magical, mythical creatures that only existed in some far off fantasy world? Or maybe alien life forms that are trying to colonize the farthest reaches of space?


I think that is exactly part of the problem. I believe most people tend to focus on a specific genre and then follow authors who write in that genre. When you go looking for something to read pertaining to the paranormal, you don’t think about a poem. Maybe there are a lot of great paranormal poets out there, but I suspect not. As a writer we just don’t generally put our poetry into a clearly defined genre.


I think another part of the problem is that none of us really tend to speak or think in rhyme. That’ s not to say that all poetry rhymes, but admit it, the first thing that usually comes to mind when it comes to poetry is “does it rhyme”? If not, then isn’t it “just” prose? Even then, does it really matter?


Okay, so what can we do about this under-appreciation of poetry? Well, did I mention that April is National Poetry Month? Oh good, you were paying attention! In recognition of that fact, I’d like to encourage everyone to read at least one poem this month. Heck, if you like it, you might even end up reading two! More importantly, if you find a poem or a poet that you do like, tell somebody about it! Send an e-mail, send a tweet, or even blog about it! Spread the word: poetry lives!




* * * * *

Just so Steve doesn't think we're all Philistines over here, I follow Ruth's Synch-ro-ni-zing blog just because of its beautiful poetry, and I have dabbled in verse my own darn self. But I agree with Steve - if you haven't visited a poet's land in awhile, or even ever, this is the month to try out the wonders of Robert Frost, Langston Hughes, Sylvia Plath, or, hey - Steven Drennon.

His books are available on the Amazon Kindle, as follows:
http://www.amazon.com/Beginnings-Selected-Steven-Drennon-ebook/dp/B004URS84O

http://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Selected-Steven-Drennon-ebook/dp/B004USPA3U
http://www.amazon.com/Enduring-Selected-Steven-Drennon-ebook/dp/B004UW00DG

Thanks for stopping by, Steve, and good luck with your writing.

Why buy the cow?

If you're a writer and you haven't checked out Scribd.com, do so as soon as your tush hits the chair and you read this blog. Because, of course, the first thing you do when you fire up the laptop is check for a new edition of my blog, right?

Okay, I couldn't type that with a straight face.

Anyway, Scribd is an online resource for posting your writing and gaining a readership. When I first tried it, I wasn't that convinced. I started by posting a few chapters of Hit or Missus, my as-yet-unpublished follow up to Freezer Burn. I thought, well, let's see if I can get anyone's interest, or even critiques of what I've got going. For those of you who are saying, wait, what publisher will want your material after you've published it online?

First of all, I won't put the whole thing on Scribd. Second, if I can show a publisher that I've got this audience anxiously waiting for the end of the story, how is that going to hurt me?

The results were slow at first, and then picked up to a nice, if moderate pace. I find that I have to re-readcast my work every once in awhile to re-generate interest.

The real interest came when I posted a few files of What Would Erma Do? I began with a simple teaser, then posted the first chapter, and finally an excerpt dealing with a topic I had addressed recently. My audience increased immediately to over a thousand reads. It seems like one more way to reach readers via the Internet.

The reason I'm telling you all this is that one of the items I've read is a paper by Jacqui Murray called How to Publish Your Blog on Kindle. Apparently, people give Amazon a link to feed their blogs to a subscription service for the Kindle. Readers can subscribe for a nominal fee.

Pay for a blog? Are they nuts?

I can't honestly figure out why anyone would buy a subscription to what they can get for free, unless, as Jacqui points out, they don't always have access to a computer but do carry a Kindle or an iPad and must have your blog right now. Seems like a pretty flimsy excuse, but she's making a little money off her blog. Not enough to buy the private island with a jet, but a few bucks every month.

You know me - I figured, why not? My blog is now available for the low, low fee of $1.99 a month, delivered to your device automatically. FYI, Amazon set the subscription price. Some blogs are $0.99, some are $1.99, and a few are higher. I don't know how they figure the rate, but I get a cut of it.

I'll let you know how the experiment progresses.

Nuthin but good news

First, the good news: I'm currently getting my new book formatted for the Kindle. So, for all of you Kindle fans (of which I am a member), sit tight and you can have your copy of What Would Erma Do? AT AN UNBELIEVABLY LOW PRICE. Okay, I'm not sure about how unbelievable, but it will be a smidgeon of what you'd pay for some author-with-a-big-name-publisher's newest book.

Second, the also-good news: If you like paperbacks, would you like a free copy of WWED? Just head over to Goodreads and ENTER TO WIN!

***BREAKING NEWS*** When I first posted this, I forgot to say that the giveaway begins January 21st and ends February 21st. Why? Because February 21st is my birthday, and it is also Erma's birthday. How karmic is that? So visit Goodreads on Friday, January 21, and go for the win!

No purchase necessary, void in the states of Denial, Consternation, and Irritability. See below for details:

Goodreads Book Giveaway

What Would Erma Do?

by Gayle Carline

Giveaway ends February 21, 2011.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

What we have heah is a failure to communicate.

A couple of posts ago, I spoke of David Mathison's talk at the Southern California Writer's Conference, and asked for opinions and discussion about the future of the paper book. The responses to the post, and to some other blogs I've been lurking on, lead me to believe I might have been misunderstood.

My quandry was this: As children, our first experiences with books are tactile ones. We chew on the fabric picture book, then we touch the patches of fluffy and slick and rough on board books, and slowly graduate up through chapter books, etc. While many of us are embracing the world of e-books, gobbling up Kindles, Nooks, and eReaders, almost everyone with Kindle-in-hand says, "but I still like to read paper books," or some such statement. I wondered what, if anything, would replace those early childhood sensations to allow us to completely give up our dependency upon the feeling of a book in our hands as adults?

Let me make my position clear: I'm NOT opposed to ebooks. I want a Kindle, or a Nook. As a nerd, I adore technology and welcome new toys.

What I want are ideas... what's out there to replace this? I know there are interactive books for the computer. My son had one, and delighted in clicking on things to find hidden clues. But what else?

Will anything replace this? We've got a few of these three-dimensional bug-eyed books and they were fun novelties to him.

Maybe they'll have a Baby's First Kindle, although it would need to be shatter-proof, slobber-proof and spill-proof. Will it be big enough to sit in Mom or Dad's lap every night and find the mouse?

Or how about books that are really works of art? This book has very few, very thoughtful words, accompanied by beautiful pictures.

I'm asking for all you folks who are thinking outside the box, who've glimpsed the future and seen some of the sights, who are dreaming of the paperless world, to tell me what's coming and what may be.

What would the paperless world look like, if you had your way?

Here's my version of a de-brief.

I've been back from the Southern California Writer's Conference for a week now, and I'm just beginning to get it all processed in my brain. Part of this is because I came down with a cold on Saturday evening and am still in the residual-congestion phase, which makes it hard to concentrate. Part of it is because I spent too many late nights in the bar with everyone, cold and all, and my bio-rhythms get all wacky when I disrupt my schedule. And part of it is because I had so many interesting discussions with so many smart people, my mind goes down a million rabbit holes when I think of any of the topics we covered.

The cold was unfortunate on a couple of levels. For one thing, cold meds hamper your taste buds as well as your drinking, and the Crowne Plaza has a fun sushi bar. The only thing I could really taste was the spicy tuna. Yum. For another, Dale joined me on Saturday for a romantic evening, in honor of Valentine's Day. I'm afraid I was passed out on Sudafed instead.

The worst part of having a cold was that I was on a debut writer's panel on Sunday. Five of us were supposed to be talking about what our experience was like, being newbies, and what we wished we had known before we jumped into the publishing waters. The wonderful Cricket Abbott asked us questions first, then opened the floor to questions from the audience.

I've been on a panel before, and knew I had a tendency to be a mike hog, so I was careful to give short, yet clever, answers.

Here's the thing: the lady next to me couldn't stop talking. I'm not trying to disparage her; some people can't say in one word what they can say in ten. That's why their editors are so vital. But when you're on cold meds and the person next to you is talking so much that they begin to sound like they're kind of droning, you start looking around the room to see who's here and thinking about what you're going to have for dinner and before you know it, the microphone is in your hands and you've forgotten what the question was.

And you can't ask, "What was the question?" because everyone will know you think the previous author was talking too much and then it becomes embarrassing. So instead, I either gave an answer that covered all the bases, hoping I'd get lucky, or I just mumbled that I was on cold meds and gave some vague response. At any rate, I'd like to apologize for sounding like an idiot at various points during the session (in between bursts of brilliance, I'm sure).

I'd tell you lots of "late nights at the bar" stories, except I've been sworn to secrecy for most, and what happens in San Diego stays in San Diego. I'll give you one snippet: track down Gordon Kirkland or Rick Ochocki, and ask them to tell you the story of what happens when a serial prankster (Gordon) and the nicest guy in southern California (Rick) play a prank in the men's room. I heard the story twice, on consecutive nights, and laughed, in convulsive, weeping guffaws, each time.

Now then, for the deep discussions part: one of the guest speakers was David Mathison, former vice president of Reuters News Service, who sold 5,000 copies of his book, Be the Media, in a single day, as the result of one Tweet. Before all my author friends run off to the liquor cabinet, let me say that there was a lot of luck to his exceptional feat. He's a man who travels in the mid-to-upper stratospheres of society and has Facebook and Twitter friends who can say, "Hey, David, come up to the golf tourney this weekend and let's talk about a mass distribution of your book to my legions of students." And he has canned DMs (Direct Messages) he sends out to anyone who follows him - something I dislike - but apparently works when you're up with the Big Boys.

At any rate, his message was pretty simple: "The containers are dying, but the contents will always remain." In other words, LPs went to tapes, both cassette and 8-track, then to CDs, and now we're buying MP3s and iTunes. We didn't stop wanting music. We just changed the container it comes in. He thinks the same thing will happen to books. People still want to be told a good story, but the tactile experience of holding paper in their hands isn't as necessary as the words. He thinks we will all arrive at e-books, eventually.

Michael Steven Gregory (Executive Director of SCWC) and I sat in the bar (amidst a cast of thousands) and talked about the speaker's words. Michael was bemoaning the fact that, as a society, we are spending all of our disposable income on things we don't actually own. We don't own the recordings on our TiVo. We don't own our iTunes. This was recently evidenced when Amazon pulled all the Orwell books from everyone's Kindles because of some copyright question. He wanted to know what I thought.

You know me. I've always got an opinion.

"Our first experience with books starts with cloth books we can chew on, then we go to the thick board books, pop-ups, books with fluffy bunnies we can touch and flowers we can scratch and sniff. This prepares us for the experience of hard covers and thin pages. How are we going to replace those early learning tools electronically, so that the Kindles and nooks and eReaders are as second-nature to us?"

Michael, as usual, waxed philosophic. "Hell if I know."

So, my minions, what do you think? Will the container(s) for our words ever become as invisible as the containers for our music? At what point will society ever look upon books the way we look on old 78s?

Now you know why I go to this conference.

TV is good for me

I was one of those kids who was raised in front of the TV set, so it never occurred to me to call it a "vast wasteland". It was my friend, my window to the world of other lands and people and beliefs and cultures and... well, you get the idea. My own family, God bless 'em, was littered with conservative, fundamentalist, racist views; if I'd grown up in only their company, who knows what a hot mess I'd be today? Yes, I also read plenty of books. But on TV, I got to see decent families of all colors, exotic countries, and cooking that didn't involve oil and flour.

So now I watch a lot of shows, mostly dramas these days, always mysteries. From Cold Case to NCIS, Medium, and the L&O and CSI franchises, I'm always trying to figure out whodunit. Lately, I've been trying to figure out more. I've been watching the story arcs and how they're set up. They all do it slightly differently, but I've learned a lot of interesting things I can apply to my own plot lines. For example:

CSI - I only watch the original and NY (I admit it, Caruso is too creepy for me), but I've noticed that the first person they interview is usually the killer, especially if they look benign and act helpful. Cold Case follows this formula also; the one person you discount as being innocent usually did it.

L&O - In this show, the first interviewee is usually NOT the killer, and their theories on the motive will shift at least three times during the hour.

NCIS - I don't notice as many red herrings in this show, altho I may be wrong. What I do notice is the chipping away, bit by bit, of the evidence until the killer is narrowed down. And I notice that I've got a crush on McGee(k), who wrote one thriller and is now a recognized bestseller, and buys expensive clothes and cars. Ah, the romance of the writer, through the eyes of the media (who should know better).

Medium - The fun part of this show is trying to figure out where Allison's dreams/visions are trying to lead me. Should I take them literally this week, or figuratively? If I was writing paranormal, I'd want to do it like this.

Recently, I've been conscious of the soundtrack. A sad moment may be well written (and have all the right camera angles), but if it didn't have that poignant music behind it, would I still be weeping at the TV screen? Which made me think...

What if e-books came with soundtracks? The Kindle, iPhone, eReader, etc are all getting more sophisticated. They know what page you're on - why couldn't a clever person program music to accompany the words? As your main character cradles their dying best friend, the music swells appropriately. Or perhaps, for the savvy and independent reader, they are allowed to program their own soundtrack? How cool would that be? I wonder if Amazon/Apple/Sony would be interested, and more importantly, would pay me for their interest. It could be the next great app!

See, TV didn't rot my brain at all.